Tomi Lahren Is Being Oppressed
Tomi Lahren Is Being Oppressed

 

In this, THE AGE OF WOKENESS, everybody is being wired to be triggered at every turn, but people saying words have never really bothered me. Tomi Lahren doesn’t really bother me, because she was basically a paid troll who got fired for having a mind of her own on a specific issue. Now she wants all her social media accounts back from the bitches at The Blaze so she can’t keep saying words.

“Let me go. Let me move on,” Lahren said, during an appearance on Nightline. “I’m deeply hurt by what has happened, I’m disappointed in what has happened. But if this is the way that it is, let’s just part ways, cleanly.” “I just want to work and have the freedom to put my voice out there and I want to interact with my fans and my followers, that’s all I want out of this,” she added. “It’s my job, this is my life. Without that, I feel lost. When your outlet is taken away from you, when your catharsis is stripped from you and you don’t understand why and you’re so disappointed and you’re so blindsided by it—it hurts.”

I literally agree with nothing that comes out of her mouth except the pro-choice thing, but I like how losing the ability to tweet and Facebook has turned her into Moses and MLK. But I also understand she’s in weird and vulnerable place right now and that might mean she’s be open to banging a brown guy. Hit me up, boo. You can talk all you want into the pillow if you catch my meaning. I feel that you do.

 

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Tomi Lahren Got Fired

 

Last week Tomi Lahren got “suspended” from The Blaze for saying on national television that women should have autonomy over their own bodies. Obviously, that’s a fireable offense at a place run by a conservative old white dude. This weekend they fired my hot, grudge fuck fantasy boo.

Tomi Lahren won’t be appearing on Glenn Beck’s multiplatform network, TheBlaze, anymore. Sources say Lahren — who was suspended last week after flip-flopping on abortion and declaring herself pro-choice — has been banned permanently. “Glenn is reminding the world of his conservative principles by sidelining Tomi after she insulted conservatives by calling them hypocrites,” one Beck insider told me.

Yes. Calling conservatives hypocrites is what got her fired. Yeah, ok. But it is great to see that conservatives and liberals have a lot in common. Like taking money out of anyone’s wallet who doesn’t believe every issue of their political ideology works for every single person on the planet. It’s almost like every human has their own mind and priorities. Weird. I have my own mind and one of my priorities is to have unprotected sex with Tomi Lahren then supporting her decision to have an abortion. This is something I firmly believe in, so I feel we should practice a few times.

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Tomi Lahren Got Suspended From The Blaze For Being Pro-Choice
Tomi Lahren Got Suspended From The Blaze For Being Pro-Choice

 

Much like all of Twitter aspires to be, Tomi Lahren is a paid professional troll who only gets attention because my fellow liberals love to set outrage hose to self-righteous indignation and blast everything with the blood of a Slate article. Last Friday, the went on The View and said she was pro-choice. She works for The Blaze, so obviously that’s heresy and they suspended her.

Leon Wolf, the managing editor of The Blaze, told CNNMoney only that “Tomi’s show will not be in production this week.” Reached by email late Monday, Lahren said she couldn’t address the matter. “Wish I could comment but I can’t,” she said.

After this happened, I hoped on Twitter and waited for the “support all women” Twitter takes, but lol that didn’t happen because you should only support women who agree with you politically on every single thing or they are harlots who should be shunned and forced sit in a corner to think about their white privilege or internalized misogyny or the show they like that uses coded racist music or whatever deem the moral high ground at the time. What you shouldn’t do, under any circumstances, is say “hey, she agrees on a topic I care about, maybe this is a chance to understand that everyone is different and won’t agree on everything all the time like I imagine in my peaceful liberal, Nordic utopia that I have planned for America right after I firebomb this Starbucks.” You shouldn’t do that. You should burn her alive at the stake for other things she said. It’s the only way we can come together as one. What you don’t want to do is find out what else you and Tomi Lahren have in common. Like, Tomi and Bernie Sanders. Both like to yell and hear themselves talk. Imagine the possibilities. Sidenote: My penis has no political affiliation, so knowing Tomi Lahren is pro-choice, make me happy for two reasons. How you doin, boo?

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