Shania Twain is Back

Much has been made of Shania Twain’s triumphant return to the public eye as a presenter at the 42nd Annual CMAs this week nearly seven months after her highly publicized divorce from producer, Mutt Lange. She looks like she’s aged about 10 years here, which considering the circumstances is understandable, but she’s still unbelievably hot. So, while you look at these pictures, please keep in mind that the guy who cheated on her looks like an unthawed caveman and the chick he cheated with looks like a Jewish zombie. Shania’s self-esteem is probably still a little fragile right now. I’m not saying this is a good time to try to get her naked, but there’s a good chance that if you have a welcoming smile and a good credit score, Shania Twain would totally have sex with you.

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Shania Twain Got Dumped For This Thing

Marie-Anne Thiebaud, the secretary who is allegedly responsible for breaking up the 14 year marriage of Shania Twain and producer, Mutt Lange, has been a mystery since this story broke last week. Until now. In an exclusive, People has the first photo of Thiebaud. Mutt Lange gave up a lifetime of sex with Shania Twain for that … woman.

As Shania Twain copes with her sudden split with the support of family and friends in her native Canada, sources close to the singer say she is reeling from a double betrayal – not only by her husband of 14 years, music producer Robert “Mutt” Lange, but by a woman she considered a close friend…”Their two families would vacation and spend holidays together,” says the source. “Shania considered Marie-Anne one of her best friends.”

Women are catty and ugly women are catty and insecure, so of course this chick was gonna try to steal Shania’s husband. She did it just so she could say, “You see, I can’t be that ugly. I stole Shania Twain’s husband.” When in reality, she looks like Pumba. And Mutt Lange looks like he’s been embalmed. In fact, I heard that the reason there are no pictures of these two together is because whenever they try to take one God kills an orphan.

Photos: People, Splash

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Mutt Lange Cheated on Shania Twain

Last week, it was announced that Shania Twain, 42, and her producer husband, Mutt Lange, 59, had split after 14 years of marriage. In an exclusive on Friday, Lange told People that this split occurred because the couple grew apart. He forgot to mention he was banging his secretary. People reports:

What caused the sudden breakup of Shania Twain and her husband, music producer Robert “Mutt” Lange, after 14 years of marriage?…sources close to the situation say a third party was involved: Marie Ann Thiebaud, a longtime secretary and manager of the couple’s chateau in Switzerland. “Mutt and Marie Ann left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship,” says one source…An insider says the “You’re Still the One” singer is “devastated. This came out of left field…She loved him.”

Unless this Marie Ann Thiebaud chick was created in a lab using the DNA of the entire Dallas Cowboys cheerleader squad, I think Mutt Lange and I will agree that this probably wasn’t the greatest idea in the world.

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Shania Twain is Single

Shania Twain’s rep announced today that after 14 years of marriage Shania and her husband Mutt Lange have split. Via Reuters:

This is a private matter and there will be no further comment at this time.”

Shania started practicing Mutt’s religion when they got together and the religion is one of those “higher consciousness,” strict vegetarian, no booze, and no sex types of starvation religions. Sounds fun, eh? So now all Shania needs is a juicy steak and a bottle of red wine and she’ll be swingin’ that hot little ass all over town. I just checked and all flights to Switzerland and New Zealand are suddenly booked for months. John Travolta might be willing to loan his private plane to you boys, but the price will be high. And by “high” I mean “you’ll have to blow Travolta.” Is it worth it?

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