Uma Thurman Gave Her Kid A Stupid Name



Celebrities are stupid, and they get exponentially stupid when they have kids and have to pick out names. With that in mind, Uma Thurman gave birth to a girl on July 15th but just released the name yesterday. Probably because it took that long to write it out. Us Magazine reports:

“I would like to announce Uma and Arki’s daughter’s name for the first time officially: Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson, better known to family and friends as Luna,” the actress’ rep Gabrielle Kachman tells Us Weekly.

“Better known as Luna”? Where the fuck do we get “Luna” from that? Shoudn’t she be better known as “RAAAFT-B”? Maybe not. That sounds like the lifeboat they put black people on when the Titanic sank.

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Uma Thurman is Skinny Dipping



The Sun is breaking the news today that if you’re a billionaire French financier, you can take famous Hollywood ass to Italy and skinny dip with it. Can you believe it?!

Uma Thurman couldn’t resist going for a naughty moonlight swim with her lucky fiance on their Italian holiday. The topless Kill Bill star was pictured kissing Arki Busson as they cooled off in the water.”

Wow, this Arki Busson guy and I have a lot in common. I’ve ordered the Tour of Italy many times. It has free bread sticks!

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Uma Thurman is Engaged



After dating for a year, Uman Thurman and Swiss financier and multi-millionaire, Arpad “Arki” Busson, are engaged. People reports:

In return for saying yes, the actress received some serious sparkle: an 8-plus carat center stone surrounded by 20 smaller stones. “It’s the most beautiful piece I’ve ever seen,” says a close source of the diamond ring. “Arki did a wonderful job.”…It would be the third marriage for Thurman, who has a son and daughter with ex Ethan Hawke, whom she divorced in 2003. Her marriage to Gary Oldman ended in 1992. Busson has two sons with former supermodel Elle Macpherson, from whom he split in 2005.”

I know society likes to look down on women marrying multi-millionaires who give them 8-carat diamond rings, but sometimes you cannot stop the machinations of the heart. When will people learn that you cannot stop true love!

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Uma Thurman Has Nipples



Uma Thurman is another one of those actresses that Hollywood tries to convince you is “uniquely beautiful,” but every time you see her she looks like a drag queen. So I guess it helped that she decided to wear a sheer dress and no bra to the Swarovski Fashion Rocks concert last night. Big tits always do the trick. Just like ether.

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