The New ‘Man Of Steel’ Trailer Is Here

 

The Man of Steel trailer dropped last night, and GOOD GOD MAN. Finally, a Superman movie where Superman gets to punch something with a face instead of just saving chicks and crashing planes and kittens. We also get to see Russell Crowe being Father of The Year as Jor-El, Michael Shannon being insane, Amy Adams as Ginger Lois Lane, and Kevin Coster playing the role he's played since the 80's, Kevin Costner. This trailer is already better than the emo The Dark Knight Rises and whatever the X-Men: First Class was supposed to be. If you've never seen it. it was that movie where Jennifer Lawrence was really fat and Beast looked like a Build-A-Bear.

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General Zod Has A Message For You

 

Let's just get this out of the way, most superhero movies are stupid. There's really no way to sugarcoat that. Even if they aren't, you can go on the Internet and read all the nerd rage about how it wasn't faithful to the graphic novel (a comic book with lots of pages), but I will go see Superman: Man of Steel BECAUSE MICHAEL SHANNON IS PLAYING GENERAL ZOD. Nobdy plays batshit crazy like Michael Shannon (see below), and this teaser premiered last night. A teaser that tells us Michael Shannon wants to kick Superman's ass, and if he can't he's going to destroy the world. He's a like Kim Jong-Un but with weapons that can shoot more than 100 yards.

 






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Clark Kent Is A Homeless Man, Possibly Likes Dancing



More pics of the increasingly homoerotic Superman: Man Of Steel were released today, and apparently Clark Kent lost his job at the Daily Planet because of the down economy and now walks around stealing heroin addict’s pants and doing push ups against steel beams before he jumps into an interpretive dance.

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Kneel Before Cod

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Another picture of Henry Cavill on the set of Superman: Man of Steel was leaked today, and I’m not sure I understand this movie now. Aren’t people not supposed to know that Clark Kent is Superman? How do they plan to work around this? Because I’m pretty sure people will be able to see part of his costume when Clark Kent shows up to work in capris.

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It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s Superman’s Sack

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More pics from the set of the increasingly homoerotic Superman: Man Of Steel found there way online today, and you probably can’t tell from this scene, but Superman is in a fight with a dude for the rights to use “manofsteel69” as profile name on manhunt.com.

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Michael Shannon Is General Zod

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So remember when I said “might“? Yeah, it’s official now. Michael Shannon is the villain in Superman: Man Of Steel. THR reports:

Warners Bros. announced Sunday that Shannon, who received an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor for Revolutionary Road for his performance as a mentally-troubled man and who has also been seen as a stern federal agent in HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, has been cast as Superman’s nemesis. “Zod is not only one of Superman’s most formidable enemies, but one of the most significant because he has insights into Superman that others don’t. Michael is a powerful actor who can project both the intelligence and the malice of the character, making him perfect for the role,” Snyder said. Zod, like Superman, is from Krypton, where he commanded its armed forces. The character appeared in both 1978’s Superman and its 1980 sequel Superman II, where he was played by actor Terence Stamp.

Much like Gary Oldman, even when he’s not playing someone batshit crazy, you fully expect Michael Shannon to bite the head off a squirrel then cover himself in peanut butter mid-sentence at any point during one of his movies. So, basically what I’m saying is, I’m cool with this. Also, when this movie comes out, I can start going up to random chicks and saying, “Kneel before Todd!“. I can’t wait! I know all those women are gonna love it!

He’s not well:

He’s really not well:

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Diane Lane Is Superman’s Mom

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With Kevin Costner rumored to play Johnathan Kent and Daniel-Day Lewis and Viggo Mortensen rumored to play the badass General Zod, Superman: Man Of Steel director Zack Snyder announced yesterday that Diane Lane has been officially cast as Superman’s saintly adoptive mother. THR reports:

Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures said late Wednesday that the actress is set as “the only mother Clark Kent has ever known.” “This was a very important piece of casting for me because Martha Kent is the woman whose values helped shape the man we know as Superman,” Snyder said in a statement. “We are thrilled to have Diane in the role because she can convey the wisdom and the wonder of a woman whose son has powers beyond her imagination.”

Well, I hope the citizens of Metropolis can get their concealed weapons permits soon, because it might a little harder to defend against a supervillain while Superman is jacking off in his room and typing “Martha Kent” in the MILF Hunters search bar.

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