Shanna Moakler Resigns as Miss California Director

On Tuesday, Donald Trump announced that reigning Miss California Carrie Prejean, a member of the National Organization for Marriage, would keep her crown despite leaked “topless” photos. One day later, Shanna Moakler, former Miss California and advocate of gay marriage, resigned her post as Miss California Pageant Director. In a passive aggressive and self-serving statement, she tells Us Magazine her reasons:

“Since the press conference yesterday, I had a chance to think about what has taken place, and I feel that at this time it is in my best interest to resign from the Miss California USA organization,” Moakler tells Us. “I cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth,” she continues. “I want to be a role model for young women with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams.”

If you printed out Carrie Prejean’s topless photos, cut out the boobs and pieced them together like a jigsaw puzzle, you might get a picture of one whole tit, so I can’t believe Shanna Moakler would resign because of those. I’m not sure if her plan to be a role model for young girls included the time when she posed for Stuff and Playboy (NSFW). Or when she played a naked whore (NSFW) in Seeing Other People. Or when she was a worthless bitch who slept until noon everyday on her reality show. It’s hard to tell. I hate to jump to conclusions here, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say she resigned because of Prejean’s stance on gay marriage. That’s like me resigning my post as Mr. Giant Penis Pageant Director because the guy who just won prefers Star Trek to Star Wars. You know, or any other scenario that means petty and fucking ridiculous.

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Shanna Moakler is Psychic

Shanna Moakler, sometimes wife of Travis Barker, has told Us Magazine that she was supposed to be on the plane that crashed in South Carolina shortly after take off on September 19. She claims she didn’t board because she had a bad feeling. You know, like that one movie.

“I was supposed to go with [Travis] to South Carolina, and at the last minute, I had this gnarly feeling and said, “I don’t think we should fly together anymore.” Go forbid something ever happened – our kids wouldn’t have both parents. Instead of flying a commercial flight back home, they decided to take a private jet. He emailed me pictures of the plane and wrote, “It’s really small and scary.” I had a bad feeling, but didn’t want to sound strange, so I said,”Be safe.”

It’s not clear why Shanna Moakler would bring this up now, but in case you were wondering, Travis Barker said in one of his MySpace blogs that after this staged photo op at the hospital Moakler never came back to visit him. Oh wait, it is clear. Never mind. There’s no telling what she’s gonna do if Barker doesn’t get abducted by aliens or sold into slavery soon. Maybe she can start wearing a viking helmet and carrying a trident. Or maybe she can rob a bank. I don’t know. There’s gotta be something out there to help this chick think the world revolves around her.

The Shanna Moakler pictures I can bring myself to post:

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Shanna Moakler Visits Travis Barker

Here’s Shanna Moakler leaving the hospital where her on-off-on-off-on-on-offonoooff oh screw it, where her still, I think, husband Travis Barker is recovering from the injuries he sustained in that plane crash. These pictures aren’t funny. I mean, she didn’t need to keep that sterile hair holder thing on after she left his room and I’m glad she woke up from her perpetual nap long enough to visit him, but still these aren’t funny. But they do remind me of when I used to volunteer at a nursing home. I swear at least ten women sported that same blue afro. Bless their hearts.

Photos: Splash

Updated crash videos:

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Kim Kardashian is a Whore? No Way.

D-list nobody and deranged lunatic, Shanna Moakler, got into a “screaming catfight” with D-list nobody and black man urinal, Kim Kardashian, at a party thrown by Carmen Electra on Sunday night after Moakler accused Kardashian of trying to sleep with her husband, Travis Barker, while she worked as a model for Barker’s Famous Stars and Straps bikini line. I’ve lost count, but this makes about the eleventy billionth person Moakler has accused of trying to bang her husband. Page Six reports:

Moakler, the former Miss USA and co-star of MTV’s “Meet the Barkers,” threw a drink in the face of Kardashian, star of E!’s “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” and yelled “Whore!” at her…. “She was sending him text messages and e-mails, and this was when Travis and I were working on [staying together],” Moakler told Page Six. “When it happened, I asked her, ‘What are these e-mails?’ She had no answers for me. She was blatantly disrespectful.” Moakler says she wouldn’t even have gone to the party if she had known Kardashian was going to be there. “I was going to leave, but I’m a human being. I get upset. I wasn’t drunk, and I confronted her. She ruined my marriage and my family. If I get passionate about it, they call me crazy,” Moakler relates. She says that Kardashian boyfriend Reggie Bush tried to calm them and that “I told him, ‘Your girl’s a whore.’ I told him Kim sent Travis messages to meet up secretly.” Kardashian retaliated on Monday by strolling around in a T-shirt from Barker’s line in front of the paparazzi. “It was in the poorest of taste,” said Moakler.”

Nobody gives a fuck about these skanks, but it’s time for women everywhere to stop letting their lives be defined by men. They should nurture the bond of sisterhood and strive to constructively work out their differences. And I think we can all agree that they can do this by entering the 1st Annual IDLYITW Blowjob Competition. As your judge and host, you can expect positive feedback and free chocolates. Hurry ladies, reserve your spot today!

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Shanna Moaklink

Joanna Krupa does Maxim [Hollywood Tuna]
Pam Anderson cruises the skateboard park [Just Jared]
Victoria Beckham loves sex toys and hates L.A. [Hollywood Rag]
Lindsay Lohan is now a love doll [Dlisted]
Matthew McConaughey and Meg Ryan look like cartoons [City Rag]
Pink could kick your ass [Popsugar]
Lindsay Lohan and her lesbian cock (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Kate Beckinsale’s rollergirl photoshoot [Popoholic]
Steve-O is on suicide watch [ASL]
Haylynn Cohen’s wedgie bathing suit (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Beatles Van Halen Mashup [College Humor]
Jaime King does Maxim [Egotastic]
You’re So Cool. (True Romance) [Pajiba]

Shanna Moakler at the opening of Pieces (of Ass) on March 12:

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Oscar De La Hoya is a Girl

The sun wasn’t even down yesterday before Oscar De La Hoya’s handlers were screaming that the pictures of him dressed up in lingerie were fakes. However, the pictures were leaked by an unnamed Scores West stripper, and she has quite a few details that she’d like to share. Oh dear God. New York Daily News reports:

The photos are being peddled by a Scores West dancer, according to R. Couri Hay, the Gotham magazine columnist who scored the first interview with the twentysomething woman. “She says she took the photos at the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia on May 17,” Hay tells us. “I fully believe she is telling the truth. She had been reluctant to talk. But now that she’s being called a liar, she’s ready to sell her story. And, believe me, she has a lot of details.”…”He wore size 9 ladies shoes. He also liked wearing thigh-high nylons. He liked sex games. He and the girl would sit in a chair that they’d pretend was a motorcycle. He’d pretend he was the girl on the back of motorcycle. She’d be the guy. He’d grab her around the waist and squeal, ‘Faster! Faster!'”

I’ve sat here and tried, but I can’t think of any way this story could get any gayer. Maybe if the pictures showed Oscar wearing a mesh halter top or tying ribbons in a pony’s hair. I don’t know, maybe. But I think it’s safe to say the gay is pretty much tapped out.

De La Hoya’s baby mama and Playboy Playmate Shanna Moakler:

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Lindsay Lohan Gets Hacked – Chapter 2

Less than one day after Lindsay Lohan’s hacked MySpace, Blackberry and Emails were leaked online, Shanna Moakler responded with this post on her MySpace:

(Click thumbnails for larger size.)

The post has since been deleted after I assume Shanna realized she was 32 and has three kids, but this sorta confirms all this Lindsay Lohan hacked stuff wasn’t a hoax. Paris’ voice mail is now completely full, and Lindsay Lohan changed her AIM away message to this:

Wow, this is getting out of hand. Somebody better step in quick because if this gets any worse, Shanna Moakler might give Lindsay and Paris a really mean face the next time they see each other. And then Lindsay will smack her teeth. And Paris will roll her eyes. And then a ninja bear will appear and slap the shit out all three of them. Ok, so, the ninja bear part may be technically “impossible”, but anything along those lines would work for me.

Source and credit to ONTD

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