Hey guys, we might have a Selena Gomez problem.
Say what you want about pointy ears and blue contacts, but Orlando Bloom turned that into quality getting pussy for life even though they’ve ran out of Hobbit books. He’s like a budget Leonardo DiCaprio, but Leonardo has never banged this. Orlando Bloom has. Katy Perry also calls him her boyfriend. I mean, probably not so much now since he banged Selena Gomez last week. You do you, Orlando.
Orlando Bloom and Selena Gomez found love in the club — for at least one night — when things got VERY physical in Las Vegas, and TMZ got pics of the hookup. It went down Friday night at Light in Mandalay Bay — Selena had the after-party for her Vegas concert there, and sources in the club tell us Orlando was a surprise, late addition to the party … and made a major impression when he got there. We’re told things got very “touchy feely” quickly before 23-year-old Selena and 39-year-old Orlando started neck-nuzzling and embracing in a booth. However, we’re told Selena absolutely went back to her room alone.
This also happened.
What’s the cut off age of being able to say “I want to grow old with you” like 50? 65? 31? :-/
— KATY PERRY (@katyperry) May 7, 2016
Yeah. 31 sounds about right. Selena Gomez is 23 and looks like this most of the time. Katy Perry is 31. She also wore this to the MET Gala. What was that about? That must have factored into Orlando Bloom’s decision here.
“I wanna do a 3-minute version of Spring Breakers.” – Rihanna [ Dlisted ]
Rachel McCord is rock hard (NSFW site) [ Taxi Driver Movie ]
Billy Corgan went on Infowars, is batshit [ The Superficial ]
You should know Paige Tiziani [ Hollywood Tuna ]
Kelly Rohrbach and her ass on the se of Baywatch [ Popoholic ]
We’ve missed you, Rebecca Romijn (NSFW site) [ The Nip Slip ]
Katharine McPhee. Still would. [ Moe Jackson ]
The Magnificent Seven trailer is dope as hell [ The Blemish ]
We’ve talked about this before, but Selena Gomez has been looking at as hell lately (sup?) and now she just did this for GQ. Who is having sex with this? And why didn’t they jump into the middle of this photoshoot? Why aren’t they doing it right now? Why isn’t she pregnant? Isn’t she Mexican? This is taking way too long.
For some reason the world was filled with Taylor Swift’s butt truthers yesterday, but Selena Gomez also showed up to the 2016 iHeartRadio Music Awards in whatever this is supposed to be. It looks like it would be hard to take off. What is that belt thing on the side? What am I supposed to do with that? Is this whole thing one piece? Girls clothes are confusing.
Selena Gomez was in Forth Worth, TX this weekend to throw her cousin an engagement party (that’s them in the Instagram pic above), but according to a frat bro who emailed into Total Frat Move, Selena was fuuuucccked up. You can read the whole email here, but this is my favorite part:
I glanced at my pledge brother in disbelief as I thought of anything I could say. But before I could open my mouth my pledge brother asked “so what’s the occasion?” “We’re celebrating.” Is all her gross posse snarled back at us. “Hey Selena we went to the same middle school” my pledge brother said trying his absolute best to seal the deal. She looked up slowly at him and shouted “It doesn’t matter! None of this fucking matters!” Then the elevator stopped and the doors opened as Selena blew chunks all over her friends purse. I busted out laughing and walked outside as she was ushered away under the cover of strong Mexican women.
In conclusion, Selena Gomez made her cousin’s engagement party about her and apparently is a crying, violent drunk. Here’s the thing though: still would. The heart wants what it wants, I’m afraid.
Last time I had to check on Justin Bieber he was dating the other Baldwin chick and still being an asshole. The last time I had to check on Selena Gomez being asked about Bieber, she shut it down. So who knows why Bieber posted this pic to Instagram yesterday. He’s been making duck faces with Marilyn Manson lately, so life probably isn’t going so well. People say suicide is selfish, but Bieber should keep his options open. No need to limit himself.
I feel you, though.
Selena Gomez has been in Paris for something for a week or so. I don’t know the exact dates. Let’s say two weeks. It feels like two weeks. She’s been in Paris for two weeks, again, for something. We can solve that later maybe, but I really just wanted to talk about the fact that she’s looked hot af since she’s been there. Right? I’m not making this up. She’s pretty hot. Oh, that last link just told me she’s at Paris Fashion Week, so know we know. Two weeks maybe at Paris Fashion Week wearing stuff like this all the time. Ah ok, that makes more sense now because she’s at a fashion thing.