Vern Teddy Troyer Bear

For Celebrity Big Brother in the UK, they made Vern Troyer dress up like a teddy bear and eat a tiny pot full of honey, which – for him – was a average-sized pot of honey. The Daily Mail article that outlines the various “tasks” assigned to “celebrities” continues the bright tradition of The Daily Mail to make news out of nothing:

For their task, Coolio and Tommy Sheridan were made to dress as toy cars and file through a car wash. They stood looking sad and resigned as they were showered in soap suds and dirty water.

Coolio later caused uproar in the house after baiting Michelle and Ulrika and telling them he wanted them to leave the house.

The pair apologised to each other and tried to seal the reconciliation with a hug, but Coolio’s car costume got in the way.


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If You Like It, Then You Should Have Put A Link On It.

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Vern Troyer got wasted for his 40th Birthday, then put on a sailor hat and rode his buddy around. [TMZ] Dunken Vern will answer your questions this Sunday. Comment it up, people.

Meryl Streep is Julia Child, which might be confusing because one is dead and the other was in Mama Mia, a movie that made me wish I was dead.[Just Jared]

The Kardashian Sisters all looked the same on New Years Eve, which was great news for fugly Khloe, and a horrible down-grade for Kim. [Bastardly]

Kathy Griffin won’t come to where you work and knock the dicks out of your mouth. And she said that standing next to Anderson Cooper. [DListed]

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are so boring, they probably went to a Farmer’s Market every weekend this year. This is where the punchline would be if that was a joke. [Socialite’s Life]

Kate Bosworth gets the honor of first nipple-pics of 2009. Congratulations. Now don’t make another Superman movie, because you helped it suck. [Egotastic]

I finally found something scarier than clowns: celebrity clowns. [City Rag]

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Mini-Me Isn’t Golfing

This isn’t Verne Troyer at the Ryan Sheckler X Games Celebrity Skins Classic. This is a shorter, whiter Tiger Woods. Tiger is a T-1000 constructed of mimetic poly-alloy. He touched Verne Troyer before this tournament and then proceeded to shame everyone else who played. Afterward, he tried to hit on a group of Swedish bikini models. When that didn’t work out, he turned back into Tiger Woods and spent the evening flossing his teeth with blonde hair and G-strings.

Photos: Splash

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Verne Troyer is Suing

Verne Troyer filed a $20 million lawsuit against TMZ for posting a portion of his sex tape. Troyer is asking for attorneys’ fees and an injunction prohibiting further circulation of the video. He is also claiming violation of privacy, copyright infringement, trademark infringement, violation of right to publicity and misappropriation of name and likeness. TMZ reports:

In the suit, filed Thursday in U.S. District Court in downtown L.A., Troyer claims TMZ violated his privacy rights and infringed on his copyright and trademark by running portions of the tape on TMZ TV and He also alleges TMZ violated his right of publicity and misappropriated his name and likeness. Troyer says the tape was stolen and ended up in the hands of Kevin Blatt, the guy who distributed “One Night in Paris.” Blatt is also named as a defendant.”

It’s unclear why Verne Troyer is so pissed, because this tape proves he actually has sex. That probably can’t hurt. When he wasn’t doing movies, I assumed he lived in a forest cottage and worked in a diamond mine.

Ranae Shrider (the girl(?) in his sex tape):

Photos: Splash

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Mini-Me Has a Sex Tape

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This looks like The Crying Game 2. Because the original wasn’t fucked up enough. I’d like to thank Verne Troyer, his lizard tongue, and his … partner … for my anticipated nightmares tonight. I feel like I’m 8 years old again and just saw Poltergeist for the first time. So now I’ll sleep with the light on for a month, have Mommy come over and check the closet for monsters before I go to sleep, and will have a 6 foot “safe zone” on the perimeter of my bed which I’ll jump over and around so whatever lurks beneath the bed won’t pull me underneath it and try to kill me. Thanks again, Mini-Me.

Click here for TMZ’s short clip of the full video that SugarDVD is trying to sell for 100 grand.

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