Sarah Palin Is Still Doing The Lena Dunham Comparison Thing

Since Christian conservatives can’t hold two separate ideas at the same time (did you know Caitlyn Jenner and a soldier can be heroes? Haha, I know! It’s crazy!) unless it’s Jesus being a proponent of the Second Amendment, you can’t really expect them to understand complexity and nuance when it comes to a certain issue, because instead of using reason and logic, they can’t really see anything other their own agenda while convincing themselves that MSNBC wants to burn Christians at the stake instead of, you know, forcing them to acknowledge their own hypocrisy. Sarah Palin remains relevant because she appeals to the lowest common denominator of people who think Ayn Rand and Jesus are the same person. So being the compassionate Christian she is, she took to Facebook to write an unhinged rant about how Josh Duggar and his family are the target of the liberal media and to remind you that Lena Dunham is the REAL pedophile. This was her opener:

HEY LENA, WHY NOT LAUGH OFF EVERYONE’S SEXUAL “EXPERIMENTS” AS YOU HAUGHTILY ENJOY REWARDS FOR YOUR OWN PERVERSION? YOU PEDOPHILE, YOU Radical liberals in media who have total control over public narratives are disgusting hypocrites…

I could reasonably end this here, because if you agree with Sarah Palin and believe and support Jim Bob Duggar‘s version of events, Lena Dunham can’t be considered a pedophile because she was 7. Jim Bob says Josh Duggar can’t be considered a pedophile, because you have to be 16. Josh was  14. I know, I know. Logic and reason. Liberals can work on technicalities as well. Sorry bout it. Anyway, here’s the story that Lena Dunham told in her book, which if you’re homeschooled, might make you think she’s an unrepentant sexual predator:

“Do we all have uteruses?” I asked my mother when I was seven. “Yes,” she told me. “We’re born with them, and with all our eggs, but they start out very small. And they aren’t ready to make babies until we’re older.” I look at my sister, now a slim, tough one-year-old, and at her tiny belly. I imagined her eggs inside her, like the sack of spider eggs in Charlotte’s Web, and her uterus, the size of a thimble. “Does her vagina look like mine?” “I guess so,” my mother said. “Just smaller.” One day, as I sat in our driveway in Long Island playing with blocks and buckets, my curiosity got the best of me. Grace was sitting up, babbling and smiling, and I leaned down between her legs and carefully spread open her vagina. She didn’t resist and when I saw what was inside I shrieked. My mother came running. “Mama, Mama! Grace has something in there!” My mother didn’t bother asking why I had opened Grace’s vagina. This was within the spectrum of things I did. She just got on her knees and looked for herself. It quickly became apparent that Grace had stuffed six or seven pebbles in there. My mother removed them patiently while Grace cackled, thrilled that her prank had been a success.

Now, if you read that and believe that a 7-year old girl thinking, “Oh, I have one, let’s see if my sister has one too. She does. Weird”, and a 14-year old boy who molested five girls while they may or may not have been asleep are the same thing, then please be real with yourself for you reasons for doing so. Here’s a hint: You don’t care about Josh Duggar’s victims. You’re politicizing child molestation, because somebody who you thought was on your team lost. Back to Sarah:

I’m not defending the Duggar boy’s obvious wrongdoing over a decade ago. The main victim in any story like this isn’t the perpetrator, it’s the innocent ones so harmfully affected. I’m not an apologist for any sexual predator, but I’m sickened that the media gives their chosen ones a pass for any behavior as long as they share their leftwing politics.

If you start a sentence with “I’m not defending the Duggar boy’s obvious wrongdoing” then blame the media, you’re defending the Duggar boy. Next.

The Duggar debate needs to shift from solely the boy’s obvious wrongdoing when he was 14 years old to now include:

1) The shocking, unethical leak of a private, legally protected counseling document by a politically motivated law enforcement official. Media – time to go after her or him for illegalities and for destroying the public’s trust in law enforcement.

2) The media’s hell-bent mission to go after the entire Duggar family for one member’s wrongdoing, while giving a total pass to perverted actions of someone like Lena Dunham – or any other leftwinger celeb caught doing awful things. Remember reports of the pedophile billionaire our former democrat president has been friends with and hung out with on the pedophile’s “orgy island” full of underage girls?

Okay, 1) Turns out when you wait 4 years after the offender committed the crimes and he’s an adult when the report is filed making him an adult suspect, sorry, the shit is no longer sealed and available to anyone via the FOI. You know, the thing you used to try to prove Obama was a Kenyan socialist alien from Planet Nigra X.

2) The entire Duggar family? Nah. Just the parents, who as homeschool teachers, were required to be mandatory reporters, but waited four years to skirt the statute of limitations. Duggars love skirts. And if you think Jessa laid awake at night scared that the liberal media was gonna try to sneak in and finger her, ask her. You might be surprised by her answer. Look, Woody Allen? Pedophile. Roman Polanski? Pedophile. The guy who married Pocahontas? Pedophile. Michael Jackson? Fucking King Of Pedophiles. Lena Dunham? Not so much. So if you want to compare, at least get one that makes sense. Also, again, in closing. Sup, Jessa? wyd?

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Bristol Palin’s Reality Show Is Sure To Be A Huge Success

In case you haven’t heard, Bristol Palin has a new reality show premiering on Lifetime called Life Is A Tripp (see because her kid is named Tripp and she hasn’t milked that whole situation enough), and apparently it’s so mind-numbingly boring that the dude partly responsible for Bristol having a show wants no part of it. Radar Online reports:

The daughter of former Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin wanted Levi Johnston to be on her latest television project, but has exclusively learned that he turned her down flat. “Bristol asked Levi to be on the show,” a source said about the 21-year-old single mother. “But, he said no way; Levi didn’t want to be a part of her reality show at all.” The source said that Bristol has been filming the show in her home state of Alaska, but so far it doesn’t look like it’s going to make for riveting viewing. “Everyone has seen her with the cameras,” the source said, but added, “it doesn’t look like she’s done that many interesting things.”

Now after reading that, here’s the press release. My God.

“From the first moment she was thrust into the public eye, Bristol and her son have been the subjects of a huge amount of curiosity and misunderstanding. This show will reveal the real Bristol Palin and her journey as a daughter, a mother and a young woman making her way in the world.”

They kind of brush over the fact that the “misunderstanding” is that her sociopath mother preaches abstinence yet Bristol got knocked up when she was 16 because what the hell else are you gonna do in Alaska except shoot wolves and fight vampires? If her last name wasn’t Palin, Bristol would, at best, be trying to convince her boss to let her dance the main stage one night a week, but since her mother ruined any chance McCain had, she gets her own television show despite the fact that all she’s ever accomplished is managing to have a baby that wasn’t retarded. What up, Trig? What’s shakin, homey? Your brain? Cool, bro.

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Tina Fey Does Sarah Palin. Again.

When something was funny two years ago, the first thing you should do is use it again and run it into the ground. And that’s what Tina Fey did when she hosted SNL this weekend and reprised the only reason why people know her. I don’t want to give anything away, but she made a joke about how dumb Sarah Palin is. Haha, OMG! I know! I wasn’t expecting that either!!

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Bristol Palin Is Expensive

Levi Johnston was some teenage loser who got drunk and knocked up Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, then he parlayed that “fame” by posing nude and standing outside car dealerships. Bristol now wants all that money of course. TMZ reports:

Court documents were filed by Bristol’s lawyer late Thursday afternoon in Alaska, demanding $1,750 a month in child support from Levi, retroactive to the birth of son Tripp on December 27, 2008. According to the docs, obtained by TMZ, Bristol believes Levi has pulled in “in excess of $105,000 in 2009 through various media interviews and modeling related activities.” Bristol says in her sworn statement, “I have received limited and sporadic financial assistance from Levi.” Bristol says Levi has forked over only $4,400 over the 13 months of Tripp’s life — $3,000 on September 9, 2009, $1,400 on December 19. Bristol’s request is for temporary support, pending a permanent child support order. UPDATE: Levi Johnston’s manager, Tank Jones, tells TMZ Levi has paid Bristol more than $10,000 since Tripp was born. Jones also says Levi does not make money off of every interview he does, though he did not say exactly how much Levi has made.

$1,750 for one kid? I hate to break it to you ladies, but this how Lifetime movies get made. Here’s an idea, get a job. Just because you didn’t make this idiot pull out, doesn’t mean he has to live under a bridge so you can mark things off your Charlotte Russe wishlist. Besides, this kid is half Palin, there was a good chance he would have came out like Trig. What does he need two grand a month for? Just get him a tire swing or a cable run so he can have free access to the backyard. That seems like it would be fun and a bit more cost effective.

You can read the court docs HERE

Bristol’s mama in booty shorts:

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Sarah Palin = GILF

Not content with stealing the show at the Republican Governors Association in Miami this week, Sarah Palin cranked it up a notch by lounging by her hotel’s pool in some ridiculously short shorts. Damn, it sucks McCain lost. Instead of getting to look at this for four years, we get to look at a First Lady who looks like the dad on Good Times in one of my aunt’s wigs. Thumbs down, Electoral College. Thumbs down, man.

Thanks, Max!

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