Sharon Stone Wore This Dress To Cannes

Basic Instinct and 1992 were a long time ago, but apparently Sharon Stone still thinks people want to imagine what she looks like naked even though she's 55. I don't why she would think that beca…wait. I just posted the pictures, didn't I? I'm writing about her dress right now, aren't I? Dammit. *lays sword down at Sharon's feet* You shall see me again, Sharon. Oh, yes. You shall see me again. Vengeance will be mine.

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Settle Down, Grandma
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In what might have been the greatest news of 1991, Sharon Stone has posed topless on the cover of the French magazine, Paris Match. Whatever. They might as well have had Wall * E or Frankenstein on the cover, because this picture was obviously made in a lab.

#2 and #10, you're right. Here candids are super sexy. My apologies.

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Links Peeking Out Like Sharon Stone’s Nipples

Sharon Stone must have known her Oscar night dress was see-through. Site NSFW [TaxiDriverMovie]

I can’t support Kate Beckinsale‘s new bangs, but I can support tight leather dresses. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Natalie Portman looked awesome at the Oscars in pink. I’d love to look good in Natalie Portman’s pink. [LaineyGossip]

If last night’s Oscars didn’t tweak your inner gaydar, than try this: if you’re excited Britney Spears is thinking of covering Lady Ga Ga… [I’mNotObsessed]

Ben Stiller totally rocked it last night with his Joaquin Phoenix impression. [ICYDK]

Marisa Tomei might be an Oscar loser, but at least she chose a dress that made me feel bad for her in hopes of winning sympathy points. [CityRag]

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No Wire Linkers
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Shannen Doherty’s hot piece needs to get naked [Dlisted]
Jennifer Love Hewitt’s weight loss secret is to get ridiculed [Hollywood Tuna]
Heather Locklear’s arrest pictures [City Rag]
The Pussycat Dolls get Photoshopped for Blender [Popoholic]
Lil’ Bill O’Reilly [College Humor]
Dita Von Teese and her monster friends (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Hugh Jackman is one slick rick [Just Jared]
Audrina Patridge her chipmunk face, and implants in more staged pictures [Egotastic]
Lindsay Lohan is taking out a restraining order against her dad [Hollywood Rag]
Kim Kardashian cameltoe (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Minnie Driver after baby [Lainey Gossip]
Jay-Z wants a family [Socialite Life]
Vince Vaughn is working out [Popsugar]
Feministing vs. Jezebel [Pajiba]

Banner pic: Mommy Dearest Sharon Stone at a photo-op lunch yesterday.

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Sharon Stone is a Lunatic

TMZ has the California court’s statement of decision in the Sharon Stone child custody case and oh my God this bitch is crazy:

The court has released what it calls the “Tentative Statement of Decision.” It is a highly sensitive document, which outlines a bitter, ongoing battle between Stone and ex-husband, Phil Bronstein. Among many things, the judge says, “Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan.” In one case, the judge describes Stone believing Roan had a spinal condition, but “there was no evidence to support this allegation.” And then the court says, “Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child.” The judge differentiated very distinctly the difference between Bronstein and Stone, saying, “Father has championed for Roan’s well-being out of, what appears to this Court, nothing less than the unconditional love for his son. Unfortunately, and for unexplained reasons, it appears that Mother did not involve herself to the extent she could or should have in this process … Mother has attempted to put up roadblocks to Roan’s getting help, or has decided against participating in his care.” The judge goes on: “Unfortunately, the problem caused by Mother’s overreactions is painfully real for this child.” There are many other specifics that we won’t publish. The judge says at one point, responding to Stone’s argument that she put her career on hold for Roan, “If Mother has, in fact, limited her career to make herself available for Roan, she has done little to make this evident to Roan, his school or this Court.”

The judge didn’t go on to say that Sharon Stone made her kid drop acid and walk around the mall the day after Thanksgiving. He also didn’t say Sharon Stone injected herself with a serum that turned her into a werewolf just so she could jump out of her kid’s closet at night, but c’mon, man. She totally did that shit.

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Sharon Stone is Unstable

As you probably already now, fall colors bring out my eyes. You may also know that a judge’s ruling yesterday denied Sharon Stone physical custody rights to her son, Roan, whom she adopted with her estranged husband, Phil Bronstein. Well, Splash has a transcript picture of the minutes from the court’s decision. It’s pretty clear at this point their stance on this issue. Namely, if Phil Bronstein was to drop dead suddenly, Roan might want to consider dying himself black or try to get abducted by aliens.

Court papers: Splash

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Sharon Stone Needs To Shut Up

As the death toll reached 67,183 at noon today, the earthquake that shook China’s Sichuan Province of Beichuan is one of the most devastating recorded natural disasters in history. Along with the 361,822 injured and 20,790 missing, 15 million people have been relocated. But those people need to stop whining. Because according to Sharon Stone, they got what they deserved. FOX News reports:

I’m not happy about the way that the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don’t think anyone should be unkind to anyone else,” she told reporters at Cannes. “And so I have been very concerned about how to think and what to do because I don’t like that.” She said she’s also been wondering how the United States should handle the Olympics because China is “not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who’s a good friend of mine.” When the earthquake hit, Stone wondered if it was a case of what goes around, comes around. “Then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma? When you’re not nice, that the bad things happen to you?”

Wow, I almost don’t know what to say – that was so ignorant. If Sharon Stone wants people to be nice to the Dalai Lama so bad, maybe she should tell him to rethink those glasses. He looks like the manager of an Asian Geek Squad. The cool people in China just aren’t down with that.

Sharon at the AMFAR party in Cannes on May 25th:

Photos: Splash

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Sharon Stlinks

Juliette Lewis is a crazy Scientologist in a bikini (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Star Jones stuffs her fug face at Cannes [Dlisted]
Kim Kardashian Ralph outtakes [Hollywood Tuna]
Celine Dion gets waxy [Just Jared]
Jessica Simpson’s blurry bikini boobs (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Madonna and Mike Tyson are a team [Hollywood Rag]
Jennifer Lopez is still ugly and trying to be famous [Popsugar]
Tila Tequila is tranny looking trash [City Rag]
Katherine Heigl still stinks [Popoholic]
Nicole Richie gets a Golden Pacifier award [ASL]
Indiana Jones box office predictions [Best Week Ever]
Elisha Cuthbert is still an attention whore [Egotastic]
Hayden Panettiere topless Photoshop [EHOWA]

Sharon Stone in Cannes yesterday:

Happy Friday (and Memorial Day), kids!

I had such a crush on George Michael back in the day. Georgie, not all vaginas are nightmares. Mine is an orchid, a lily, a tuberose. How dare you give up on me before I was old enough for you to deflower. It’s your fault my petals don’t stink of Elton John’s butt.

I love Elton, too. Don’t get fussy. Just hush and sing along:

Yeah, I’m sappy tonight. Last addition, then I’ll leave you alone ’til Tuesday:

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Madonna Has Nipples

Madonna showed up at a couple movie premieres in Cannes yesterday wearing a see through dress and no bra. Yay, how exciting. If only it was 1988. I’ve been more turned on by watching Antiques Roadshow.

Photos: Splash

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Sharon Stone Flashed Her Crotch Again

Sharon Stone got off a boat in Cannes yesterday and flashed her…oh, I give up. I have no idea what the hell that is. I mean, it’s where female genitalia is supposed to be, but it’s not a good sign when “water balloon” is a good guess. It’s unclear whether that’s testicles or stuff she’s storing for the winter.

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