Remember Victoria Jackson from SNL? No? Maybe? Well she ran for office and she’s insane, so of course she’s a member of the Tea Party and a Libertarian. Libertarianism is so great that no country in the world uses it as its form of government. Because it’s so great. Much like socialism (yay, we’re all one! your individual rights don’t really matter! government is great! let’s all be mindless drones! ), libertarianism (yay, I’m the greatest! And so are you! The government sucks! let’s break down all social bonds and all be cruel, indulgent, selfish bastards!) sounds like a great idea in theory, but completely collapses on itself if you happen to take a cursory glance at what each believe. Libertarians are all about “liberty” and personal property rights, but how literally do they want to take that belief? Because, follow along here, the government you oppose and hate are the reason you own property in the first place? No? Then if the rightful owners of land should be free from government interference, then pack up your shit, because the Native Americans indigenous to your neighborhood have a cool new place to build a casino. Wanna decentralize and make everything unregulated? Cool. Let’s play the Monopoly game and pay Netflix $200 a month to watch Orange Is The New Black. And I don’t even wanna talk about the mortality rate that will be worst than Gaza because you punish the kids of parents who are too stupid to buy a condom. Also, the free market can’t correct pollution, dumbasses. Also, happy Friday! Love you!