Khloe Kardashian Is Doing Great, Just Great
Khloe Kardashian Is Doing Great, Just Great

 

Yesterday, we all learned that Khloe Kardashian‘s baby daddy, Tristan Thompson, was banging everything with a vagina who isn’t Khloe Kardashian.  Maybe it’s because he realized she looks like a trans woman. Or maybe not. Who am I to know the heart of another? Anyway, Khloe seems to be taking it well.

A source close to the Kardashian family said pregnant Khloé, who is due to give birth to their daughter any day now, “was devastated when she saw the pictures of Tristan with that girl, she went absolutely ballistic at him. She is not only hurt, she is humiliated and worried for their child. How could he do this, and so publicly, when their baby daughter could arrive within a week?”

Khloe lives in Cleveland with Thompson now, but Kris Jenner just flew out there, so you know how this going to end.

“The goal is to get Khloé out of there as fast as they can without jeopardizing the safety of the baby after she’s arrived,” a source told PEOPLE. “Khloé just wants to be home.”

As soon as the baby comes out, Kris Jenner is gonna have Tristan Thompson immediately paying insane child support payments to save up for the child’s complete body plastic surgery procedure when she turns 15. That shit ain’t cheap. I assume the Kardashian/Jenner family have a Groupon by now.  But if there’s anybody who totally devastated by this, it’s Kim Kardashian. She’s so distraught that her sister was betrayed that she’s posting bikini pics on Instagram. Just look at the sadness in her eyes. It’s truly painful to see.

 

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KONG MATE CHEAT ALSO HAVE SEX TAPE
KONG MATE CHEAT ALSO HAVE SEX TAPE

 

Yesterday, Khloe Kardashian posted this sweet and not staged at all pic of herself with Tristan Thompson (Black? Check. Average NBA player that her family fetishizes? Check.) on Instagram to celebrate the birth of their daughter who could pop out any time now. That’s wonderful. But what you might not know is that Khloe Kardashian is pregnant by Tristan Thompson because in 2016 Tristan Thompson cheated on his then pregnant girlfriend, Jordan Craig, with Khloe Kardashian then left Jordan Craig to be with Khloe Kardashian before his baby with Jordan Craig was born. Khloe Kardashian was quoted at that time saying that she was just “having fun” and didn’t “want any drama.” This concludes my dramatic irony part of the post, because guess what? You’re really not gonna believe this. Khloe Kardashian is pregnant and Tristan Thompson is cheating on her with multiple women. If only she had some sort of sign before she got pregnant.

 

Apparently Tristan Thompson was banging an IG model (isn’t it always IG models?) all last weekend in NYC, and now she really wants you to know it was her.

A woman claiming she spent the night with Tristan Thompson in NYC this weekend posted and quickly deleted a sex tape and a number of raunchy text messages allegedly with the NBA All-Star. The woman — who goes by @ms.stephaniee_ on Instagram — claims she’s the one who was seen in a video Saturday night walking into the Manhattan Four Seasons with Tristan. Tuesday night she filled her IG story alleged texts from Tristan and a video of a couple having sex … which she claims is her and Tristan. Neither of their faces is visible in the short clip. One of the alleged texts from Tristan read, “If I was there I would grab u while u try to walk away from me than I would pull ya hair and kiss you than rip ya clothes off and lay u down while I suck ya p**** and say sorry.”

The chick is supposedly Lani Blair. I guess you could rightfully stick with the “all men are trash” thing, and nobody would argue, but America really does have an epidemic of whores trying to cash out with famous, rich dudes. Can’t really blame them. What’s the point of having a vagina if it can’t be monetized? You should have to find the algorithm that works best for you and for your vagina. Sometimes that means banging a dude with a pregnant girlfriend at home.

 

TMZ also has a surveillance video footage of Tristan Thompson at a hookah lounge in Washington, D.C. hooking up with two chicks at once. This is obviously wrong, but let’s not pretend these chicks don’t watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. They have kept up and now who Tristan Thompson is. Also, I assume that any of the three women we’ve mentioned her are hotter, younger, and less pregnant than Khloe, so we really don’t need senate committee hearings to find out why he cheated. I really don’t feel bad or sorry for anyone in this story, so I’ll just end this post now. Drink one for Lamar Odom later today.

 

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