Tracy Morgan Has Been Upgraded
Tracy Morgan Has Been Upgraded

 

Much like the couch I sold on Craiglist, Tracy Morgan is now listed as being in "fair condition".

Tracy Morgan is on the mend. His rep says the actor and comedian has been "upgraded to fair condition, which is a great improvement." The rep adds more good news: "His personality is certainly starting to come back as well."

All of this happened because a dude with road rage on his way to Wal-Mart fell asleep at the wheel. Target should probably use this in their ads.

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Cool Tweet, Bro
Cool Tweet, Bro

 

So the truck driver who fell asleep at the wheel causing him to lose control and kill one person and critically injure Tracy Morgan and several others is on Twitter, and like most people, he posted something dumb that he probably wishes he could take back now. Mostly saying that he would hit somebody. Or that he was going to Wal-Mart.

 

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Tracy Morgan Is In Critical Condition
Tracy Morgan Is In Critical Condition

 

One person is dead and several people have been left critically injured after the driver of a tractor trailer fell asleep at wheel and crashed into Tracy Morgan's tour limo bus early Saturday morning in New Jersey. Tracy Morgan has been in the hospital ever since, and is expected to remain there for several weeks.

Tracy Morgan is still in critical condition with several broken bones … and doctors expect him to remain hospitalized for several weeks. Tracy's rep tells TMZ the comedian has been more responsive today … but sustained a number of injuries including a broken femur, a broken nose and several broken ribs. We're told he's currently recovering after having surgery earlier today on the broken leg. Tracy's rep adds, "His family is tremendously overwhelmed and appreciative of the outpouring of love and support from his fans."

30 Rock is one of my favorite shows of all time, and that's in large part due to Tracy Morgan, so yeah, this sucks. But what doesn't suck is the set he's probably doing in the hospital right now while fucked up on morphine. I hope the hospital administration stafff have the foresight to record this as a live album.

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Tracy Morgan Says He’s Khloe Kardashian’s Father


I can’t help it. I love Tracy Morgan. Every time he opens his mouth it’s just insane ramblings, but he’s fucking hilarious. Like last night on Conan. I don’t want to give anything away, but Charlton Heston. But since we’re talking, could you please ask your mom to stop texting me? What’s her deal, man?

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Tracy Morgan Can’t Joke About Anything Now



Since groups who are discriminated against have no influence and are cursed to live in hiding for fear of their lives, Tracy Morgan has spent the last month apologizing to whiny fags after GLAAD and LBGT touched cock rings and combined their gay power to turn him into acceptance and tolerance zombie for his joke during a Nashville show. Now, he’s under fire again for saying the word “retarded”. You know, because retarded people might get offended if they hear this while they’re drooling and chasing a butterfly or getting a medal for finishing 23rd in a 40-yard dash. Us Magazine reports:

Only weeks after profusely apologizing to the LGBT community for his homophobic rant at a stand-up performance in Nashville, he managed to offend another group of people: the mentally disabled. “Don’t ever mess with women who have retarded kids,” Morgan, 42, said Saturday night at a performance in New York City, as reported by the New York Times. As groans of “uh-oh” were heard in the crowd, he continued, “Them young retarded males is strong. They’re strong like chimps.

Tracy should really change up his act to make it funnier. Maybe Tracy can talk about the differences between white people and black people (LOL black people like chicken! And white people are uptight!). Or maybe he can find a magic amulet and turn himself into a woman so he can make jokes about his period (omg! I bleed for five days and don’t die! haha isn’t that funny??!) Or maybe he can talk about how his cat thinks he’s human. Or maybe he can say how he just flew in from NYC and boy are his arms tired! Haha, that one always kills!!

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Tracy Morgan Is Still Apologizing. At A Press Conference This Time.


After first apologizing for telling a joke during a standup act in Nashville, Tracy Morgan was in Nashville today where GLAAD had him firmly by the balls (figuratively, just fyi) Popeater reports:
Tracy Morgan returned to Nashville on Tuesday to deliver an apology to gay advocacy groups and fans offended by his homophobic comments made at a stand-up routine earlier this month. Sitting at a GLAAD-sponsored panel table with Kevin Rogers, the man who sparked the controversy with a Facebook post, the ’30 Rock’ star tried to make amends for among other things, saying that he would “stab” his son if he were gay. “I want to apologize to Kevin and people that were at the show for bummin’ em out,” Morgan began at the event held by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. “I want to apologize to my friends and my family and my fans and everyone in every community that were offended with this. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean it.”

(more…)

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Tracy Morgan Should Thank David Tyree



Former New York Giants wide receiver, David Tyree, made one of the greatest clutch catches in the history of the NFL during Super Bowl XLII. I guess now we know why. He thought it was a gay marriage bill. He could not let it pass. TMZ reports:

During the interview, Tyree is asked about the push to legalize gay marriage in the United States — and says if it happens, “This will be the beginning of our country sliding toward … it’s a strong word, but anarchy.” To reinforce his point, Tyree says, “You can’t teach something that you don’t have … so two men will never be able to show a woman how to be a woman.” And the kicker, Tyree — who’s black — says, “How can marriage be marriage for thousands of years and now all the sudden because a minority, an influential minority, has a push or agenda … and totally reshapes something that was not founded in our country.”

He’s right because Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Iowa, and Connecticut are all under martial law because of the rioting in the streets. Maybe he should go preach there instead. Or maybe he should go back to smoking that half pound of weed he was arrested for 2004. Maybe he’ll get high and realize he’s black and has four kids out of wedlock at some point.

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Tracy Morgan Is Really, Really Sorry



Hey, remember that rant Tracy Morgan had that pissed off all those gays? He didn’t mean it. TMZ reports:

Tracy Morgan just issued an apology for the homophobic “jokes” he told during a performance in Nashville last Friday — saying he “went too far” and his act was “not funny in any context.” In the statement, which Morgan sent to several gay rights groups, the comic says, “I want to apologize to my fans and the gay & lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville.” He adds, “I’m not a hateful person and don’t condone any kind of violence against others.” “While I am an equal opportunity jokester, and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context.As TMZ previously reported, Morgan ignited a firestorm for the homophobic content in his act — in which he said he would stab his son if he acted gay.

Of course it wasn’t funny in any context. It’s Tracy Morgan. The most offensive part of his rant was the fact that anyone paid through the nose to see that shit. That said, I do believe that he didn’t mean it. He’s black, and black guys are pretty familiar with prison. Of course he’s not actually going to stab his gay son, because he knows damn well that he’d just become another dude’s gay son later.

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Tracy Morgan Would Kill His Gay Son (Not Really)



Kevin Rogers, a gay dude in the audience of a Tracy Morgan show in Nashville last week, is now the hero of the gay community because he shined a light on the comedian’s secret plot to wipe all gays from the face of the Earth. Chicago Pride reports:

A man who was in the audience at a recent Tracy Morgan show in Nashville said that the well-known comedian and 30 Rock actor went berserk when talking about how he’d treat a gay son: ‘I’d kill him.’ Audience member Kevin Rogers, who is gay, wrote about the June 3 show on Facebook: “I’ve been a big fan of his since his days at SNL. The show was your typical hysterical [expletive-laden] humor… I have to say it was hilarious and well worth at least 40% of the $86 we spent per ticket to see him. I figured at some point the gay jokes would fly and I’m well prepared for a good ribbing of straight gay humor,” Rogers wrote. However, Rogers said that this didn’t feel like humor; Morgan’s whole demeanor changed when he started in on the gay jokes and that he seemed “truly filled with hate against us.” “He said if his son that was gay he better come home and talk to him like a man and not [he mimicked a gay, high pitched voice] or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N (one word I refuse to use) to death,” Rogers wrote. “Tracy then said he didn’t fucking care if he pissed off some gays, because if they can take a [expletive] dick up their ass… they can take a [expletive] joke. Rogers said that of the 2,000 people in the audience at the Rhyman Auditorium, about a dozen people walked out. According to Rogers, Morgan continued his homophobic rant saying Barack Obama needed to ‘man up’ and stop speaking out for gay rights.

And as expected, a gay right group wants a “full explanation and apology”. I know! This must have been really bad, because they never do that!

Truth Wins Out Social Media Director Evan Hurst said that if these allegations are true, Morgan went too far. “Comedians have long pushed the envelope in tackling controversial subjects,” he said.Indeed, it’s part of their job description, and good comedians are able to do this and keep everybody laughing at the same time. However, abject hatred directed at vulnerable kids is not comedy, by anyone’s definition. If these reports are true, we expect a full explanation and apology.” The group also called on 30 Rock producer and star Tina Fey, who is a gay rights ally, to ‘forthrightly condemn any sort of anti-gay hatred’.

Oh, Jesus. Here we go. Ok, look gays, let’s put our feathered pens and scented stationary down and put our logic caps on for a second. What’s more probable, that Tracy Morgan would stab his own son to death for being gay or that he was just telling a fucking joke? No, you’re right. He must want to kill all gay people including his own flesh and blood because he said it live on stage during a comedy show. Here’s the thing, if you pay to go see a comedy show and don’t expect to get a offended at least once, maybe your money would be better spent elsewhere. Like maybe a ticket to a unicorn farm where people don’t have differing opinions and straight and gay people skip hand and hand and slide down rainbows of acceptance and happiness. Or you can look up Reality Land on Google Maps. If your asshole tightened up, I’d say relax it and chill the hell out. But, really, who are we kidding? We all know that can’t happen.

Note: Did anybody else pick up on the fact the gay guy said, ” I’m well prepared for a good ribbing”? Haha, I see what you did there gay guy!

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