Track Palin Seems Pretty Chill
Track Palin Seems Pretty Chill

Haha, I’m just pulling your leg, Track Palin is psychotic. As you probably already know, Track Palin was arrested and charged Monday with “domestic violence, interfering with a report of domestic violence, and possession of a weapon while intoxicated”. The news broke almost immediately after his mom Sarah Palin endorsed Trump for President. Obviously this is a liberal conspiracy probably cooked up on Hilary’s servers #Benghazi. If there’s a bright side to this story, it’s that Bristol Palin isn’t pregnant. Yes, this all pretty fucking funny. Sadly, the police report is not. 

Palin approached [Redacted] and struck her on the left side of her head near her eye with a closed fist. [Redacted] got on the ground in a fetal position because she didn’t know what else he would do. Palin then kicked [redacted] on the right knee. [Redacted]’s phone was sitting on the ground in front of her. Palin took her phone and threw it across the driveway. She retrieved the phone and went inside the house. Palin was already inside and holding onto a gun, yelling “do you think I’m a pussy?” and “do you think I won’t do it?” [Redacted] stated Palin “cocked the gun” and was holding the rifle out next to him with the his right hand near the trigger and his left hand near the barrel, with the barrel just away from his face pointed to the side. [Redacted] was concerned that he would shoot himself and ran outside and around the house. She didn’t see where Palin went, so she went inside and up the stairs, where she hid under a bed.

You can read the disturbing  full report here if you want, but long story short, Track Palin got drunk, punched his girlfriend, kicked her while she was on the ground, threw her phone so she couldn’t call for help, walked around with an AR-15 threatening to kill himself, then when the cops showed up he was a belligerent asshole. There’s nothing about this on Breitbart yet, so I guess they probably just haven’t heard about it. But I assume, like most conservative outlets attempting to find a way to spend this, they’ll wash it away with “Track Palin has PTSD” (I’ll let Bristol Palin’s thirdsecond baby daddy, the 2009 Medal Of Honor recipient explain why that argument is full of shit).  All that said, the Palins’ are trash. Not really sure how else to say it. They want you to think that if Jesus, a gun, or a corporate subsidy won’t fix it, just call it a libtard or you can buy their book that will show you how. Sarah Palin was elected Governor in a state with the highest suicide rate in the country. It’s not like the voters gave a shit. At least 20 probably voted for Squidward. What has their brand of “Family Values” given us so far? Beating women, covering up Bristol’s first teen pregnancy, forcing Levi Johnson to pretend he was gonna marry Bristol to explain her second teen pregnancy, drunken brawls at birthday parties, saying “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere but keeping the money anyway, firing a state official after he wouldn’t fire her ex-brother in law, and pretty much every profoundly dumb thing these idiots have ever said. I think the only normal one is Trig and he has Down Syndrome. And I guess maybe Willow. I hear she cuts hair. 


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