Here’s Jay Z Getting Sparta Kicked By Beyonce’s Sister While Beyonce Watches

 

I have no idea what's happening in this video of Beyonce, Jay Z, and Beyonce's sister Solange in an elevator at the MET (BET?) Gala, but whatever Jay Z or Beyonce said, it made Solange become fucking unhinged. Beyonce's gonna feel weird when Kevin Coster tells her it was Solange all along.

 

Solange is hot, so of course she's crazy.

 

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Links Leaner Than These Fine Hindquarters

Billabong Bikini fashion show? Say no more. Except “Site NSFW.” [DrunkenStepfather]

The Solange Knowles nipple-shot that has been making the rounds. Though the nipple is shy. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Jennifer Love Hewitt: on all fours. [HollywoodTuna]

Sienna Miller is waaaasted. About as wasted as I wish I was right now. [LaineyGossip]

Someone tell Lindsay Lohan that there’s a recession on and that she’s poor. [ICYDK]

I don’t want to see Aubrey O’Day‘s O face. But I have, so I just want to put something in that large mouth hole of hers. Like a rock. [I’mNotObsessed]

Fire in Tracey Morgen‘s apartment. A fish fire. No joke. [AP]

No one cares where Brad Pitt is. Why would you? [E!Online]

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Weekend Roundup: Winter Is A Sun Of A Beach

This week saw quite a few bikini pictures of celebrities who chose to escape the cold weather that comes naturally to the northern hemisphere.

Meanwhile, if I want to fly to visit my family in another state, I have to pay money to put my baggage under the plane. Then, as soon as I board, the stewardess tells us to hold on to our coats so we can conserve space in the over-head compartment. And, of course, I put my coat right in the overhead compartment, because I paid money to check my baggage and I assume that they have also allotted space for a carry-on to be associated with my seat. That space should logically be used for my coat, I mistakenly think, leading to an argument with the flight attendant, which leads to her waking me up every time she passes my seat, asking if I want more water (needlessly passive aggressive).

So if you are a drug addict like Amy Winehouse, you get to fly down to some beach and run around topless, but if you’re just some dude going home for the holidays, you’re charged money to bring your clothes with you, and told to stow your coat on your lap.

The world is so fair.

This week in winter bikinis:

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Solange Knowles is Better

Of course they’re both overrated, pretentious bitches, but since we all know that chicks should be judged by their bodies and their bodies alone, Solange Knowles is way better than Beyonce. I really don’t have any number in front of me, but I think it’s mostly because Beyonce looks like a centaur from the waist down. If you spray painted Beyonce purple she could show up at birthday parties and teach kids about the value of sharing and having good manners.

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Solange Knowles is a Dumb Diva



You probably don’t know who Solange is, but if I say “Beyonce” will that ring a bell? It’s not the appointment list at an Atlanta hair and nail salon. Solange is the less famous sibling of Beyonce – of Destiny’s Child – the one who’s married to Jay-Z. Solange is Beyonce’s lesser known sister – the one who got pregnant when she was a teenager and then had a shotgun wedding or something like that … yeah, you were probably thinking, “Who gives a shit?!?!?” and so was I.

She’s trying to sell something and shitting on the people who gave her the time of day:


Good job, Solange! You got corrected by Jason Feinberg. I’m from Vegas and I watch this show while I’m half awake every morning. The guy you’re hearing off-camera usually talks about his cats more than he talks about anything else on that show. Solange should just put a picture of her face in the center of bicycle spokes, then call her brand, “Asshole” because that’s the only way she’ll sell anything without namedropping.

Credit to FOX 5 Vegas and MORE!; Photo credit: Splash

Bonus – Solange and her dumb shoes on TRL yesterday:

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