Since are taught at an early age that their vaginas are made of solid gold and velvet and that they're princesses who will one day meet her prince who will only speak in Drake lyrics while showering her with millions, Stacy Keibler is considering going back to wrestling mat where George Clooney founf her because she needs to "support her current lifestyle" that she doesn't have anymore. National Enquirer reports:
“Stacy is considering making a one-time appearance on the wrestling circuit,” a close pal told The ENQUIRER. “But it’s got to be cash-heavy offer. She would like the dough.” The former World Wrestling Entertainment beauty’s two-year romance with Oscar winner Clooney ended in July, but during that time she apparently got used to the high life. “Stacy had it all,” said the pal. “Private jets, a mind-blowing wardrobe, whatever she wanted was at her beck and call. “I remember when she spent thousands on a high-tech tanning bed!” Even when work commitments separated them, 34-year-old Stacy lived at Clooney’s house with a full-service staff to wait on her, according to the source. “Since they split, Stacy’s had to give up a lot,” said the source. “But she still buys the best of everything and splashes out big bucks every week at the spa. She has two trainers, a health coach and a private chef. “She estimates she NEEDS over $50,000 a month to support her current lifestyle. A million-dollar appearance fee would cover her expenses for a year and leave enough left over for her to make a serious investment in something.”
Poor thing. I don't know about you, but I'll barely be able to sleep tonight not knowing whether if Stacy Keibler will be able to survive with less than $50K a month. You expect a 34-year old piece George Clooney banged for a few years until she mentioned the word "marriage" in his presence to just use any tanning bed? What kind of monster are you? She obviously deserves singing mice to make her clothes.
If you're still confused as to why George Clooney would dump Stacy Keibler, maybe it's because she used "#BurningMan #LifeChanging" as hashtags on Instagram.
"Hopped up out the bed, turn my swag on called Stacy Keible said what's up?"- George Clooney. Page Six reports:
George Clooney asked Stacey Keibler to move out of his Hollywood home, by phone, about three weeks ago, a source tells Page Six. While Keibler’s clueless publicist strongly denied this to us at the time, we’re told that the actor, who’s currently filming in Europe, asked Keibler to start moving her things out of his house last month. While some outlets reported Keibler decided to end things, our source tells us the opposite.
Stacy Keibler's camp already saying that she had planned to "move out eventually" and that she "never wanted kids". I assume it's the $10 million she made in the last two years by simply putting on a dress and standing next to Clooney at events. I can't do that. Where's my gender equality? This probably won't be covered in my Women's Studies class
Stacy Keibler is almost 35, leaving George Clooney's penis no choice but to end their relationship. So sorry, future Clooney baby Keibeler thought she was going to get. George Clooney and Stacy Keibler has split. People reports:
George Clooney and Stacy Keibler have split. The couple, who began dating two years ago, apparently want different things in life. "Stacy called it quits. She wants to have children and a family someday. She knows where George stands on that," a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE exclusively. "They talked and they quietly stopped being a couple several weeks ago." The source also says Clooney, 52, and Keibler, 33, will remain on good terms: "They talk every day. They were friends before they started dating and they'll be friends after. It was a friendly [breakup]."
It's always cute when women date George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio then are shocked to learn that no matter how many blowjobs they give that they will never win the financial security they covet that a marriage certificate and a baby will bring. I just want to give them a hug and tell them everything will be okay. Then I'll born them some wine and say "awww" to all the pictures of their cats. And then they gently touch my arm. We share a glance. Then we hump. Then I grow emotionally distant when they ask what I think our baby would look like.
What should come as a surprise to nobody, George Clooney and Stacy Keibler will be breaking up any day now. Us Weekly reports:
Looks like George Clooney’s bachelor status is here to stay. The Argo producer’s year-and-a-half-long romance with girlfriend Stacy Keibler has run its course…Insiders say the pair have been increasingly butting heads in recent months. “They have little in common,” one source explains of the former wrestler, 33, and her 51-year-old beau. “She likes to go out and have fun. She’s been feeling the age difference.”…Clooney’s friends are a factor, too. According to one insider, the Oscar winner’s buddies aren’t wild about Keibler’s pals. Adds another source: “The end is near. It’s a matter of time.”
So it looks like Keibler’s PR people got to the gossip outlets first, because all of sudden, George Clooney is old and has douche friends and just wants to stay home and isn’t any fun except for the easily replaceable model that will bang him as soon as he call them.
George Clooney gave an interview to Italy's Max magazine, and there's a 90% chance he's making this up, but here's two words you'll be saying all day: Ball ironing. The Sun reports:
“I never fixed my eyes, but I spent more money to stretch the skin of my testicles. I did not like the wrinkles. It’s a new technique, many people in Hollywood have done it. It’s called ball ironing,”
This can't be a real thing, right? Ironing your balls sounds like what somebody does when they want the whereabouts of a terrorist. I'll just stick to Botox. My grandma gave me a groupon.
Photo credit = Getty
Despite rumors that they’ve split, George Clooney
and Stacy Keibler
are still very much together and looked pretty happy at the 26th Anniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball this weekend. Specifically, Stacy. She gets to dress up as George Clooney’s girlfriend for the second Halloween in a row.
So obviously the news this week about George Clooney
dumping Stacy Keibler
was not true, but damn, did you see that one chick’s ass? I think Clooney just did.
For a little more than a year, you might have recognized Stacy Keibler as “Woman Holding Hands With George Clooney At The Golden Globes”, or her more serious role of, “Woman Holding Hands With George Clooney At The Oscars”. But apparently she got too comfortable, because George Clooney is basically ignoring her now. I’m not sure if Keibler was briefed properly, because if she was, she would have known that Clooney’s penis has the attention span of Mitt Romney is a cash wind machine. New York Daily News reports:
An eyewitness who saw Keibler at a recent cooking event tells Confidenti@l that “she was acting really nervous and refused to talk about George.” After another function last week, a well-placed spy blabbed, Keibler was tearful about the situation. Stricken with grief, Keibler was seen breaking down on and off throughout the day and needed to be consoled by her handler. The source also says she kept checking her phone for texts or calls from Clooney. “They’re barely talking,” another snitch reveals. “She is worried that he may break up with her any day now.” “George is being really distant and pulling away from her,” says our source. “She wakes up every morning and doesn’t know what’s going to happen.” We hear the bodacious blond — who recently was signed to host the Lifetime Channel’s new competition series “Supermarket Superstars” — is nervous that on-screen opportunities will dry up if she and the superstar split. “She’s well aware that she needs to get as much work as possible right now,” says the insider. “She’s working as much as she can.”
Man, she seems pretty heartbroken. I wonder how George is taking the end of this special, year-long relationship?
Meanwhile, Clooney has been cool and collected on set and palling around with his A-list castmates. “He hasn’t said much about Stacy” and “has been focused on the film,” according to a movie-set source in Oklahoma.
And, that’s it. It’s done. Stacy Keibler will be singing Adele into a hairbrush for the next six months while George Clooney’s penis will be holding auditions. Then Keibler will DVR those auditions and cry on the phone with her girlfriends. Jesus, Stacy. Stop embarrassing yourself.
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1. First movie premiere: Covered up, George Clooney openly staring at strange ass.
2. Second movie premiere: Tits pushed up to her chin, George actually looked at her.
3. Third movie premiere: NAILED IT!