Taylor Swift Isn’t Attending The VMAs FYI
Taylor Swift Isn’t Attending The VMAs FYI


Not sure if anybody asked, but a Taylor Swift “insider” told People that Swift won’t be attending the 2o16 MTV VMAs. 

“Taylor was never scheduled to attend the VMAs.”

Ok, thanks? I won’t lose sleep over this anymore knowing you won’t be attending because you weren’t nominated for anything and you don’t really attend things unless the focus is solely on you. But you know who did get nominated for a bunch of awards? 

Kanye West will have free reign over the stage at this weekend’s MTV VMAs and show producers are expecting something big … they just have no idea WHAT it will be.  A source close to production tells us MTV honchos are giving ‘Ye 4 minutes to do with as he pleases. He can rap, sing, dance or even just stay silent … and we’re told show producers are totally clueless which door he’ll pick.

Long story short, Taylor Swift isn’t attending because she wants none of that. Tom Hiddleston wants none of that. I want a burrito so I’m about to order one. Sorry. Didn’t really know how to end this.


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Taylor Swift Wants To Buy Back Our Love
Taylor Swift Wants To Buy Back Our Love


Taylor Swift has been pretty quiet since, well, this whole thing, but she donated $1M to the Louisiana flood relief effort. Gary Johnson should mention this when he’s talking at the the television when he’s watching the debates. Here’s her statement. 

“We began The 1989 World Tour in Louisiana, and the wonderful fans there made us feel completely at home. The fact that so many people in Louisiana have been forced out of their own homes this week is heartbreaking. I encourage those who can to help out and send your love and prayers their way during this devastating time.”

Say what you will about Taylor Swift, but a million dollars is a million dollars. If it “rubs you the wrong way” that she made this donation publicly, you might want to refrain from telling people what to do with their own money. Then you should probably go fuck yourself. Or you can go anonymously donate the $10 you had left over from your check so you can feel morally superior. I’m sure the victims will appreciate the three bottles of water that will buy or whatever. Good looking out. 


[ banner pic = Instagram ]

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Taylor Swift Wore Some “Booty” Shorts

I guess today is ass day or things that pass for asses day, so here’s Taylor Swift going to the gym yesterday in these shorts that I assume were custom made or bought in the kid’s department. Remember these pics? Those pics led us astray. Those pics lied to us. Hillary Clinton rigged Taylor’s ass that’s the only explanation. When will Hillary be held accountable for her crimes that I see in Infowars videos? From what I can tell, she has people assassinated, she can control elections, all media, the FBI, the Department of Justice, embassies, and created ISIS all while having Parkinson’s. Michael J. Fox has Parkinson’s and he can’t even sit through an interview. Hillary might even be able to control the weather. Maybe we shouldn’t fuck with this lady.  

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Taylor Swift Is A Brave Hero

While her prince is in Australia having his lawyers work on a viable exit strategy, Taylor Swift is still in NYC braving the walk to her car on the way to the gym. I don’t get the pants or why she keeps puling her shirt down. I guess she has reasons for both. Probably best that we don’t speculate. 

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It’s A Taylor Swift Sighting

Here’s Taylor Swift leaving her apartment in NYC yesterday surrounded by the Swift Secret Service, because if someone looks her in the eye while she walks among the commoners, she’ll have witnesses to testify during her eventual lawsuit. Tom Hiddleston is, I assume, in Australia, where he’s filming Thor: Unwanted Sequel and adding special instructions to his living will. 

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Taylor Swift Wants Tom Hiddleston To Propose Before The Emmys
Taylor Swift Wants Tom Hiddleston To Propose Before The Emmys


Tom Hiddleston got an Emmy nomination for The Night Manager, but Taylor Swift needs to find a way to make it about her, so she is pressuring him to propose before September awards ceremony for the most Taylor Swift reason possible. Star (via Cele|bitchy ) reports:

As Taylor Swift’s picture-perfect world lies in shambles, thanks to Kanye West’s secret recording, Swift is clinging to the one person sticking by her side: Tom Hiddleston. “Taylor and Tom talk about spending the rest of their lives together,” shares a pal, “but if he’s serious about settling down then he needs to propose.” Hiddleston is no stranger to Taylor’s demands. Per reports, Tom flew all the way out to LA to console the singer after she failed to score a single VMA nomination. “Tom was hoping to buy some time, but it sounds like Taylor wants to announce their engagement soon,” says the source, who suspects the pop star has set her sights on the 2016 Emmy Awards in September. “Taylor will want all eyes on them, and what better way than to walk down the red carpet with a rock on her ring finger.”

It doesn’t matter if this is true or not, it just matters if it sounds true. Which it does. Taylor Swift suing a photographer who takes a pic of the ring at the wrong angle will also sound true. Tom Hiddleston shooting himself in the head in the middle of a field will also sound true. Or that’s what Taylor Swift’s PR team will have you believe. Wake up, sheeple.


[  Banner pic = Instagram  ] 

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Tom Hiddleston Is Successfully Fulfilling His Contractual Obligations


Anybody want to know how Tom Hiddleston is doing besides suffering in silence with nowhere to turn after Kim Kardashian slayed the Boss Becky? Let Taylor Swift’s team of PR staff writers spin you a third act of a Garry Marshall movie. 

 “Taylor and Tom are in love with each other. He told her she is the kind of woman he wants to spend his life with,” the insider dishes. “They have gotten very close. She is enjoying the time off from working. She has been writing during her travels, and Tom has been an inspiration in her music.”

“Writing during her travels” like she’s Cheryl Strayed hiking the Mojave Desert instead of flying in a private jet having Gigi Hadid take dictation while Tom drinks to feel nothing. You’re not selling me on this, guys. Not selling me at all. But this next part. I hope you’re sitting down. 



Are you sitting down? Please tell me you’re sitting down.
(more…)

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Taylor Swift Still Plans To Go After Kanye
Taylor Swift Still Plans To Go After Kanye


Even though California law doesn’t include conversations that can be overheard as “confidential communication”, Taylor Swift still wants Kanye West and Kim Kardashian prosecuted for recording the call she said she didn’t know about but did. And much like her response for being called out for straight up lying then playing the victim, Swift is obsessing over technicalities while playing the victim. Hard to believe, I know. 

Taylor sources say she had NO IDEA Kanye had her on speaker. Although she could hear other voices she assumed they could not hear her, so she believes Kanye had a legal duty to ask permission to record her, and by not doing so he violated the criminal law. Taylor is still deciding whether she’ll file a police report. What’s more … we’re told Taylor wants them to bring it on … the call lasted a full hour and Kim was very selective in what she posted. Taylor wants the entire conversation released, because everyone would hear — Kanye never said he’d call her a “bitch” in the song.

Taylor had no idea Kanye had her on speaker. No idea. None. I guess she just assumed Rick Rubin’s voice was a ghost and Kanye called her while on the wing of an airplane. But, of course, here’s why she really wants them prosecuted. Hint: the most Taylor Swift reason of all. They were mean to her. 

We’re told she’s also upset Kanye made the song sound lighthearted, when in fact it’s mean-spirited. Taylor’s rep said in a statement ..  Kanye never asked Taylor for approval — which the tape proves — but she believes he was deceptive. 

Taylor Swift is mad because someone was “mean-spirited” and “deceptive”. Huh. Okay. But to make a claim under the California’s Invasion of Privacy Act, Swift will have to prove she didn’t know the call was recorded, and the letter her lawyers already sent Kim and Kanye might not play in front of a judge, since lawyers can’t bring criminal charges against anyone even though they represent the fairest maiden in all the land who is used to people bowing to her usual legal coercion. Also, an artist in Australia painted that mural you see in the banner pic. I assume her legal team has already deployed black ops mercenaries to deliver a strongly worded letter.


Hey, here’s Camilla Belle. The actor Taylor Swift called a whore on an album that sold over 4M copies, but has yet to apologize.


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Joseph Kahn And Taylor Swift’s Other Friend Aren’t Helping Anything
Joseph Kahn And Taylor Swift’s Other Friend Aren’t Helping Anything


You see, Kahn love Taylor long time.”


So, Joseph Kahn and Abigail Anderson really went there, huh? Let’s break this all the way fuck down. Join me, won’t you?

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