Here’s Sofia Vergara Riding A Inflatable Bull
Here’s Sofia Vergara Riding A Inflatable Bull

 

Admittedly, I was kinda lame for this post, but whatever. Your mom is lame! Anyway, here’s Sofia Vergara looking like Sofia Vergara riding an inflatable bull in a pool. Not sure if any of this could be construed as racist, but shouldn’t she be running with it?

 

Im getting very good at it #Ihaveallsummer

A post shared by Sofia Vergara (@sofiavergara) on

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TRIGGER WARNING: Here’s A Picture Of Sofia Vergara Without Makeup
TRIGGER WARNING: Here’s A Picture Of Sofia Vergara Without Makeup

 

Sofia Vergara posted a pic of herself without makeup. I’m not sure how Sean Spicer plans to spin this, but a million penises were just gassed and fell silent.

 

 

Cleanse yourself:

 

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Sofia Vergara Got Married
 

A photo posted by Sofia Vergara (@sofiavergara) on


God is now legally and morally allowed to watch Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello have sex without being feeling guilty afterward. Congratulation!


(more…)

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Sofia Vergara Got A Star On Hollywood Boulevard

Despite the rumor that she’s a big hit in the writers’ room, Sofia Vergara isn’t really a great actress, but all you have to do to get a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame is submit an application and cut a $30K check (Google” “how to buy a hollywood star”). I might be missing the point here telling you all this, because the most important thing we should consider while reading this post is that Sofia Vergara looks really great in pictures from any angle.

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Sofia Vergara Thinks Her Boobs Are Too Big, Is A Liar
Sofia Vergara Thinks Her Boobs Are Too Big, Is A Liar

 

Sofia Vergara is on the May 2015 cover of Vanity Fair. See? Look up. That’s totally her! I guess I really didn’t need to point that out. Jesus, Todd. So stupid! Just move on. Everybody knows it’s her, you idiot. This is why your father left. Kill yourself.

“My boobs are, like, huge.” She gives a representation of said hugeness with her hands. “My whole life, buying a bra was a nightmare. What I used to do when I moved to L.A., I found places like Frederick’s of Hollywood that make bras for [strippers].” She adds, “Believe me, I wish I had fake boobs. I lay down and they completely go down like all the way, like here.” Another representation with her hands. “It’s not fun.”

Like do we even want to imagine a world where Sofia Vergara doesn’t look like Sofia Vergara? This is what ISIS wants. I would say this is what the aliens want but we don’t aliens’ concepts of beauty. Or if “beauty” is even a thing where the live. And where do aliens live? I’ve always wondered about that. But I think they’d be pretty upset regardless if Sofia Vergara didn’t have Sofia Vergara. Also, no matter how hot a woman is, she’ll find something she hates about herself then focus on that until it’s an all-consuming thought no amount of compliments will solve. Maybe when the aliens come they can change that. We should really invest more in science instead of saying Moses is founding father and giving money to Fast and Furious franchise.

 

 

Sofia Vergara Vanity Fair

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Sofia Vergara’s Crossfit Ass Says Good Morning, Links

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Amanda Seyfried’s panties are on a scooter  (NSFW) Taxi Driver Movie

NOOOOOOOOOO Dlisted

Taylor Swift in tiny shorts The Superficial

Gigi Hadid is doing this sweater a favor Hollywood Tuna

Miley Cyrus wore this Drunken Stepfather

Good lord, Nina Agdal Popoholic

Bar Refaeli did Marie Claire Mexico Celebslam

IDLYITW [Facebook] [Twitter]–>

 

Hey, dudes. My friend did a Robert Durst parody. Andrew Jarecki didn’t like this one.

 

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Sofia Vergara Is Engaged

Much like most of your friends on Facebook last week week, Sofia Vergara is engaged.

Sofía Vergara is engaged to Joe Manganiello, E! News confirms. The good-looking pair, who became inseparable after they first started dating in July, have yet to publicly announce the news, although a source tells E! News that the True Blood hottie popped the question on Christmas Eve at sunset.  “I’ve never seen two people so truly in love,” a source says of the engaged lovebirds. “The way they talk to each other, touch each other. It’s incredible.”

I would say these two would make pretty kids, but Sofia is 42, so Joe Manganiello will just have to be content with marrying the highest-paid actress in television who also has the biggest rack. I hope he finds a way to live with that. Lots of tough times ahead lol jk just lots of banging.

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Sofia Vergara Gives No Damns
Sofia Vergara Gives No Damns

 

A day after they were dressing up their cats like Beyonce after she twerked on a stripper pole and humped furniture in front of her 2-year old, feminists the world over collectively dropped their crochet needles to voice their displeasure over Sofia Vergara‘s bit at the Emmys last night. She doesn’t give a fuck.

During the 66th annual awards, the Modern Family actress stepped onto on a slowly rotating pedestal, showing off her curves while the president of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Bruce Rosenblum did his annual dull drone-speech. The gag was immediately slammed on Twitter and some news sites: “A very troubling turn,” wrote HuffPo. “She was treated like a literal object,” fumed Jezebel. “A bizarre, objectifying Emmy moment,” headlined Salon. Yet when asked whether the stunt was sexist and demeaning, Vergara shot back: “I think its absolutely the opposite. It means that somebody can be hot and also be funny and make fun of herself. I think it’s ridiculous that somebody started this—I know who she was—who has no sense of humor [and should] lighten up a little bit.” It’s not immediately clear who Vergara was referring to has having started the criticism.

I don’t want to sound like a woman here, but this literally makes no sense. We all saw what Beyonce did, and we all saw what Sofia Vergara did, sooo….like what’s the difference? Seriously. Tell the difference. I need to know. Beyonce is a rich, famous, woman who chooses to hypersexualize herself even though she’s reached a point where that’s not a patriarchal requirement. Sofia Vergara’s entire career has been built on her sex appeal and goofiness, so of course she would agree to to this. Was it lame? Yeah. Was it misogyny? Sure, if that’s what you to call it. Or, maybe, it could be a hot ass woman who knows she’s hot and is cool with being in on the joke however lame it might be. Vergara is obviously fine with being a caricature of herself, and here’s the shocking twist, that doesn’t mean she’s a direct reflection on you. Trust me, if I see you, I won’t be thinking about Sofia Vergara. Especially if you continue to wear those yoga pants you have convinced yourself that they fit. I only think about Sofia Vergara when I’m thinking about Sofia Vergara.  If a woman has a right to choose what she does with her own body, then a woman has a right to do choose what she wants to do with her own body.  That sentence isn’t just limited to abortions and birth control. Women, we love you. We all do. But at some point you need to learn to get out of your own way.  I’ll be in the kitchen doing stuff because I feel the patriarchy shouldn’t define my gender role. Gurrll, don’t be mad. Wait until you get a bite of this omelet.

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So, Sofia Vergara Did This Thing
So, Sofia Vergara Did This Thing

 

Julianna Margulies told us last night that it’s a “wonderful time for women on television“, but it was also a wonderful time to be a feminist on Twitter, because when Sofia Vergara stepped on a rotating platform to be blatantly objectified, the toxic shock syndrome took effect and feminists went apeshit because it was another opportunity to talk about the patriarchy and rape stats.  Like, I can get the outrage since they had her ass up there like a piece of  sweet potato pie in a diner (which is considerably less messy to eat btw), but I just assumed that everyone loves looking at Sofia Vergara like this. Even Sofia Vergara. Remember, Beyonce was on a literal stripper pole the night before and now she’s Dora Russell. And to be honest, there’s a reason they didn’t ask Lena Dunham to step up on that platform. Nobody should be subjected to that.

 

That being said, Happy Women’s Equality Day, everyone!

 

 

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Sofia Vergara Wore These Pants, Links

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