Eleven’s Dad Is Trying To Macaulay Culkin/Lindsay Lohan Her
Eleven’s Dad Is Trying To Macaulay Culkin/Lindsay Lohan Her



2016 has been an unrelenting hellscape of death and unintentional self-parody, but the one shining beacon of hope was the chid stars of the Netflix’s amazing Stranger Things. Specifically, Millie Bobby Brown, who plays a mashup of every Stephen King kid character, Eleven. Brown’s father has already counted higher than eleven in his head, because humans ruin everything they touch.

Brown’s father, Robert Brown, has been demanding what amounts to a signing fee for the privilege of representing his daughter. Sources at five separate agencies tell The Hollywood Reporter the elder Brown, who goes by Bobby, made it clear in conversations with them that a sizable cash payment would be necessary for Millie to sign with that agency. Two sources say the number floated by Brown was $100,000 up front.

Apparently her parents have been trying to make her a star for so long they were pretty much broke and bankrupt before she was cast in Stranger Things. So, at 12 years old, Millie Bobby Brown is now financially responsible for the five other people in her family¬†or they’ll be homeless and starve. On the bright side, she already knows what she looks like with a shaved head. Downside, she won’t be able to attack a car with an umbrella with her mind. Gotta do it the old fashioned way!


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