Han Solo Broke His Hip
Han Solo Broke His Hip

 

Ok, it was his ankle but still.

Harrison Ford was rushed to hospital on Thursday after injuring himself on the set of the new Star Wars film. Ford, 71, is reprising his iconic role as Han Solo in Star Wars: Episode VII and was injured while working. "Harrison Ford sustained an ankle injury during filming today on the set of Star Wars: Episode VII," Disney confirmed to PEOPLE in a statement. "He was taken to a local hospital and is receiving care. Shooting will continue as planned while recuperates."

The injury reportedly took place while Ford was filming scenes aboard the Millenium Falcon, but no other plot details were revealed. If I had to assume, he stepped wrong when they landed at Denny's.

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The New ‘Star Wars’ Movie Is Gonna Be All Dudes
The New ‘Star Wars’ Movie Is Gonna Be All Dudes

 

The official cast for Star Wars: Episode VII was announced yesterday, and a long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away, there was a vagina shortage. Here’s the official release:

The Star Wars team is thrilled to announce the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film. Director J.J. Abrams says, “We are so excited to finally share the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. It is both thrilling and surreal to watch the beloved original cast and these brilliant new performers come together to bring this world to life, once again. We start shooting in a couple of weeks, and everyone is doing their best to make the fans proud.” Star Wars: Episode VII is being directed by J.J. Abrams from a screenplay by Lawrence Kasdan and Abrams. Kathleen Kennedy, J.J. Abrams, and Bryan Burk are producing, and John Williams returns as the composer. The movie opens worldwide on December 18, 2015.

Look, I'm a big fan of Oscar Isaac, and John Boyega is in one of my favorite movies, but one of the things I loved about the Star Wars movies was that they always had a badass bitch running shit (Princess Leia gave no fucks from scene 1 and choked out Jabba The Hutt with his own chain while wearing a bikini), so it's kinda lame that we won't be seeing that in the new one. Is everybody going to be having sex with aliens onscreen? I don't get it. Maybe that's why they cast Adam Driver. I'm sure he could effectively explain to the other actors how that's done.


 

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This Happened

 

Star Wars VII is being filmed in London. Peter Serafinowicz is the voice of Darth Maul. Mark Hamill is Luke Skywalker. This picture was taken in London yesterday. Carrie Fisher is also in London. Harrison Ford was spotted at a London restaurant four days ago. JJ Abrams is getting tortured by Disney sentient robots as we speak.

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‘Star Wars VII’ Will Take Place 30 Years After ‘Return Of The Jedi’
‘Star Wars VII’ Will Take Place 30 Years After ‘Return Of The Jedi’

 

Announced by Disney and Lucasfilm on Monday that the 7th installment of the Star Wars saga will begin shooting in May, we now know when it will take place. A long, long time ago except thirty years later in a galaxy far, far away. Or it might not be that far away now. The force of expansion is greater than the force of gravity, so we really have no way of telling. So, it would seem to depend on the circumstantial environment of the galaxy. Is it a member of a super-cluster? Does it have anything near enough to significantly affect it gravitationally? George Lucas didn't really specify. To be honest, he was kinda vague.

The first of three brand new, highly-anticipated Star Wars installments will be set 30 years after Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. (The 1983 sci-fi flick starred Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia and Harrison Ford as Han Solo.) According to the official website, Episode VII will "star a trio of new young leads along with some very familiar faces." Per Reuters, Walt Disney CEO Bob Iger divulged no casting details to shareholders in the company's annual meeting on Tuesday, March 18, other than announcing the return of beloved robot R2D2 in the new installment.

One of the "very familiar faces" is rumored to be Harrison Ford, and that would be sad. Nobody wants that. Han Solo was already frozen in carbonite, we don't need see him frozen by fibromyalgia or a hip replacement surgery.

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Darth Vader Took A Selfie
Darth Vader Took A Selfie

 

I guess to promote the upcoming flicks, Star Wars has an official Instagram account now and the first pic was Darth Vader taking a selfie. Such a Darth Vader thing to do. Last week he commented "ewww go eat a cheeseburger" on a picture of a model and followed Elan Gale on Twitter.

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Ryan Gosling Might Be Luke Skywalker’s Son In ‘Star Wars VII’

Stars Wars VII, which will reportedly take place 30 years after Return of the Jedi, and in 2015, your girlfriend will finally want to see a Star Wars movie. What a special day! Latino Review reports:

The studio is working to produce a Star Wars: Episode VII and continue the story of where 1983′s Episode VI: Return of the Jedi left off. Production on the seventh film in the series will start next year in the UK….A little while ago I was told that two names have been thrown around a lot, and that another star went in last week. The two stars are none other than…RYAN GOSLING and ZAC EFRON. As for what role Efron would be playing, we don’t know. He could be a Solo kid. But what I was told for sure is the Gosling went in for Skywalker’s son. Yes, that’s right Luke’s kid.

The last three Star Wars movies were the unwashed taint that I was forced to lick three times as I cried for my childhood, so hopefully JJ Abrams can give me mouthwash and therapy in exchange for a $15 movie ticket and some magic. The magic that explains how Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher boned and made a Zac Efron.

 

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Harrison Ford Is Reprising His Role As Han Solo In JJ Abrams’ ‘Star Wars VII’



According to Latino Review, Harrison Ford will be returning as badass, best friend sister fucker, Han Solo, in JJ Abrams’ Star Wars Episode VII. And according to my pants, my nerd boner just broke off and shot into warp speed and inserted itself into Ashley Greene. Sorry, baby. Wouldn’t it be cool if we had twins though?

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Carrie Fisher Will Be In Star Wars VII Says Carrie Fisher



In case you were interested in what the plot of the new Star Wars movie will be, Carrie Fisher just told somebody at her booksigning that she has already been cast. The Force reports:

One of our rebel readers, Curt, wrote in with the following: “I was at Carrie Fishers booksigning in Cherry Hill, NJ on November 15, and the interview she did started with the question ‘Are you really going to be in a new star wars movie?’ and Carrie answered quietly ‘Yes….I thought it was already common knowledge.’ She did not elaborate, as she probably doesn’t want to crow too loudly at this point in the project development. But this is the first confirmation from one of the main OT Cast. LFL has not said the cast would return yet.”

There’s been no word on Disney about this, so who knows if Carrie Fisher is just having another drug hallucination of if she was just fucking with the guy. But if it’s true, the movie will take place at least 45 years in the future. Hopefully Tatooine finally got an Applebee’s.

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