The NFL season basically kicks off today #NeverForget. So be sure to stand in your living room during the National Anthem or you run the risk of somebody calling you unpatriotic on Twitter. Or you might lose your endorsements. Or you can just complain that players are kneeling while you’re sitting on the couch. This is America, nobody can tell you what to do. How awesome is that! Anyway, here’s this installment of the Weekend Dump. It will make America great again or something maybe.
Hey, people. How’s your weekend so far? Good, good. Ok, enough about you, here’s the latest Weekend Dump. The banner pic is of Katie Ledecky. Amanda Waller started a file on her on Friday. Maybe Thursday. The rest of the pics are of other people exponentially lesser talent. That’s why Scott Disick is last. Enjoy. See you cool kids tomorrow.
Sup. It’s the Weekend Dump. We like these. So here’s Jessica Lowndes with the most pretend unintentional thirst trap on Instagram this weekend, Cara Delevingne realizing she’s getting a Razzie, Ariel Winter thinking she found goos selfie light, and a 50 Cent and Vern Troyer picture. The last one might be the greatest thing you see all day.
We can’t seem to go a weekend now without realizing the world is probably on it’s final season before it gets cancelled, but here’s your Weekend Dump anyway. It includes a lot of the things that make the world great. Those things are mostly boobs. There’s also a pic of Jake Gyllenhaal, but I have no idea what he’s doing. I assume it’s drugs.
Your Facebook and Twitter might be filled EU and #Brexit experts still on their parents’ data plan that they just used to Google those two thing, but that’s ok! Your Weekend Dump is here! How exciting! Not sure how it happened, but these pics took an oral fixation turn. Sorry to do that to you on a Sunday when Jesus may be watching.
Hey there, sexy readers. We have a bunch of stuff to cover tomorrow, so here’s the Weekend Dump to catch us up on butts until then. It’s also Father’s Day, so call your dad, say a little something for your dad who isn’t here, call the man who stepped up when your biological didn’t bother, or call your mom who did it without any help. Also, Game 7 and The Bastard Bowl are both on tonight. Today is a great day.
Well, fuck. It’s been a horrific 48 hours for the people of Orlando, because of the two things America holds most dear: guns and religion (religion’s always a close 2nd). So if you don’t want to read Bernie Sanders calling out Islamophobia while voting against background checks, and if you don’t want to read the GOP offering “thoughts and prayers” to the victims they’d be attempting marginalize if they were alive, and if you don’t want to read Trump supporters rejoice that the shooter wasn’t one of them even though he shot up a gay club on Latin night, here’s the Weekend Dump with a lot of pictures of butts. Let’s all cling to that instead.
The Pulse shooter has been identified as Omar Mateen. Mateen was a 29-year old man born in Florida who believed the other invisible man in sky who wants his followers to kill gays with guns instead of legislation. Religion strikes again.
Hey. This is your Weekend Dump, because it’s the weekend. That’s how I picked the name. Muhammad Ali died. I don’t want to sound dumber than I usually do by attempting to pay tribute to the man, but I understand that certain age groups don’t think stuff was accomplished before they were born. If Ali’s impact on the world or legacy isn’t something you feel like learning, at least appreciate the fact that even Donald Trump and your uncle who thinks stem cells kill actual babies, are mourning the loss of a cocky, black Muslim who told the American government to go fuck itself when they ordered him to go kill yet another country full of poor, brown people until they agreed democracy was #1. Now imagine that happening in 2016. Your phone would suicide bomb itself in your hand if you thought about getting on Facebook.
btw spoiler alert: South Vietnam became part of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam a year after we left. Mostly because America did what it always does, leaves the people they say they’ve come to help to fend for themselves when America feels like it’s taking too long to get what they came for. That’s kind of America’s thing. Maybe Ali could have single-handedly stopped all that and Vietnam would’ve had their first McDonald’s way before 2014. Who’s to say!
Hey, dawg. It’s Memorial Day Weekend and here’s your Weekend Dump. I hope your weekend consists of a grill, friends and/or family, and you not getting drunk and being found floating face down in a lake on Tuesday. That scenario would not be ideal. I’ll being seeing you bright and early tomorrow, so don’t make me come looking for you. We’re gonna get into that Johnny Depp/Amber Heard mess first thing, because it’s the right thing to do. Unlike floating in an inner tube with a bunch of Fireball. Stop drinking that shit. You’re better than that.
We have a lot of stuff to get into tomorrow, but until then, here’s the Weekend Dump to tie you over. I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s a lot of pictures from Cannes. A chicks who post stuff on Instagram. I assume they also do other things as well. I’ll have to research that further. Demi Rose could be editing spatial-resolution images of Mercury she took right now for all we know.
Are you not entertained?
[ banner pic = Instagram ]