Shakira Had Her Baby

Everybody remember Shakira? Remember when you read that person named Shakira was pregnant? Well that person who was pregnant had her baby yesterday. USA Today reports:

A spokeswoman for the 35-year-old Colombian singer says Shakira Mebarak and 25-year-old soccer star Gerard Pique of FC Barcelona welcomed son Milan Pique Mebarak on Tuesday at 9:36 p.m. in Barcelona, Spain. A statement posted on the pop star’s site in English, Spanish and Catalan says that “just like his father, baby Milan became a member of FC Barcelona at birth.” The statement also says Milan weighed approximately 6 pounds, 6 ounces (2.9 kilograms), and that “both mother and child are in excellent health.”

Shakira’s baby has probably already been propped up in a picture with a soccer ball. That’s racist.

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The Latin Grammys were last night. Since no one cares about them, I’m going to go ahead and assume Sofia Vergara, Shakira, Zoe Saldana, and Blanca Soto (who?) won everything, then tidied up their own hotel rooms.

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Why Yes Ma’am, Don’t Mind If I Do

Shakira performed something at the AMAs last night, and I have no idea what it was, mostly because I was too busy staring at her hot ass. I’ll probably hear the song eventually at Mi Casita. That’s if I go back there. Apparently they’re too good to accept rolls of pennies. I’m a big Internet celebrity!! Don’t you know who I am??!!

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Penelope Cruz and Shakira Like To Party

I’m glad these pictures were labeled “Shakira and Penelope Cruz out at Club Parc,” because at first I was wondering why paparazzi would be hanging out during shift change at the Holiday Inn. At least Penelope Cruz is trying to be hot. Shakira is the most disappointing sex symbol in Hollywood. Looking at her in these pictures is like looking at Darth Vader with his helmet off. Who you thought was a fierce badass is just a burnt up old guy who needs oxygen.

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