Taylor Swift Says Good Morning, Links
Taylor Swift Says Good Morning, Links

 

Miley Cyrus topless at the beach  (VERY NSFWTaxi Driver Movie

Julia Roberts is making the “Batkid” movie   Dlisted

Jessiqa Pace in a bikini. Yes, please.  Celebslam

MOTHER OF GOD (PART 2)   The Superficial

Isabelle Klem is juicy  Hollywood Tuna

Shay Mitchell in a bikini  Drunken Stepfather

Jennifer Lawrence is falling out of this dress  Popoholic

Sofia Vergara in this dress   Celebitchy

 

pic source = Instagram

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Taylor Swift And Lorde Being Basic

White girls love some hiking in non-hiking gear, so Taylor Swift and Lorde went hiking yesterday. Probably on their way to Anthropologie or a Coffee Bean. Taylor Swift’s legs are about 75% smaller than Lorde’s, so maybe Lorde should speed walk. I never really knew Lorde’s legs were this big, so I think that’s why she always wears black and seems sad all the time. It could also be because she’s associated with The Hunger Games.

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Taylor Swift Is Texting Leonardo DiCaprio “Non-Stop”

Apparently Taylor Swift doesn’t enjoy scissoring as much as I hoped, because she’s supposedly texting  Leonardo DiCaprio non-stop. And she’s probably sending him pics of the wrong kind of kitties. Oh, Taylor.

Despite a recent drop in model percentage at the party that is Leonardo DiCaprio’s life, the cargo-shorted film star has been enjoying endless summer for years now, answering to no one but his own beard. Taylor Swift, who sang a song at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show one time but is not a model, is reportedly prepared to destroy all of that. The National Enquirer claims that Tayla has picked Leo as her “next conquest,” going so far as to have her manager arrange an interview with him so she can “put him to the test.” The boyfriend test. According to the Enquirer, Tay has been texting Leo, or someone she believes to be Leo, “non-stop.” Leo will be her next boyfriend, and they will watch Titanic together every night with her cats and she will never let go, reportedly.

Look, I would bang Taylor Swift retarded, but I really haven’t spent most of my adult life picking things out of the Victoria’s Secret catalog that weren’t for sale. If Leonardo wanted to bang a hot 25-year old, he could drive his yacht to the source. South Africa or Brazil, not Lena Dunham’s book club ans artisanal cheese parties.

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Taylor Swift Made Your Ball Drop

Some weird and horrific shit happened in 2014, like Iggy Azalea and police running wild in the streets like it’s Training Day, but it’s safe to say the year belonged to Taylor Swift. She doesn’t have an ass to shake, but she outsold everybody who had to shake theirs to sell albums. And she more than likely went down on Karlie Kloss on several occasions in 2014. So who better to ring in the new year, than a bisexual woman who doesn’t need to get naked to sell a million records in a week? Sounds like progress to me.

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Taylor Swift Went To The Jingle Bell Ball

Taylor Swift, our reigning flawless bisexual possible lesbian queen, managed to avoid the gravitational pull of Leonardo DiCaprio’s penis, because instead of Art Basel, she went to the Jingle Bell Ball instead. And she wore this dress. Whatever she wears you want to rip it off, because I’m pretty sure her vagina smells like cotton candy and tastes like bubble gum. Unlike yours. Yours is gross. What is that smell? Is that you?

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Taylor Swift Is Already Denying Scissoring Karlie Kloss

Forget other things you might have read, but Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss having sex is the most important story of the day. Sorry. But as they do, Gossip Cop likes to ruin everything.

There’s nothing “#confirmed” about the alleged makeout session. Swift and Kloss are good pals who have held hands in public and been affectionate toward each other countless times. While the hazy photos from Thursday show Swift and Kloss embracing and it looks like they could be kissing, they actually were just trying to hear each other in the midst of a loud concert. A rep for Swift laughed off the Kloss rumor when Gossip Cop inquired, exclusively telling us the latest online gossip was “hilarious.” Swift and Kloss are friends and nothing more. Apologies to everyone who prefers the more sensational version of the story.

We can go with the “the concert was loud” angle if you want, but unless this is how Taylor Swift feeds Karlie Kloss, this is clearly a kiss. Klearly. Khis kis kotal kand komplete kissing kand khey krobably kent kome kand kanged christ Karlie Kloss has a dumb name.

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Here’s Taylor Swift And Karlie Kloss Making Out

Hey, remember when Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss started hanging out all the time and Taylor, who usually has a different boyfriend every other week, said she was over dating and really wasn’t looking for a relationship anymore and wanted to focus on herself? I think “focus on herself” means “stare at myself in the mirror while Karlie goes down on me”. You know how girls say stuff that means something else like “it’s cool you didn’t text me back, no worries I know you were busy” and stuff like that.

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Taylor Swift Probably Got Jessica Hart Fired From The VS Fashion Show

Taylor Swift is all about feminism and girl power, until you know, another girl publicly insults her, then of course, like most women, Swift has zero chill and the girl then becomes Taylor Swift’s sworn enemy who she must destroy and not be satisfied until she drinks her blood from a boot. So let’s flashback to last year when Jessica Hart had this to say about Taylor Swift’s performance during the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

God bless her (Taylor Swift’s) heart. I think she’s great. But I don’t know, to me, she didn’t fit. I don’t know if I should say that.”

Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Actually it does, because anybody who lives in the South understands from an early age that “bless your heart” means “go fuck yourself”, because in the civilized parts of the South, we like to insult you, smile, and walk away without making a big deal out of it and with minimal drama. So everything Jessica Hart said after “God bless her heart”, is hollow and meaningless and should be read as, “Fuck her. Her music sucks and they could have picked somebody who doesn’t suck so much. She really fucking sucks. Sorry, not sorry.”  Enter 2014. The year where Taylor Swift plays the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show again, but Jessica Hart was passed over to be one of the models.

“It’s not been announced that Jessica is not walking, but it was a direct request from Taylor that this be the case if she were to go,” one well-placed Victoria’s Secret insider tells Confidenti@l. “No one can know that Taylor requested Ms. Hart not be in the show. They want to keep that under wraps, but that’s the facts.”

Well, she wasn’t in the show. so there’s that. For all of Swift’s inspirational and feigned feminism, she basically just walks around waiting for someone to say she might not be a fantastic musical goddess, then she fucks with their employment and lives. Sounds about right. Girl power and all that.

 

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Taylor Swift Won Something At The AMAs

I thought for a second Taylor Swift fucked her spray tan at the 2014 AMAs, but then I realized she’s a flawless beauty who looks perfect at all times and this is just how her dress is supposed to look. I didn’t watch the AMAs last night, but I knew she would probably win something, because have you listened to the radio lately? If so, why are you doing that? Why do you hate yourself? You should learn to love yourself. I just like Taylor Swift at award shows because at some point she’ll be in the press room holding a phallic symbol next to her face.  That’s something that I enjoy a great deal.

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Taylor Swift Seems To Really Enjoy Basketball

Taylor Swift seems to be one of those “cool chicks” that pretends to like sports to get you to like her, but internally she’s having a panic attack because she’s missing something on Bravo. Anyway, here she is with at a Knicks game with Amanda Seyfried. Nobody is this excited to be at at Knicks game.

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