Donna Says She’s Not Dating Tom Cruise
Donna Says She’s Not Dating Tom Cruise

 

Xenu will kill you for this. Not fast, but oh so slowly.

"The thing that sucks is that there's so much false data because people are in mystery as to what Scientology is, so they just kind of make up stuff," Prepon said. "It's kind of unfortunate because then I have to be like, 'No, that's actually not what's happening.'" "It's just so funny that, when people don't know, they just make stuff up, [like], apparently I'm dating Tom Cruise right now. And apparently he doesn't want me doing the show because I portray a lesbian and I'm a Scientologist. This is false; where are they even getting this stuff? It's unbelievable to me."

Laura Prepon has to explain Scientology, because like all religions, shit just doesn't make any sense. An alien warlock bombed a volcano? Cool. Sorry, gotta run. God killed his son on Friday and he rose three days later except he rose on Sunday? Isn't that, like, two days? My math might not be right, but I think that's two days. That's definitely two days. It's hard to take you seriously when your myth relies on fuzzy math. Anyway, Laura Prepon didn't really say she's not dating Tom Cruise, so they might be. Or they might not be. Why are you even worried about it? Go do something productive with your day.

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Erika Christensen Wants You To Be A Scientologist


Like any religion when you step back and look at them, I won’t sit here and explain how ridiculous Scientology sounds. But Erika Christensen has apparently been a lifelong Scientologist. But unlike Megan Fox’s religion that causes you to speak in tongues and need a decoder ring, Erika says Scientology is about studying. BORING. Us reports:

“[People assume] we’re some kind of closed group and we’re just the Hollywood religion and we worship rabbits,” joked the actress of the faith practiced by Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Beck and other stars. “I don’t actually know how many people think that.” Christensen explained that she was raised in the Church by her Scientology parents, Kathy and Steven Christensen, and would thus have no issue with introducing her future children to the religion’s practices. “I would expose to them, like, this is what I do, which is how my parents did it, because my parents are Scientologists,” she said. “When I was seven, they did this demonstration. There is this thing in Scientology, it’s a study method to demonstrate things out.” “I would give them the option of, like, these are our study tools,” she continued. “You can use them in school, get good grades, learn.”

Erika Christensen has huge boobs, so….must….not….listen….stop…..nodding. Uncross your arms and walk away, Todd. You’re nodding again…..must….pull…away. RUN! RUN!

photo credit = Getty

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Johnny Lewis Was A Scientologist



Yesterday, we learned again that meth is bad when actor Johnny Lewis killed his landlord and her cat, beat two dudes with a board, then fell from a roof to his death. YOLO or something like that. He had some bad thetans apparently. Radar Online reports:

The troubled 28-year-old is listed on numerous websites, message boards and blogs as being a member of the controversial religion followed by the likes of Tom Cruise and Kirstie Alley. Ironically one Scientology blogger, who says his daughter did much of her early religious training with Lewis, lists him in a category dedicated to the “Celebrities who use Scientology and Dianetics to help them live happy and successful lives” following a speech the troubled star gave crediting the religion.

So extreme Muslims fly planes into buildings and hate women, extreme Christians bomb abortion clinics and hate women, and extreme Scientologists are mostly just weirdos who like to file lawsuits and feed their sick kids niacin. But I think L. Ron Hubbard would be proud that Johnny Miller didn’t go see a psychiatrist. It’s obvious that someone who tortures a cat doesn’t have any psychological issues. None at all.

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Scientology Plans To Destroy Katie Holmes



Katie Holmes created a PR nightmare for Scientology when she dropped the divorce bomb on Tom Cruise‘s head, because if you’re a Scientologist, you’re supposed to cut off all contact with anyone who turns their back on the teachings of the floating L. Ron Hubbard head in David Miscaviage’s office. Even your own kids. But unfortunately, if Tom Cruise did that, people might not buy tickets to his movies and Scientology just can’t afford that. So they’ll discredit Katie Holmes instead. The Daily Mail reports:

‘Internally, the wheels are in motion to discredit Katie. We have moles that are pretending to be good Scientologists who report back to us on the outside. I’ve seen internal memos about Katie.’ Samantha, former daughter-in-law of opera singer Placido Domingo and ex wife of his son Placido Jr, told the publication that ‘disconnection is the main weapon of Scientology.’ Samantha left Scientology back in 2009 after 24 years and claims she was immediately declared a ‘suppressive person’ by the Church. Former Scientology spokesman Mike Rinder agreed with Samantha, saying: ‘Katie Holmes is probably the biggest suppressive person out there right now. ‘Tom, if he were an ordinary Scientologist, would be ordered to disconnect from Katie and because Suri will be living with Katie, he couldn’t see her either. ‘But because Tom is so high-profile, it would create a total furore if the public knew he was cutting Suri off. This is an example of the church at its most hypocritical.’

The Church of Scientology uses the term “suppressive person” to describe any person or group with “antisocial personalities” (on their website, they list Hitler and psychiatry as examples). But in reality, it’s mostly used by anyone who they perceive as their enemy. Like Katie Holmes. A sweet 30-year old actress who regularly takes her adorable 6-year old to the park. No wonder they want to the destroy her. Obviously she’s a ticking time bomb who could kill six million Jews at any moment.

Pic source = WENN

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Scientology Is Stalking Katie Holmes



At this point, you really don’t need me to tell you that Scientology is a freakish cult whose main tenets include emotional torture, murder, and fuck bitches get money, so it really should come as no surprise that David Miscaviage has dispatched spies to track Katie Homes‘ every move. TMZ reports:

Katie Holmes believes Scientology now views her as a threat to the organization and has put a team on her tail … sources close to the actress tell TMZ. We’re told Katie believes in recent weeks — as the discord between her and Tom Cruise grew — Scientology has been following her moves, especially in New York City. This does not appear to be the mind of a paranoid person. People who have photographed Katie multiple times tell TMZ there have been several “mysterious” men and vehicles around Katie’s apartment and following her when she’s out. Specifically … a white Cadillac Escalade and black Mercedes SUV (see above) have been seen near Katie’s NYC apartment for the past week. FYI — there is a publication that has put a tail on Katie, but the people doing that are separate from the people Katie believes have been dispatched from Scientology. It is unclear if the two vehicles that have been constantly spotted near Holmes’ pad are from Scientology or from the publication.

Like every religion, Scientology deals in manipulation and fear and preys on the weak, so yes, the mysterious men are Scientologists. They might be Jenna Elfman and Danny Masterson, we can’t be too sure. And please don’t tell me that Scientology isn’t a religion. It has the same tax code as yours. Christianity only seems real because it’s been around longer. If your grandma believed in the apathetic, divine leader and his zombie son, then it must be true. God is nothing more than Kim Jong Il with a slightly better publicist. Oh, yeah. This post is about Katie Holmes. Back to that. RUN BITCH THEY’RE FOLLOWING YOU!!!

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Katie Holmes Is Escaping The Clutches Of Xenu

Katie Holmes might not be the deluded, star-struck robot that we all thought she was, because yesterday she filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, her crazy, possibly closeted husband of five years. Considering he’s been saying to every journalist who will listen over the past month how “amazing” his wife is, people are speculating that she sprung this on him out of the blue. When they got married it was reported that they had an iron clad prenump that was very fair to Katie (her dad is a divorce lawyer and was reportedly involved in the negotiations so you know she is gonna get bank) but this is going to get really ugly when it comes to custody.

Various outlets are reporting that Katie filed in New York and not California because New York (more…)

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Scientology Investigated Trey Parker And Matt Stone

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Marty Rathbun, a former Scientology executive who defected in 2004, says Scientology’s Office of Special Affairs launched a full investigation into South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone after they completely shredded The Church of Scientology in the classic, 2005 episode, “Trapped in the Closet.” No, Scientology isn’t crazy. Not crazy at all.

The following internal Corporate Scientology memorandum is being published as part of a series that exposes the standard operating pattern and methodologies of the Office of Special Affairs (OSA – the harassment and terror network of Corporate Scientology). Hubbard once noted the truism that that which one knows the technology of he cannot be the adverse effect of. So it behooves those who have decided to expose and reform the beast to know a little about the tactics it employs to combat such efforts. To this day OSA operates mainly on Cold War era intelligence and propaganda techniques much like those of the CIA, the FBI, the KGB, and STASI of the fifties and sixties. Their main activity entails stifling criticism by an escalating gradient of techniques beginning with quiet investigation and moving up to infiltration, identification of and use of influential friends and contacts of the target, loud investigation, threats, attempts to harm the target financially, intense propaganda to discredit and ultimately, if all else fails, utter destruction of the target through overt harassment. While in this age of information many OSA operations result in epic failures, the well-heeled – if desperate – cult continues to muzzle many a would-be reformer and news agency. In ’06 the creators of South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, became targets of Corporate Scientology’s OSA. Operations were run in an attempt to silence Parker and Stone. While Corporate Scientology was ultimately unsuccessful, left behind an instructive data trail during their efforts.

You can read the actual document over at Marty Rathbun’s blog here, but please understand that it will be the most paranoid, batshit thing you will read all day. I’d rather take a drink from Jim Jones or visit a house with Charles Manson than step foot anywhere near the Church of Scientology. Well, except that time I went to Gelson’s. I was out of beer, so it was kind of an emergency.

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Scientology Gave Tom Cruise Slave Labor

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Let’s not pretend anything here, Scientology is a dangerous cult started by a fat guy who liked science fiction. But, hey, if you donate a lot of money they’ll give you a guy to pimp your ride for $10 a day. Sweet! Radar Online reports:

The Church of Scientology is under FBI investigation in connection with allegations of human trafficking and the use of unpaid labor, according to a report from The New Yorker, which said that even A-lister Tom Cruise has put church members to work for him for little-to-no-pay. David Miscavige — a church head and Cruise’s best man at his wedding to Katie Holmes — put church members, such as former Scientologist John Brosseau, to work customizing Cruise’s SUV, two motorcycles and a building, according to the report. “Cruise asked me, ‘God, could you paint my bike like that?’ I looked at Miscavige, and Miscavige agreed,” Brosseau, 30, told The New Yorker of his 2005 run-in with the Days Of Thunder star, which he said took place at a church location in the Southern California desert. Brosseau told the magazine that both of the motorcycles Cruise brought him, a Triumph and a Honda, received thousands of dollars of free work, as he took apart, nickel-plated, repainted and reassembled the bikes to the star’s liking. His compensation? “I was getting paid $50 a week,” Brosseau told the magazine. “And I’m supposed to be working for the betterment of mankind.” The Church of Scientology’s Tommy Davis told The New Yorker, in response, that the Collateral star has more than done his part for the institution. “Whatever small economic benefit Mr. Cruise may have received from the assistance of church staff pales in comparison to the benefits the church has received from Mr. Cruise’s many years of volunteer efforts for the church,” David told the magazine.

I would rather have a sister in a shark’s mouth than a brother in Scientology, so I believe every single word I read about Scientology. I also believe that the children are our future.

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Tom Cruise Has Great Friends

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Shortly after the death of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard in 1986, David Miscavige (banner pic) became the leader Church of Scientology. He is one of Tom Cruise’s closest friends and even served as best man at Cruise’s 2006 wedding to Katie Holmes. That’s what best friends do. Oh, and show your recorded confessionals at parties. TMZ reports:

Tom Cruise was secretly videotaped as he spilled his guts in Scientology confessional sessions, and those tapes became fodder for Scientology cocktail party humor … this according to a high-profile and former high-level member of Scientology. Mark Rathbun says in his blog, he recorded Cruise during the confessional sessions and Scientology guru David Miscavige read the transcripts at parties, “joking and laughing” at them. Rathbun says the video was “well-concealed” in the VIP auditing room, per orders of Miscavige. Rathbun says Miscavige ordered him to prepare transcripts of the sessions. Then, according to Rathbun, Miscavige would hold late night whiskey parties, reading the transcripts and laughing out loud. The nature of Tom’s alleged confessions were not disclosed.

Miscavige suffers from asthma and severe allergies and he might be 5’1″ if he wore stilts and stood on a park bench, so I’m not understanding how Tom Cruise could let him get away with this. I’m pretty sure you could trap him in a room by having a cat and pollen guard the door.

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Jim Carrey Is A Scientologist

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The always fantastic Mark Ebner, the only real investigative journalist in Hollywood, has outed Jim Carrey for basically outing himself as a Scientologist.

In one ill-advised Twitter thread, former funny-man Jim Carrey explains his cosmic drift into cult-induced irrelevance. (note: Carrey’s anti-pharmaceutical ranting and use of the tell-tale Scientology catch-phrase, “suppressive types.”

You can see the screencaps of Carrey’s Twitter rant HERE, but be warned, Jim Carrey is out of his mind. Especially since Scientology would make more sense if it was based on what Dora The Explorer pulled out of her backpack.

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