Selena Gomez Did W Magazine & Links
 

A photo posted by W magazine (@wmag) on



Gerard Butler probably banged Rita Ora  [  Dlisted   ]

Pascal Craymer just doesn’t care anymore  (NSFW)  [  Taxi Driver Movie   ]

WHY GOD?!   [   The Superficial   ]

Here’s Kate Upton humping the air  [  DrunkenStepfather   ]

Elle Fanning in leggings   [  Hollywood Tuna  ]

Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t even notice this  (NSFW)   [  The Nip Slip  ]

Bryan Cranston fondling Hayden Panettiere  [  Popoholic  ]

Gwyneth Paltrow is pretty much lying  [  Cele|bitchy  ]

Penelope Cruz at the Zoolander No. 2 premiere  [  Moe Jackson  ]


See the rest of Selena Gomez after the cut if that’s something you’d like to do:
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Angelina Jolie Hates Selena Gomez
 

A photo posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on



Which one of you have seen The Big Short? You were supposed to tell me that Selena Gomez (damn) had a cameo. I can’t be expected to know these things. Apparently Brad Pitt handpicked her for the part, then at the 2016 Golden Globes she posted this pic on Instagram. Take it away, “insider”!

“Angie blew a gasket when she saw Selena’s Instagram, and heard through friends about how Brad and Selena flirted so shamelessly. “Now Selena is bragging to everyone that Brad is gung ho to make another movie with her. Selena is going around jokingly calling Brad ‘my future husband,’ and Angie is obviously none too pleased.  “Angie warned Brad to cut all ties with Selena, and she’s forbidding him from working with her again. It’s just another hard blow to their already fragile marriage.”

Whatever your hate level is for Angelina Jolie will be directly proportional to how much of this story you believe, but it seems pretty serious. The article even goes as far as to say Jolie was “none too pleased”!  That sounds bad if Angelina was holding a parasol and fanning herself during a slave revolt on her plantation at the time. 


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Selena Gomez Wore This Dress

I saved these pics of Selena Gomez at the 6th Biennial UNICEF Ball for last today, because I never got around to looking up what “biennial” meant. You probably think you’re smarter than me, but I will tell you that UNICEF is that company that uses those African kids who have flies as pets as their models. Yeah. Who’s smart now? But back to Selena, she looks hot as hell in this dress. I’d describe her look as rojo caliente or mucho calor. I think those mean the same thing. I don’t know. I’m not Mexican, people just assume I am. Which I find to be pretty racist honestly. 

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Selena Gomez Is “So Beyond Done” With Justin Bieber



New year, new Selena Gomez. Not sure if 2016 Selena Gomez still has Lupus or not. But based on her interview with Rolling Stone, we definitely know what 2016 Selena Gomez doesn’t have: Fucks to give about Justin Bieber. 

Recently, we saw an Instagram video of Justin Bieber singing to you just before the American Music Awards. What is happening there, and what is it like to have the world see that?

Well, I am sorry, first of all. And honestly, what I would love to be printed is that I am so beyond done with talking about that, and him.

Well, damn. Does this mean we can’t talk about his new hair? I’d like to talk about his hair. Why can’t we talk about his hair? What’s your problem? 


 

Hailey made me get corn rows like an absolute douche bag, these will be off tomorrow trust me Danny

A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on



Selena > Hailey.


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Your Christmas Instagram Post
 

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on



I really didn’t mean to put Taylor Swift‘s homely ass as the main pic here, it just kinda worked out that way. Anyway, here’s some Christmas Instagram pics from some celebrities. Or “celebrities”. I guess it all depends which pic you’re viewing at the time.


btw, you won’t believe the pic Charlotte McKinney posted.  Such a change for her. 


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Settle Down, Selena
 

A photo posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on



Selena Gomez posted this pic of her wearing a bikini last night where she was on a shoot with the dude who did this. So I can’t really say I have high hopes. But who knows. I didn’t have high hopes for the breakfast burritos I had this morning, but I can admit when I’m wrong. Special shout out to the jalapeno cornbread.


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Selena Gomez Wore This

Hopefully these pictures of Selena Gomez at the WiLD 94.9’s FM’s Jingle Ball 2015 will make you forget the world is shit and the fact we’ll all be dead soon because American Jesus is terrified right now. So terrified. But that’s ok. We all have to die of something, I guess. Cars in America kill more people than Muslims, you wanna ban them too? Am I doing this right? Let me know if I’m doing this right.

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Selena Gomez Says She Can’t Date Older Dudes “Because I Look 16”
Selena Gomez Says She Can’t Date Older Dudes “Because I Look 16”


The January 2016 issue of InStyle UK is coming out and Selena Gomez is on the cover and they also asked her some questions. I think. I didn’t read it. I saw this quote in my news feed. Apparently they asked her about dating or something? Or maybe search engines? Look, I don’t know, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?!
 
‘It’s hard and I’m weirded out by the idea that a guy has googled me before we meet, and that has happened.’ She also adds: ‘I feel like I look 16 sometimes, which is a bummer because I would love to date older guys.’ 

Wait, how did she know it was hard? Anyway, a friend of mine was a featured extra on this movie when it filmed in Atlanta, and he said Selena walked in the makeup room when he was waiting. He said, “she looks 16 but her real voice sounds like a phone sex operator.” There’s that, I guess. I don’t know.  This kinda looks 16. This doesn’t. Ok, this definitely doesn’t. She’s 23, let’s move on. But if she really wants to date an older guy, I’m generally free weekdays after 4pm and weekends after I wake up.


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The 2015 AMAs Were Last Night

The word music still isn’t in quotations even though we all know it kinda should be at this point, but here’s some pics from the 2015 American Music Awards anyway. All the musical legends of our time were there. Nicki Minaj! Selena Gomez! Justin Bieber! Ariana Grande! Demi Lovato! Gwen Stefani! Some other people! I have really now idea what’s taking ISIS so long. Those dudes are all talk. 

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Bieber’s New Song Is Begging For Selena Gomez

Three days ago, Justin Bieber went on Ellen and said he and Selena Gomez would probably get back together. Two days ago, Selena Gomez was seen holding hands with some dude named Samuel Krost. Also, this happened in August. Well, Bieber’s new album, Purpose, leaked early and one of the songs is called “No Pressure”. Here’s the lyrics. It reads like something a chick is ignoring on Tinder.

“You don’t gotta answer none of my calls
I’m believin’ you’ll pick up one day
I don’t wanna add to your pain at all
I’m praying that time makes a change in your life
I’m realizing how much you made a change in my life
And I don’t wanna spend it with nobody else
Hear me…?
Don’t nobody deserve myself
Oh no, baby what I’m saying is

You ain’t gotta make your mind up
You ain’t gotta make your mind up right now
Right now, don’t rush, no pressure
You ain’t gotta make your mind up
You ain’t gotta make your mind up right now
Calm down, don’t rush, no pressure

In his defense, Justin Bieber tried to party with Jose Canseco’s hot ass daughter then immediately got friend zoned, so he might have to try a new strategy. Not begging might work. Or not being an asshole. If you can’t handle Selena at her Lupus chemotherapy weight, you don’t deserve her at her not Lupus chemotherapy weight. If that’s an actual thing. I’m still not sure that’s a thing. Sounds made up.

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