President’s Day Dump 02.20.2017

Floaties on floaties BTS w/ @partylikejzl shoot

A post shared by Sara Underwood (@saraunderwood) on

 

Hey, it’s President’s Day, so we’re doing a special Weekend Dump you can look at instead of watch Trump’s parade float be carried by immigrants or watch him declare martial law because of a terrorist attack that happened in Narnia or whatever he has planned for today.

 

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Monday Dump 01.30.2017

Body is a Wonderland

A photo posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

 

Man, this Trump presidency thing is going great, isn’t it? Like, I really can’t protest every weekend for the next four years, y’all. Somebody need to pull my name out of the protest hat and let me know what month I get, because this is exhausting. I’m thinking about buying stock in Sharpies, though. Something good has to come from this. I just looked on Facebook and tried to find the #AllLivesMatter crowd, but I guess they’re busy. But I did find a lot of people with beards and non-prescription glasses being reactionary and with memes. Always a good time. Anyway, here’s the Weekend Dump, which will now be the Monday Dump, because Monday’s the next four years are gonna be rough. You deserve a treat.

 

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MLK Day Dump 01.16.2017

chaos

A photo posted by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

 

I’m doing the Weekend Dump on MLK Day, because it’s technically a holiday. It should be a good time. It’s a good day for your conservative friends to post Martin Luther King, Jr. quotes without any context or understanding, and telling you that he never looted, rioted, or burned anything down even though their grandparents made his life and cause a living hell, put him in jail, then killed him anyway. Here’s some pictures to look at while you think of some flame Facebook comments. I have a dream that you’ll do me proud.

 

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Weekend Dump 12.04.2016

Good day, friends. It’s Weekend Dump time. Since we last talked, a tornado touched down four blocks from me, Donald Trump had another Twitter meltdown because I think he’s the only one who watches SNL, and my dog ate a dead bird. Good times. It’s also been raining for three days. Oh, and the Panthers play in Seattle tonight. I feel if I watch that I’d just be continuing this cycle. Let’s break it. Break it with me, won’t you? Look at these pictures. Some have butts and stuff.

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Weekend Dump 10.06.2016

 

Hey there, happy people. It’s Weekend Dump time. We’re two days from the election, so the panic attacks disguised as Facebook statuses should be filling your wall pretty nicely about now. I won’t do that to you. I’ll give you titties and butts instead. Feel free to write me in on Tuesday. I have some pretty good ideas. Mostly about burritos.
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Weekend Dump 10.23.2016

Another weekend is upon us friends, so that means another Weekend Dump to distract you from whatever you need to be distracted from today. So, what’s new? Oh, the Chicago Cubs are going to the World Series. Of course they are. Its 2016 and nothing makes sense. Good for them. I know I was a little upset last Sunday, but I’m guaranteeing a Carolina Panthers victory today. I say that because they’re on a bye. They suck. Anyway, here’s a bunch of pics of people you might like and some you might not like. There’s also a pic of Ron Pearlman walking his tiny ass dog.

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Weekend Dump 10.16.2016

 

I’m putting up this week’s Weekend Dump now so I can prepare myself for the Panthers/Saints game at 1 today. That’ll probably involve drinking until I’m numb to the pain that the Panthers are 1-4 right now. I was all excited for fall and now this bullshit. Maybe the GM will realize that offensive tackle is a position on the team at some point. If Cam Newton was 50 pounds lighter, he’d be retired by now. Somebody should also mention defensive and free safety as well, but I wouldn’t want to throw too much at him at once. And replacing Josh Norman will three rookie corners was a great idea, I guess. And Jonathan Stewart is 29 and hurt more than Taylor Swift’s feelings. Maybe look at that. And what happened to Mike Tolbert? He’s also on the team, maybe put him on the field? Just throwing stuff out here. Oh, and Devin Funchess has hands, maybe call a play where Cam puts the football in them. Christ. Sorry guys, I had to get that out. Carry on with all these pictures and stuff. This isn’t football related, but Jessica Lowndes is hot as hell. I feel I should mention that as well.

 

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Weekend Dump 10.02.2016
Weekend Dump 10.02.2016




Blah bah blah here’s this week’s Weekend Dump, but how was your weekend? Safe to say it was better than Trump’s. My God. What was that all about? I’ve tried to Google what drug I need to take to understand his campaign’s spin, but I don’t think it’s been made yet. Or maybe it’s in Mt Dew. Either way, it’s probably Obama’s fault. Really can’t blame Trump for trying to be President, though. Looks like it’s the only way he can get out of all this shit. Hopefully during his State of The Union addresses he can recommend more sex tape we haven’t seen yet. I would be super helpful for my brand.


Also, Sara Underwood‘s not even pretending anymore. May angels continue to envelope her in their warm embrace.

When your pants are soaked and you can’t get them back on, you make do (from my snapchat SJUnderwood)

A video posted by Sara Underwood (@saraunderwood) on

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