Christ. Like I don’t even know where to start. As expected, Katy Perry had no business performing at the Super Bowl halftime show. I was just a bunch of bright, shiny things to distract you from the fact that lip-synching chick with the weave is a mediocre talent with a big rack who sells a lot of albums because America is mostly dumb. Lenny Kravitz was probably on beach right at dawn scrubbing his soul with a rock, but at least Katy Perry was just an opening act for Missy Elliot. I would say the halftime show was as depressing as the commercials, but you can’t really compete with amputees and dead kids if you’re trying to depress someone. I was seriously waiting for a Wendy’s commercial where they shot a puppy in the head and euthanized a homeless man to promote their new Frosty campaign.
Check out the whole performance after the jump. I like the part where Katy Perry tries to learn Missy Elliot’s dance routine on the stage.