Taylor Swift Is A Pure Aryan Goddess
Taylor Swift Is A Pure Aryan Goddess


I didn’t know about the Taylor Swift Hitler memes the young people had posted, but I could see how somebody could be easily confused. Like this guy, Andre Anglin.

“Firstly, Taylor Swift is a pure Aryan goddess, like something out of classical Greek poetry. Athena reborn. That’s the most important thing,” explains Andre Anglin, the writer of the white supremacist blog the Daily Stormer. “It is also an established fact that Taylor Swift is secretly a Nazi and is simply waiting for the time when Donald Trump makes it safe for her to come out and announce her Aryan agenda to the world. Probably, she will be betrothed to Trump’s son, and they will be crowned American royalty.”

So, obviously this guy has been led astray by countless memes, but in his defense, this was Taylor Swift’s last haircut. I’m not Nazi haircut shaming here, but you decide for yourself. And Germany did go through woods to invade Western Europe, we don’t honestly know what “Out Of The Woods” is really about. Oh, and she’s suing, because that’s kinda her thing. Just like Trump. Ooohhh doesn’t seem so crazy now does it? 


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Taylor Swift’s Girl Squad Is Basically Scientology For ‘Rich And Beautiful’ Women
Taylor Swift’s Girl Squad Is Basically Scientology For ‘Rich And Beautiful’ Women


Who does Taylor Swift hang out with the most? This person. Did any of that sound right to you? I mean, look at this picture. That’s terrifying. 

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Taylor Swift Did The BMI Awards

I loaded these pics of Taylor Swift at the 2016 BMI Awards first thing this morning, and I was confused because I didn’t see Ashley Graham there. Then I got coffee and realized it was a music type thing. A thing where they have something called the “Taylor Swift Award“. She also won Pop Songwriter of the Year. And a dude was arrested outside her place in Tribeca. Looks like she had a pretty good day all around. 

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Taylor Swift Did The MET Gala
Taylor Swift Did The MET Gala


I still really have no idea what the MET Gala is except this thing where people dress up in weird shit or not weird shit and this is what Taylor Swift wore. Not as good as the Grammys dress and there’s no butt pads and somebody should pull her to the side and have an honest discussion about her hair, but she still got legs for days and today is Tuesday and that day is included in the cliche I just used. About six more and I’ll have enough for a Katy Perry song. 


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Taylor Swift Does Things

Taylor Swift is still doing the platinum blonde thing and the “these are my legs” thing. We know that because she was doing those things yesterday with Lily Aldridge in LA. She didn’t do the butt pad thing since that’s just for special occasions and this was just lunch. Do they make Becky Barbies? Pin these pics to your board. 

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Taylor Swift Says She’s ‘In A Magical Relationship’ With Calvin Harris
Taylor Swift Says She’s ‘In A Magical Relationship’ With Calvin Harris


Ok, so we can talk about how Taylor Swift looks like her ex-scissoring friend Karlie Kloss here or we can discuss what she said in the new issue of Vogue. Both, I guess?

Calvin Harris is magic or something:

“I’m just taking things as they come,” Swift says. “I’m in a magical relationship right now. And of course I want it to be ours, and low-key . . . this is the one thing that’s been mine about my personal life.”

Calvin Harris is magic in the sense that he can get a handjob in a massage parlor and still force Taylor Swift to get a butt like this

People say mean things about her, but she has a plan or whatever:

“I’ve had people say really hurtful things about me, and so I’ve kind of learned how to gauge it: ‘This is, like, low-to-medium-level hurtful.’ There are a lot of really easy ways to dispel rumors. If they say you are pregnant, all you have to do is continue to not be pregnant and not have a baby. If the rumor is that you have fake friendships, all you have to do is continue to be there for each other. And when we’re all friends in fifteen years and raising our kids together, maybe somebody will look back and go, ‘That was kind of ridiculous what we said about Taylor and her friends.’”

I mean, it’s not like Taylor Swift says mean things about her ex-boyfriends in all her songs or anything like that. Or use the biggest platform she can find for sympathy. Nothing like that. Taylor Swift would never do anything like that. It’s hard to tell why people are so mean to her. 


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Kanye West Is Talking Shit About Taylor Swift Again
Kanye West Is Talking Shit About Taylor Swift Again




Kanye West headlined the Paradise International Music Festival in Manila, Philippines where he Kanyesplained why he made “Famous” the first single off Life Of Pablo. If you were somehow unaware, “Famous” includes the line “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous.” You can watch the video or read what he said below. This may come as a shock to some, but Kanye spent 2:26 talking about himself. I don’t think that beats his high score. Judges?
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Hey There, Taylor Swift Butt Implants

This story about Calvin Harris wanting Taylor Swift to get a bigger butt came out while she was on tour (this is what her ass  looked like then), but her tour ended in December. It’s April now. This is Taylor Swift at the iHeartRadio Music Awards last night. Where she thanked Calvin Harris for being an “amazing person“. It’s also where we saw the newly purchased Taylor Swift butt implants. Congrats to Calvin Harris. 

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Taylor Swift Approved Pics To Be Posted Of Her Vacation With Calvin Harris
 

A photo posted by Calvin Harris (@calvinharris) on


Taylor Swift (real name: Taylor Swift) and Calvin Harris (real name: Adam Wiles) are on vacation somewhere and this is the stuff Taylor and her team approved to be posted on social media. Which weird, because Taylor Swift doesn’t really go public with relationships since they usually only last a semester. She might be pregnant and supposedly has already given him a wedding ultimatum, so if this relationship ends, you could probably bid on the copy of her next album that has Calvin Harris’ autographed severed head in it. 


On a scale of “Watch, watch!” to “You watching?!”, how annoying is Taylor Swift here?



 

A video posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on




[ pic source Taylor Swift/Calvin Harris ]

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Taylor Swift Is Scared Of Rita Ora’s New Album Because Of Calvin Harris
Taylor Swift Is Scared Of Rita Ora’s New Album Because Of Calvin Harris


First of all, Rita Ora naked. Second of all, Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris recently celebrated their 1 year anniversary. Third of all, Rita Ora used to date Calvin Harris. Fourth of all, Rita Ora has a new album coming out. Fifth of all, it will have songs about Calvin Harris. 

“Taylor is worried about Rita Ora’s upcoming record, because there’s a couple of tracks that paint Calvin in a bad light,” a source tell HollywoodLife.com. “She doesn’t want any negative comments about her man affecting their relationship because of the public conception of how perfectly suited to each other they are, and how squeaky-clean he appears to be.” Of course, Taylor doesn’t want a repeat of the Kanye incident all over again too, claims the source.  “Plus, after being the subject of an attack by Kanye it’s the last thing she needs to have her name dragged up in public in someone else’s music,” the insider adds.

Sixth of all, Rita Ora recently talked about break up songs with The Sun:

“Yeah, I’ve got about two of those records. But the thing is I get angry first then I get emotional. I hate hate hate hate hate that person and then I’m like, ‘Wait a minute, hold on …’” she told the tabloid. “It’s amazing because it is a big transition in my life. It’s definitely the most emotional album I’ve ever done, but not in a sad way. It’s angry, it’s happy, it’s love – it’s everything in one.”

Now we really don’t need to discuss the irony of Taylor Swift being scared about an entire album dedicated to throwing shade at a past relationship do we? We’re all smart people. Seventh of all, Taylor Swift looks like a Nazi secretary now. Eighth of all, this concludes this post.


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