Winona Ryder Says Johnny Depp Never Abused Her, People Don’t Like That
Winona Ryder Says Johnny Depp Never Abused Her, People Don’t Like That

When Amber Heard accused Johnny Depp of domestic violence, all of Depp’s exes came out and were like,”Wait, Johnny? Johnny Johnny?”.  Everyone except Winona Ryder. That meant people found Ryder quotes from 25 years ago that, depending on which lens you happened to be looking through, totally meant Johnny Depp beat her. Ryder tells Time he didn’t.

I can only speak from my own experience, which was wildly different than what is being said. I mean, he was never, never that way towards me. Never abusive at all towards me. I only know him as a really good, loving, caring guy who is very, very protective of the people that he loves. It’s hard because I feel like—that’s my experience. And it’s been a very long time.

And since Winona Ryder deftly understands the hashtag world in which we now all live, attempted to make this an unproblematic as possible by saying her experience in no way represents Amber Heard’s. 

I don’t know how you feel about it, but it’s like anybody who says anything about it is a victim-blamer. I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened. I’m not calling anyone a liar. I’m just saying, it’s difficult and upsetting for me to wrap my head around it. Look, it was a long time ago, but we were together for four years, and it was a big relationship for me. And we have a lot of mutual friends. I just never heard anything like that about him.

And she felt the need to reiterate that point. 

But, again, I feel like even saying that, I’m going to get death threats or something. I’m not on social media, so maybe I will be spared.

Nope. Not spared. Winona Ryder is just “another Johnny Depp ally”. We’re also told that Ryder’s experiences “aren’t relevant“. And we were also told that this was relevant.  You can see how this can get confusing when we’re being told that this is indeed relevant. Either none of it is relevant or all of it is. Either Johnny Depp physically and mentally abused Amber Heard or he didn’t. Either Amber Heard is a manipulative gold digger or she’s not. Either I finish this post now or I don’t. I guess the only way we can stop talking about this is when Johnny Depp and Amber Heard talk under oath, which neither of them apparently seem to have any interest in doing. At this point, maybe Amber Heard should just put out an album then marry Chris Brown then put out another album. Then marry Comcast and put out another one. I would say then marry Harambe, but he’s dead. #RIP

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Tim Burton Confirmed ‘Beetlejuice 2’, Winona Ryder Is In

I got demons running all through me, all through me. Tim Burton confirmed he’s directing Beetlejuice 2 with Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder. Yes, please.

Keaton told us on February 13 that he was in if Burton was, and on October 17 he mentioned that they were waiting for a script; but now Burton is here to set the record straight — “Beetlejuice 2″ is happening, and some very familiar faces will return. “Oh yeah,” Burton said, when MTV News asked if he’d be directing the sequel. And his response to the question of whether or not Winona Ryder would be returning? “Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah,” he said. “Oh yeah, oh yeah. Yeah yeah, oh yeah.”…“I worked with [Ryder], I hadn’t seen her in awhile… and she was so great,” Burton said. “I was so happy to see her. So those kinds of elements mean something to me. Michael, and her… and that character, I just miss it, there’s some freedom about that character that I love.”

If you find yourself getting tired of the same type of chick appearing on here all the time, you can mostly blame 90s Jennifer Love Hewitt and 90s Winona Ryder. Short, hot brunettes with big racks. Winona Ryder stole my heart in the 90s then stole some other shit too, but that doesn’t really matter. What? Like you’re perfect. You don’t understand her life!

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Winona Ryder is a Long Way From Reality Bites, Links

Lady Gaga got drunk in a wedding dress because of course she did [The Superficial]
Camila Alves is a hot pregnant lady [Popoholic]
Minka Kelly and Mandy Moore got friendly at the US Open [Hollywood Tuna]
Come on, you know you want to search [MyEx]
Jessie J upskirt (bonus: you can’t see her face!) (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Joe Biden tries Clinton‘s strategy for gaining votes.” [Dlisted]
Natalie Portman is in a bikini (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Someone stole Woody Harrelson‘s fucking Shih Tzu [Celebuzz]
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison might be back together [Celebitchy]
This is why you leave stage diving to the professionals [COED Magazine]
Your life in graphs [College Humor]
There can never be enough Ron Swanson on the internet [The Chive]
Emma Watson wins… everything. Just everything [Moe Jackson]
More Erin Heatherton bikini pictures [Celebslam]
Miley Cyrus and an 82 year old stripper [The Blemish]
Chris Brown is getting another neck tattoo because he is so hardcore [Evil Beet Gossip]
Kim Kardashian thinks her fake marriage breaking up is just like an 18 year old girl with cancer [Amy Gindhouse]
Kate Middleton‘s job is to look at flowers and smile [Lainey Gossip]
Justin Bieber can’t drive either [Popcrush]
Lincoln has a teaser trailer [Film Drunk]
Kris Jenner showed her kids her new boobs [TooFab]
Ludacris is 35 [Celebrity VIP Lounge]
Using your 18 wheeler as a profile pic is the definition of class [okWeirdo]
Interviews with everyone from Resident Evil: Retribution [ComingSoon]
Photos and spoiler for Thor: The Dark World [Superhero Hype]

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Mel Gibson Called Winona Ryder An “Oven Dodger”

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I really, and I mean really, need a Mel Gibson soundboard. Us Magazine reports:

Back in the 90s, Winona Ryder was a huge star — who had a very unpleasant run-in with another huge star, Mel Gibson, at least a decade before he became notorious for making racist, offensive remarks on record. “I remember, like, fifteen years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And [Gibson] was really drunk,” Ryder, 39, tells the January GQ of the controversial actor, 54. “I was with my friend, who’s gay. [Gibson] made a really horrible gay joke. And somehow it came up that I was Jewish. He said something about ‘oven dodgers,’ but I didn’t get it,” Ryder admits of the slur, an ugly reference to the Holocaust. “I’d never heard that before. It was just this weird, weird moment. I was like, ‘He’s anti-Semitic and he’s homophobic.’ No one believed me!”

Mel Gibson is a racist, unhinged lunatic filled with seething hatred and rage, but goddamn if he can’t tell a joke. I wish I could take him to a homeless shelter of Russian women and gay Jews and this site would write itself for a year.

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Winona Ryder is Trustworthy

Winona Ryder was lent a $164,000 diamond-encrusted bracelet by the Italian jeweler, Bulgari, to attend the Marie Claire Prix de la Mode 2008 Awards in Madrid last month, and guess what? The bracelet never made it back. The Sun reports:

“The actress, 37, said she put the diamond-encrusted bracelet and ring in an envelope and handed them to front desk staff at her Madrid hotel, according to French magazine Voici. But the mag claims CCTV does not show Ryder — convicted of shoplifting in 2002 — handing over the envelope. The jeweller Bulgari is said to be urgently trying to solve the mystery. Last night a spokeswoman confirmed jewels were loaned to Marie Claire magazine for celebs to wear to a party on Sunday. But when asked if Ryder had failed to return her gems, she refused to comment. Ryder was not available for comment last night. Her spokesman refused to return calls and emails.”

Of course Winona stole that shit. She’s a klepto, that’s what she does. She can’t control herself around the discount rack with cameras pointed at her, what did you think she was gonna do when you handed her free diamonds. It’s like inviting Jeffrey Dahmer to your party then being surprised when somebody winds up missing their head. I hate to be a prick here, but this whole thing is kinda your own fault.

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Winona Ryder is Shoplifting Again

In 2002, Winona Ryder was convicted of shoplifting after she was caught on camera stealing $6,000 worth of clothing from Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. She was later sentenced to three years probation and 480 hours of community service, but most importantly, she was taught a valuable lesson. Oh, wait. Never mind. The Daily Mail reports:

…the Girl Interrupted star recently set off the security alarm at Hollywood CVC Pharmacy after making several purchases…when she left the store, she set off an alarm that drew the attention of a security guard. A store employee is quoted as saying: “Winona had a bag of stuff, but she set off the theft alarm when she left the store. “When a security guard stopped her, he found make-up she had not paid for.” And when she was asked about the make-up, Winona answered: “I don’t know how that happened.” The store employee added: “We took unpaid items back and she left the store.”

Eh, whatever. Stealing is fun for everybody. Just ask the Native Americans. Sure their land and way of life is gone, but have you seen their slot machines? I have to admit, they’re pretty moving.

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Winona Ryder Has a Sex Scene

This was out yesterday but a lot of people think Winona Ryder is hot, so here’s her “sex scene” from Sex and Death 101. Breaking news: It’s boring. It’s like watching a video of your grandparents having sex except with way less sexual tension.

One of these is NSFW:

Hey, isn’t her rack supposed to be bigger that this? I thought that was kinda the whole point of Winona Ryder.

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