Miley Cyrus’ Parents Are Getting Divorced
Miley Cyrus’ Parents Are Getting Divorced


As you can see, being the only white lesbian member on the Twerk Team causes your father to disown you and cut off all communication, and apparently it causes your parents to get divorced. TMZ reports:

Billy Ray Cyrus is getting divorced … TMZ has learned. Billy Ray's wife, Tish Cyrus, is citing "irreconcilable differences" in her filing.  Her decision to pull the plug on the marriage comes 3 years after Billy Ray filed for divorce but dropped it in an attempt to work things out. Billy Ray and Tish have been married for 19 years and have 5 children, including, of course, Miley.  There's only one minor child left, Noah Cyrus, who is 13.  Tish is asking for full physical and legal custody, with visitation to Billy Ray. Tish is also asking for spousal support, and she wants him to pay her attorney's fees.  The date of separation is listed as TBD.

As you can tell from the blockquote, Tish seems like a very reasonable and accomodating person who only wants the best for her children and to remain civil with the man she was married to for 19 years. Hahaha jk I meant scrawled "ALL HIS MONEY AND KIDS BELONG TO ME" on one of Billy Ray's hundred dollar bills and gave it to her lawyer.

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Billy Ray Cyrus Is Emily Post

Mr. Manners and impending divorcee Billy Ray Cyrus got all huffy when asked about his split. Us Weekly reports:

The country star and father to Miley flipped out during a Friday radio interview on WCOL’s Woody and the Wake-Up Call — when host Woody Johnson asked about his headline-making split from Tish, his wife of 17 years.

“I have to ask you because you are a celebrity and we’ve all heard,” Johnson said. “Your marriage is going?”

Instantly flustered, Cyrus, 49, replied, “Oh man. You know what bud? Woody Johnson. Woody Johnson. God bless America, God bless our troops. Woody Johnson, look at you.”

As the “Achy Breaky Heart” singer cut the interview short and stormed off, Johnson tried to apologize.

“Oh I ain’t mad at you,” Cyrus claimed. “Have a good day, brother.”

Off-mic, Cyrus can be heard sniping, “It’s very rude.”


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Miley Cyrus’ Mom Had Sex With Bret Michaels

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On October 27, it was announced that Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus were divorcing after 17 years of marriage. This came as a shock to most people, you know, most people except Bret Michaels’ penis. Us Weekly reports:

The reason Miley Cyrus’ parents are splitting after 17 years of marriage: Mom Tish had an affair with rocker Bret Michaels, reports the new Us Weekly (on newsstands Wednesday). When Billy Ray learned of it – as well as at least one other fling – he filed for divorce Oct. 27, sources tell Us Weekly. Michaels, 47, “became close to the entire family” this past February when he and Miley released the racy duet “Nothing to Lose,” an insider tells Us Weekly. He and Tish, 43, soon began carrying on an on-the-sly romance, sources tell Us Weekly. Tish was seen at Michaels’ Feb. 28 show at the Key Club in L.A., and he had once asked her production company‚Äôs help to adapt his book, Roses & Thorns, into a movie. “Billy Ray was completely unaware of what was going on,” the source says of the “Achy Breaky Heart” crooner, who is seeking joint custody of their three minor children, Miley (who turns 18 Nov. 23), Braison, 16, and Noah, 10. (They have three older children from previous relationships.) Though a rep for Michaels refutes the allegations, telling Us Weekly, “There has never been an affair or a fling,” and a rep for Tish also denies the dalliance, the Cyrus source insists, “It was a professional relationship that turned into something more.”

If I was married to Billy Ray Cyrus for 17 years, I would have killed myself by now, but I’m not understanding how a vagina can get wet for a dude in a bandanna who might have a brain hemorrhage or a stroke if he hears a loud noise. Unless she’s always wanted to get fucked on top of a crash cart, I don’t see how this is an upgrade.

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