Steven Tyler Sang The National Anthem

Now before you transform into a bald eagle wearing an American flag cape with M-16’s and freedom mounted on your wings, please explain to me why we still do the National Anthem before every professional sports’ playoff game? I can understand it being performed during the Olympics, but what does the rocket’s red glare have to do with millionaires getting incentive bonuses for extending their season? Anyway, before you respond and tell me to move to France because I’m Communist who hates America, here’s Steven Tyler showing reverence and respect to our treasured song before the AFC Championship Game yesterday. Because nothing gets the crowd pumped more to be an American than a middle-aged woman in a fur-lined collar screeching and fucking (more…)

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Steven Tyler Fell Down, Couldn’t Get Up

Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler was airlifted to a South Dakota hospital last night after he was dancing and fell off the stage. Also because he’s really old. AP reports:

Tyler, 61, fell while entertaining the crowd by dancing around after the sound system failed during the song “Love In an Elevator,” said Mike Sanborn, spokesman for the Buffalo Chip Campground, which hosted the outdoor concert. Tyler was on the stage’s catwalk when he fell backward onto a couple of fans in the middle of what was a record crowd, Sanborn said. Security rushed to help him and the crowd cheered when Tyler got back up. “He was good natured about it,” Sanborn said. “He was in good spirits when he got in the helicopter. He was talking and joking with the physician.” “It was an unfortunate end to an extraordinary evening.” Tyler suffered minor head and neck injuries and a shoulder injury, but it wasn’t immediately clear how serious that was, he said. Tyler was taken backstage and around 12:15 a.m., Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry came out to tell the audience Tyler was being taken to the hospital and that the show would not go on.

At this point, Steven Tyler needs to ask Bernice and Joy which power chair got them to the Grand Canyon. With a Hoveround, why, he’ll be free to see the world!

They see him rollin’, they hatin’

This was once in Steven Tyler’s balls. Think about that:

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