10 Questions With Mike Redmond
10 Questions With Mike Redmond

Because you all know and love him, I did an interview with Mike Redmond. You might now him as "Fish", or "that dude who writes The Superficial". Since we're friends, I asked him if we wanted to answer a few questions and he said, "yeah, I guess". He also provided the banner picture which is him relaxing after a long day. Seems legit. Enjoy!

 

How do you think I'm doing with this interview so far?
Nailed it right out of the gate.

 

I already know this, but how long have you been writing The Superficial and how did you get started?
I've been writing The Superficial for over six years now. Back in February 2007 there was a link for writers to apply, so on a whim after a shitty day at my retail job, I stayed up until 2 a.m. obsessing over three sample posts before firing them off and expecting to hear nothing. Which I didn't for a long time and completely forgot about it until I got an email from a "Karl Wang" which I initially thought was a joke. After some Googling, it turns out he started/owned The Superficial – which you know from your time on the site – and then after a few back-and-forths, I had a login and put up my first post:http://www.thesuperficial.com/nicole_richie_and_joel_madden-08-2007.

And I already regret sharing that link because I cringe every time I go back and read anything before at least 2010. But apparently it was good enough for Karl because within that first week I was writing 90% of the posts before/after/during work and on my days off before taking over as "Fish" full-time in October 2007. And it's been a strange, panstless journey since then including a sale to Buzznet (Now SpinMedia after a short sting as BuzzMedia.) where I'm lashed everyday by Kris Jenner to write about her whore-brood before sanding her horns down so she can appear in public. Please send help.

 

You post boobs and write dick jokes on the Internet. Where does it say in the Internet Constitution that makes you think that you can also have political views?
Without getting too deep into it, I'm part of an Al Qaeda sleeper cell who's slowly destabilizing this country one Miley Cyrus post peppered with commie rhetoric at a time.

 

Speaking of boobs, list the ten boobs that you would like to write on instead of write about? (Hint: This means five women)
Kelly Brook, Kate Upton, Emily Ratajkowski, Katy Perry, Gwyneth Paltrow (just so I can tell her afterward that my semen contains artificial sweetener. I'm an old romantic.)

 

Michael Jackson fans still want me dead, but since I'm not, I'm alive to ask you what's  the worst piece of hate mail that you've ever received?
I had a woman write a lengthy email threatening to stab me because I claimed Virginia is part of the South. You know like it is in reality: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_United_States

 

Who is the coolest celebrity you've ever interacted with?
Definite tie between Adrian Paul and John Henson. Although, Adrianne Curry was surprisingly friendly when I first joined Twitter, but didn't DM me pics of her vagina dressed like Cammy from Street Fighter, so to hell with her.

 

Let's be honest, how many prostitutes have you killed in GTAV?
Oh, God, you had to get me started. Like most people I got bored after the 500th one because, look, Red Dead Redemption already showed that Rockstar has the engine for you to skin animals, so why can't I make a fat suit out of dead hookers? That's the whole point of murdering them, or am I being weird about this? Because I don't feel like I'm being weird about this.

 

Blake Lively or Kate Upton? Please list estimated time of completion for both.
I feel like I'd have a better chance with Kate Upton because she's not married to Van Wilder and seems dumb enough to believe I'm the President. As for estimated completion times: N/A because I'd be a ball of performance anxiety crying in the corner. Which made me miss college all of a sudden.

 

If our GChats were to be made public, how fucking boring would that be?
I'm not sure "boring" is the right word as much as a "soul-crushingly, depressing vortex of unfulfilled hopes and dreams – plus movie talk!"

 

If we were to write a TV show together what would it be about and could we cast Ashley Benson?
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Sexual Olympians who solve murders, so autobiographical. And yes, if we change that first part to teenage mummies which will be the new vampire/zombie/fallen angel trend, I'm calling it.

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10 Questions With Anastasia Ashley
10 Questions With Anastasia Ashley

 

Anastasia Ashley is a pro surfer who captured our hearts and minds with her viral warmup video. Through the magic of Twitter, she agreed to answer a few questions about Miley Cyrus, burritos, the importance of high-speed wifi, and her butt. Happy Monday.

 

So, yeah, Miley Cyrus at the VMAs. Any reason they didn't ask you to be her twerk coach?

I don't know, I was probably busy. I think her background is more in singing than her actual dance. I think she's great though. All I can say I would be really stoked to be dancing with Robin Thicke.

 

The only thing I know about surfing is from Point Break. Have you ever robbed a bank? And if so, what President were you?

I haven't robbed a bank, but if I did though, I think I would be the one person who doesn't get caught.

 

How much would you charge to teach me to surf if I supplied all the vodka and hugs?

I don't charge people for lessons as I am not the best lesson giver. I get actually really frustrated with teaching so I would probably need the vodka and hugs.

 

If you could only surf one place for the rest of your life, where would that be?

I would say Hawaii, its one of the best places in the world


This really isn't a question, but describe the perfect burrito.

Mmmm, I love burritos, anything that's fresh in it is what makes it good, like fresh cilantro, avocado, and cheeses. Also, I love fish so anything freshly caught will be on point.

 

I read somewhere that you said the best way for a guy to get a girl to come over is to have a big screen tv with lots of channels. I have a big screen tv with lots of channels, Netflix, and a three-legged cat. What time should I expect you?

Probably pretty soon, I'm actually in love with cats and small dogs like pomeranians so if you have either or, i'll stay for a while. You'll need to have every package though with HBO and Showtime and lighting fast wifi.


All pick up lines are bad (except my last question), but what is the worst pickup line you've ever heard?
Can I teach you how to surf?


What's the deal with you guys and pumpkin spice?
I love pumpkin spice it makes me feel so fallish and fun.

 

What men's cologne makes you pause and think that an unwanted pregnancy might not be such a bad thing?

I actually really like the smell of Axe on a guy. (Todd's note: :()

 

They say surfing is a spiritual experience. If I was to grab your ass, what type of spiritual experience would I have?

The kind where you never leave.

 

 

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