Tilda Swinton Is Sleeping In A Glass Box At The NYC Museum Of Modern Art



Since rich, white people are weird and do dumb shit like swim with sharks and parachute from outer space to feel alive, Tilda Swinton is sleeping in a glass box for a month at The Museum of Modern Art because it’s apparently “performance art”. New York Daily News reports:

Her public napping is part of a performance art piece titled “The Maybe,” which she debuted in 1995 at London’s Serpentine Gallery. She later repeated the work in the Museo Barraco in Rome. Swinton will return to the glass case several times to appear in the installation, but the exhibition dates remain a mystery even to MoMA employees. “Museum staff doesn’t know she’s coming until the day of,” a source at MoMA told Gothamist. “All that’s in the box is cushions and a water jug.” Each performance will last the entirety of the day that museum is open. Though the box was located on the bottom floor on Saturday, it may move locations for later dates…A label for the work lists its materials as “living artist, glass, steel, mattress, pillow, linen, water, and spectacles.”

Cool. But if I wanted to see a white woman sleeping, I’d just break in my neighbor’s house.

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They All Want To Free Roman Polanski

Just in case you thought it was sexual deviant Europeans and pervert Hollywood directors who believe that Roman Polanski has suffered enough by living in France as a celebrated hero after he fled the country to avoid sentencing for drugging and raping a 13-year old girl, be prepared to punch a hole in your wall. Harrison Ford, Natalie Portman, Tilda Swinton, Gael Garcia Bernal, and John Landis have all signed the petition to free Roman Polanski. Thanks, Harrison Ford. Maybe you can talk to Bert and Ernie and reanimate Mr. Rogers to get them to sign too, so you can make sure my childhood is completely ruined.


You can see the full list of advocating assholes HERE (via the great ONTD), then you can sign the counter petition HERE.

Natalie Portman in 1996. Polanski would so hit that:

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More Oscar Stuff









Here’s the teeth-clenchingly annoying 29 year old, Katherine Heigl, looking like the 45 year old chain smoker she is. She smokes American Spirit, the only 100% organic tobacco cigarette, because I guess she thinks that inhaling natural smoke is better than other smoke. Here’s a hint: It’s smoke. I’m sure when the fireman tells you to crawl on your stomach it isn’t because of the additives.

Diablo Cody was hours away from winning the award for “Best Achievement in Pretentious Crap”, but it looks like she had the foresight to dress the part. My neighborhood could be under nuclear attack and I could still manage to pick out an outfit better than this.

Can’t we just all agree that Daniel Day-Lewis should win an Oscar every time he makes a movie? Instead of showing pictures of the other nominees for Best Actor in those little squares, they should have shown sock puppets. It would have basically been the same thing (no offense Johnny).

Perhaps the greatest mystery of the night was why Jessica Alba was invited to the Oscars. That’s like inviting a turtle to a dog show. Look, we’re glad you could make it and all, but please know that you will never go home with anything other than unrealistic expectations or a script that calls for your t-shirt to get wet on page 4.

Marion Cotillard is cute and likes to get naked on camera, so that automatically qualifies her for any acting award. This a little known fact about acting, but perky boobs can really bring out the emotional depth of a female character. *cough* Jessica Biel *cough*

Update: By request, some nude screencaps of Marion’s work. (Click thumbnails for larger NSFW images.)

I know looking like a dude is Tilda Swinton‘s thing, but would it kill her to pretend she has a vagina once in a while? Way to glam it up for the big night. I’m surprised her acceptance speech didn’t start with, “Attention people of Earth!”

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The Oscars Were Last Night



The biggest excuse for Hollywood to suck itself off celebrated its 80th anniversary last night, and with the exception of Tilda Swinton, the winners went pretty much as expected. And as usual, they were mostly wrong. There Will Be Blood got robbed and if I was a 15 year old girl, I’d feel pretty good about my chances at winning a screenwriting Oscar next year. “That ain’t no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, Homeskillet.” Really? That’s a line from an Oscar-winning screenplay? If I heard someone talk like that in real life, my only recourse would be an uppercut. And they would deserve it.

Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, Juno
Best Adapted Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men
Best Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Best Director: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men

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