Daniel Craig Leaves Very Specific Voicemails
Daniel Craig Leaves Very Specific Voicemails

 

Long story short, Daniel Craig was dating Sienna Miller while filming Layer Cake in 2004. He then banged Kate Moss and fell in love with her vagina. Somehow Jude Law fought out and somebody from the Sunday Mirror hacked Craig's phone so now we're here. Daily Mirror reports:

Daniel Craig left Kate Moss a voicemail message declaring his love for her, a court heard today. Former News of the World reporter Dan Evans told the Old Bailey he intercepted a message from Mr Craig while working at the Sunday Mirror. The message said, 'I love you, I love you, I love you,' the court was told. Mr Craig and supermodel Ms Moss were widely rumoured to be dating for a few months in 2004, but never publicly confirmed the relationship.

Before you profess your love for a chick, you first have to make sure she's not an easily manipulated ho. That's step one. You should also make sure you're not dating anyone at the time or have Jude Law as a friend.


 

But Kate Moss tho:

 

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Sienna Miller In Barbados, Not With Somebody’s Husband

Sienna Miller’s vagina is like Ellis Island, so it’s surprising that she’s in Barbados with just her mom. She was hot as hell in Layer Cake, but these pictures aren’t really doing anything for me. I want to masturbate to these, but I’m afraid I might wake up two months later with the doctor telling my mother it was a miracle.

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Sienna Miller Is My Hero



Sienna Miller and I apparently only used to like people who were married or engaged, but I guess that’s all changed now because she was in Ibiza with her new boyfriend this week and he’s…wait for it…single!! Man, can you believe it?! Who knew that was even possible?! What new worlds and wonders await!

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Links And Order In The Court!

This was the most exciting meeting of the Medina City Council ever. [BestWeekEver]

Lady GaGa does his/her best to eradicate the need for pants on The View. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Jennifer Lopez is meeting with her manager, which means sometime in the near future my eyes and/or ears will spontaneously start to bleed. [LaineyGossip]

Sienna Miller was hurt during a catfight on the set of GI Joe. [ImNotObsessed]

If you didn’t see Watchmen, but you do want to see Malin Akerman’s nipples as she has sex in the Owl Ship, this link is for you. [Egotastic]

Kristin Stewart is going to stop making Twilight movies for long enough to ruin the memory of Joan Jett. [ICYDK]

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Sienna Miller is Single




Apparently stealing another woman’s husband and being photographed topless on two separate occasions while you were with him, isn’t exactly the basis of a strong relationship. Who knew?! MSNBC reports:

“Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty have split, the actress confirmed to Us Weekly on Friday. “I’m single at the moment, and I’m completely happy with that,” she told the magazine at the Hollywood Dominoes VIP launch in London. “It’s nice not to have a relationship that the press constantly want to scrutinize and discuss. I’m cool with being on my own.”

If this interviewer was a dude, there’s a good chance Sienna banged him after it was over, because to reiterate, it’s Sienna Miller. That’s kinda her thing. She could be trapped on Skull Island, and at best, King Kong would only have to use antibiotics and some sort of medicated cream.

These are NSFW:

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Balthazar Getty is Embarrassed




In a shocking development, actor Balthazar Getty has announced in a statement today that his marriage to Rosetta Getty, his wife of eight years and mother of his four children, is over. Man, I wonder if it has anything to do with the billion pictures of him fondling Sienna Miller’s tits? Somebody has to get to the bottom of this! The Daily Mail reports:

Sienna Miller’s lover Balthazar Getty has publicly announced his marriage to Rosetta Getty, the mother of his four children, is over….He said in a statement: ‘The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved. In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further.'”

Balthazar needs to look on the bright side. At least the kids aren’t involved anymore. The bad news is that in 10 years when Sienna Miller is found stuffed in an old refrigerator with a plastic bag over her head, the police will have at least four suspects.

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Sienna Miller is a Topless Slut




Sienna Miller hasn’t been on here in a while, mostly because she shocked the world by keeping her vagina on a leash long enough for the mainstream press to believe that she was intending to marry actor, Rhys Ifans. Of course, Sienna dumped him without warning or reason (Ifans was photographed a few days later crying on a street curb). Now, not even a month later, here she is in Italy over the weekend flashing her tits with actor and heir to the Getty Oil Company, Balthazar Getty. You know, the kid in Lord of the Flies. Oh yeah, and the dude with the wife and four kids. Just so we’re clear, Sienna Miller is a legendary epic whore. Something must be done. Seriously, it might take Beowulf to kill this bitch.

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Sienna Miller is Topless Again



If you’ve never seen Sienna Miller’s tits before, how are you enjoying your first time on the Internet? Really? That’s great, man. Really great.

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Sienna Miller is Engaged



Famous for turning sex with Jude Law into an acting career, Sienna Miller has now found love and is engaged to actor, Rhys Ifans. She accepted his proposal on his third try. The Sun reports:

The couple is alleged to be planning a summer wedding after Sienna accepted Ifans’ third proposal earlier this month. Lucky Rhys first asked for Miller’s hand in marriage in August last year by sending her a cryptic message in Welsh, which read: “Marry the Misfit.” He then proposed for a second time in December at her 26th birthday party by hiding an engagement ring in a pile of gifts. But it was third time lucky for the actor when Sienna finally accepted his proposal just a few weeks ago.”

This dude shouldn’t get too comfortable, because well, Sienna Miller is a huge slut. Seriously, she’s a slut. Urban legend says that if you say her name in a mirror five times in row that she’ll appear behind you out of a mist. Then she’ll fuck you. Be warned!

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