Tara Reid Went Braless To Some Thing
Tara Reid Went Braless To Some Thing

 

Not sure how Tara Reid managed to slip past security twice in the same month, but they may have thought she was infected. Anyway, she went to the Art with a Cause event last night and the photographer only managed to take four pictures before he clawed his eyes out of  his head and wrote his goodbyes to his family on the wall in blood.

 

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Tara Reid Is Doing Very Well
Tara Reid Is Doing Very Well

 

Sorry to do this to you, but here’s Tara Reid at the Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets premiere. Apparently this movie is just kinda okay. And apparently Tara Reid has been working at a bank and refused to give an old gypsy woman a loan. There should be a Tara Reid Sex Challenge but I can’t think of an issue but no issue needs that much awareness.

 

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Tara Reid Is Living Her Best Life
Tara Reid Is Living Her Best Life



Tara Reid, seen here with people asking her to smile even though she’s dead inside, was living the dream at a Philadelphia airport bar this weekend.

Tara Reid missed a flight to LA on Saturday because she was too busy hanging at an airport bar, a source said. Reid was seen at Jack Duggan’s Pub inside Philadelphia International Airport. A witness told us, “Tara was beyond tipsy” and was “sharing an egg sandwich with an air traveler.” A rep for Reid said: “She was exhausted from filming. Missed her flight and got on the next one. She wasn’t tipsy but extremely tired from filming.”

Pretty much every Tara Reid story ends with her rep having to deny she was drunk, but there’s tons of stories about actors who were so exhausted from filming that they got drunk and asked for a stranger’s egg salad sandwich at an airport bar. Look them up. It just make take a minute or two to scroll through all the Tara Reid ones.

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Tara Reid Just Got Offered $1M To Do Porn
Tara Reid Just Got Offered $1M To Do Porn

 

Whatever. You’d watch.

According to the offer, GameLink.com — an on Demand porn site — was so impressed by a sexy nude pic she posted on Instagram on NYE, it’s ponying up $1M for her to, as they put it, “showcase her beauty and talent” by having sex on film.  Sounds like they only have her best interests in mind … they’re offering the 39-year-old an opportunity for her to tastefully explore her sexuality with full creative control. 

If you’ve seen any of the Sharknado movies, then you know that Tara Reid says every line like she’s dead inside, so this should be a natural transition.

 

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Tara Reid Wasn’t Asked To Be In ‘Sharknado 2’
Tara Reid Wasn’t Asked To Be In ‘Sharknado 2’

 

Sharknado, Syfy's instant masterpiece about a tornado filled with sharks and the actors who haven't worked since the 90s who fight them, is by far the most culturally significant film of our time. Even though the special effects were created on a free iPhone app and the continuity was like a conversation between Amanda Bynes and a toaster, Sharknado is a brilliant piece of cinema that succeeds because it is exactly what you expect it to be. Hilariously earnest in its terribleness. And about 70% of the terrible was any scene that included Tara Reid, because it was obvious that she was just fed Xanax and wine the whole time and right before the director said action, a person wheeled her out and helped her get her balance. She won't be back for the sequel. This is a sad day. TMZ reports:

Sources connected to the production tell TMZ … producers had a meeting this past week to discuss plans for the New York-based sequel — and the only actor they want back for round 2 is Ian Ziering. Of course, Ian slaughtered more sharks than anyone in the original — killing fish from Santa Monica to Beverly Hills and even into THE VALLEY!! Tara played Ian's estranged wife in the flick — and survived the massive shark attack (even when the sharks broke into her HOUSE!!) — but Sharknado 2 is not in her future. As for Ian, sources say both he and Tara scored around $50k for Part 1.  Ian should rake in a lot more for the sequel.  And good news … we're guessing he's available.

Sharknado 2 will the Empire Strikes Back of sharks in tornado movies, so they have to cast this right. My I suggest Candace Cameron as lesbian marine biologist who is running from her past. And Luke Perry as a renegade cop who is battling his inner demons and his ex-wife in court when the unthinkable strikes. And Alyssa Milano as an aging stripper who won't let this happen again. I've spent way too much time thinking about this.

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Tara Reid Is A Liar And A Whore

Tara Reid can’t even get work in her own imagination. E! Online reports:

Following a recent benefit show at the Comedy Store in L.A., the actress casually dropped quite the bombshell on fans of Joel and Ethan Coen’s cult classic The Big Lebowski while chatting about her upcoming projects.

“I have a movie coming out called The Fields. I have another one coming out that I produced with my brother called The Irishman,” she told Hollywood.tv. “And we’ll be doing American Pie 4 this year and Big Lebowski 2 this year.”

Whoa! Wait! What?! Let’s back up on that very last part part, shall we?

Thankfully, that’s just what a reporter for Austin360 did while interviewing the Coen brothers about their current flick, True Grit.

“I’m glad she’s working on it,” joked Ethan when the subject of Reid’s comments came up, adding that, while they don’t have any plans for a sequel, “we’ll watch it when it comes out.”

“Especially if Tara’s in it,” teased Joel.

It’s pretty sad when the people who originally cast you as a washed up porn star can’t even take you seriously anymore. I guess that’s what happens when you go from acting poorly in teen sex comedies to having a failed reality show. It’s also what happens when your plastic surgeon takes tips from the doc in The Human Centipede.

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Somebody Get Her A Towel



It’s yet to be confirmed if Tara Reid’s surgeon is Oswald Cobblepot or not, but she’s had more plastic surgeries than Freeman Heller and she still looks like absolute hell. Christ, somebody cover that up. Her stomach looks like the wax seal on Thomas Jefferson’s mail.

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Tara Reid In Playboy
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Once in a generation, a Playboy pictorial comes along that opens our minds and causes a paradigm shift in what we believe to be feminine beauty and challenges us to abandon society's norms. This is not one of those times.

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Rehab Is For Quitters, Not Tara Reid

Ladies and gentleman, Tara Reid. She went from American Pie hottie to stupid-looking party girl with bad boob-jobs and liposuction pretty damn quick. She was saved from living through a Britney-like spiral because she had no real talent in the first place, and if we want to watch someone skank-n-spiral out, we’re sure we have some distant relatives somewhere who will be happy enough to oblige.

That’s what made us not take any notice last Friday when Us Weekly received a statement from Reid’s representation (can you imagine telling your friends at parties that you work for Tara Reid of Taradise fame?): “Tara Reid has checked herself into Promises Treatment Center. We appreciate your respect to her and her family’s privacy at this time.”

How much privacy you ask? Well, not enough privacy that we didn’t get these pictures of her partying at Rok Bar in South Miami Beach. These were sent to us as pictures of Tara Reid’s birthday party, and dated December 15th – two days ago.

And we haaaaaaate to bring this up, but Tara Reid’s birthday is actually November 8, 1975, which means this birthday party is over a month late, or someone is trying to spread the rumor that Reid is out of rehab.

Despite our Tara Reid fact-checking abilities, we’re apt to believe that Reid is NOT in rehab anymore.

Click images to see the full-sized drunk.

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Tara Reid Will Never Learn



Obviously Tara Reid doesn’t have any friends, because here she is without a bra at her Mantra fashion show in Athens, Greece. Seriously, does anybody want to see this? We know what’s underneath that dress, Tara. No thanks. I don’t know what passes for hot in Greece, but in America, your tits shouldn’t look like you fed Gizmo after midnight then let him breastfeed you.

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