James Holmes Faces 142 Total Counts



“Whatever, bro. That was way cooler than playing Call of Duty.”

Because a person can’t be just batshit crazy anymore and go shoot up a movie theater, the Colorado massacre in which James Holmes killed 12 people (no, I’m not counting the miscarriage) has been politicized and sparked numerous conspiracy theories. You’re all dumb. Anyway, he was formally charged today. TMZ reports:

James Holmes has been charged with 24 counts of 1st degree murder and 116 counts of attempted murder after shooting up a Colorado movie theater this month — and if convicted, he could face the death penalty. Holmes stands accused of murdering 12 people and wounding 58 during a midnight screening of “Dark Knight Rises” on July 20th in Aurora, CO — one of the most heinous shootings in US history. The 24 counts of murder are split into two categories — 12 counts for premeditated murder, and 12 counts for murder “under circumstances evidencing an attitude of universal malice, manifesting extreme indifference to the value of human life generally.” Same deal for the 116 attempted murder charges — 58 counts of attempted premeditated murder, and 58 counts of murder with “universal malice.” Holmes was also charged with one count of possession of an explosive, and one count of assault with a deadly weapon. Prosecutors have not decided whether they will pursue the death penalty. Holmes’ next court date is August 9th.

Whether you believe open carrying would have mitigated the damage of a lunatic in a darkened theater with tear gas and a semi-automatic with 100 rounds, you’ve either watched too many movies or you’re just an idiot. If you believe James Holmes is a patsy for a massive government cover up, you should probably put down the weed and step outside for a while. Either way, let’s all agree that he should get his head cut off in the same theater and the victim’s families should be allowed to take turns kicking it down the aisle.

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Guns In Movies > Guns in Movie Theatres

I woke up all prepared to post lots of bikini pictures to make up for Todd’s audacity in covering major news stories on a gossip blog the past few days. Then the first headline I saw was “12 Shot Dead At The Dark Knight Rises Midnight Showing.” Fuck.

CNN reports:

A heavily armed gunman attacked an Aurora, Colorado, movie theater early Friday, tossing tear gas before opening fire on the terrified audience and killing 12 and wounding 38, authorities said. The theater was showing the new Batman movie, “The Dark Knight Rises.”
One of the injured was just 3 months old, according to hospital workers.
The shooter used at least four guns — an “AK type” rifle, a shotgun and two handguns, a federal law enforcement official told CNN. The source also said the shooter used tear gas.
One police officer carried a girl believed to be about 9 with gunshot wounds to her back out of the theater, a witness said. “She wasn’t moving.”

(more…)

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The Dark Knight Rises Has A New Poster



The full trailer for The Dark Knight Rises was the best thing about going to see The Avengers, and this point, everybody should collectively give Christopher Nolan a blowjob of appreciation. This shit is going to be epic. Oh, and here’s the new poster. I’m not sure if can you tell by the words or the actual fire rising that a fire will rise or not. And the Dark Knight is also rising at some point. We don’t know. It doesn’t show it on the poster. So basically, there’s a lot of things rising in this movie. Maybe they should have just put Batman on the poster in a hot air balloon so they could rise at the same time and all this wouldn’t be so confusing.

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The Dark Knight Rises Trailer And Prologue Have Leaked


The Dark Knight Rises – Trailer #2 (Leaked) by Eklecty-City

The Dark Knight Rises – Prologue 6mn (Leaked) by Eklecty-City

The trailer and six-minute prologue for Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises leaked today. Don’t look now, but I’m sitting on my couch in pajama pants with a hole in the thigh because of my raging hardon. Ladies?

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Here’s Anne Hathaway As Catwoman



The first image of Anne Hathaway as Selena Kyle/Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises was released today, and hopefully she’s wearing Hello Kitty panties because that’s the only way this picture would have anything that resembles something dealing with a cat.

UPDATE: Stuntwoman Cat!

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The Dark Knight Rises Gets A Poster



The new teaser poster for The Dark Knight Rises hit online yesterday, so yeah, here it is. The plot of the movie is a tightly kept secret, but if I had to guess I’d say it’s about Batman fighting corrupt construction companies who don’t build to code. Sounds exciting.

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