Taylor Momsen Is Really Edgy, You Guys

 

Hey, did you know if you're a young chick and you think you're sexy and a feminist, your go to move is to take your clothes off? Cool, because Taylor Momsen is pretty much textbook. Man, look at her. So edgy and sensual and dangerous. Hahaha, not really. Go put on some footie pajamas and ask Pete Wentz how to properly apply eyeliner, Cindy Lou.

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Taylor Momsen Is Naked On Her New Album Cover
Taylor Momsen Is Naked On Her New Album Cover

 

Taylor Momsen was Cindy Lou in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, but then she discovered eyeliner and Tumblr, and has tried to be rich white girl edgy ever since. Now she's the lead singer of a shitty band called The Pretty Reckless (ooh it has two meanings!) and they have a new album called "Going To Hell" coming out. And, uhhh, this is the album cover. It's a picture of a naked Taylor Momsen with a tattoo pointing to her crack. So she's bad at anal? I don't get it. See the NSFW version HERE. You know, if that's your thing, weirdo.

 

pic source = Twitter

 

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Taylor Momsen Is Going To Hell Or Whatever

 

Taylor Momsen and her "band", The Pretty Reckless, have a new video for their song, "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Made Me Grab My Vagina And Talk About Hell Because I'm A Bony White Girl Who Thinks I'm A Rockstar Even Though I Was Cindy Lou That One Time But Forget All That Because I'm A Rocker Chick Who Hails Satan Now." Maybe that's not the name of the song. It just feels right.

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So Here’s Taylor Momsen Naked



If you’re wondering who Taylor Momsen is, she’s the pale, bony white girl who tries to way too hard. Like in this video where she recites pretentious lyrics from her shitty band. And she’s still wearing makeup that makes her look like she went on a car ride with Chris Brown. So if you want to see blurry, out of focus, naked white girl with everything covered up, stay until the end of this video. Oh man, it’s your lucky day!

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Taylor Momsen Is See Through Now



Now that you’ve seen her tits, what’s a Taylor Momsen concert without her sticking her ass in the air? Based on what I hear on the news, a lot of white girls go missing each year only to be found in a shallow grave with semen in their hollowed out eye sockets and a snapped off broom handle in their anus. I can’t imagine that these pictures will slow that trend.

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Taylor Momsen Has Nipple Tape



Taylor Momsen performed at the Heineken Festival in Italy this weekend where she put on a leather jacket and no bra then put tape on her nipples. Or she put tape on her nipples first. I’m not sure. Because when you’re so edgy and original you play by your own rules. Or the rules in the attention whore’s guide PDF you downloaded while practicing poses in front of a mirror and listening to your tutor walk you through your algebra homework.

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Taylor Momsen Seems Like Fun



Taylor Momsen was “peforming” at a concert recently when a fan took off her top and jumped on stage. And when two attention whores occupy the same space, pics like this happen. Everything on this stage is from Hot Topic or illegal, so I can’t really comment further. But I can comment on nitrification. Did you know that it’s the biological oxidation of ammonia with oxygen into nitrite followed by the oxidation of these nitrites into nitrates? It really plays an important role in the removal of nitrogen from municipal wastewater.

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Taylor Momsen Is Hardcore



Taylor Momsen constantly whines and complains about being famous and looks like she went to Sephora and bought a Goth starter kit, mostly because she’s 17 and has no idea how the world works, so she cries away her tears of angst at Hot Topic with her unlimited line of credit. But, just to be clear, it’s kinda hard to take you seriously when try to sell me a flavored bread crumb-style coating for chicken and pork as alternative preparation to that of fried chicken and other fried foods that use cooking oil.

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Blame The Parents

Despite her youth, fortune, and fame, glorified Gossip Girl extra Taylor Momsen has a reputation for being a miserable bitch. E! Online gets to the bottom of this:

“Everyone’s like, ‘Wow, why is she upset, and why is she so miserable about things?’” Taylor says in the November-December issue of Revolver, before going on to lament about how she wound up here.

“My parents signed me up with Ford [Modeling] at the age of 2. No 2-year-old wants to be working, but I had no choice,” she points out. “My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn’t have friends. I was working constantly and I didn’t have a real life.”

So to reiterate, Taylor Momsen is pissed at her parents for providing her with the ability to get paid to show up places dressed to give Jack the Ripper wet dreams while “normal” girls her age struggle to get babysitting jobs. And here I thought she was upset about the scarcity of bamboo. Thanks for clearing that up.


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Taylor Momsen Dresses Appropriately



She looks like an emo raccoon who found her mom’s Feria most of the time, but I can never say anything bad about Taylor Momsen now ever since she completely annihilated Perez Hilton on Twitter (read it here). Perez couldn’t be more overmatched if he was fighting a grizzly bear infected with gamma radiation.

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