Hey, everyone. Maintenance at my complex blew an entire panel of my fuse box this morning, and I couldn’t leave until they fixed it, because of their policy of me having to be on the premises while they fix shit. Thanks, Trump. Good times. Anyway, this post started a whole lot differently, but I thought you should know. You should also know that Ryan Gosling‘s wax thing at Madame Tussauds doesn’t look like him. I think that’s Bryan Gosling.
Well, damn. So remember last month when news broke that Eva Mendes was pregnant with Ryan Gosling‘s second baby? It wasn’t really news to her obstetrician. She had the thing two weeks ago. TMZ pulled the receipts.
Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling just pulled off the biggest cover-up in Hollywood baby history — they had one 2 weeks ago, and hardly anyone even knew she was pregnant. According to the birth certificate obtained by TMZ … Amada Lee Gosling was born April 29th at 8:03 AM. The baby was born at Providence St. John’s Health Center in Santa Monica. The mother on the birth certificate is listed as Eva De La Caridad Mendez. The dad is Ryan Thomas Gosling.
“Amada” kinda sounds like a hotel chain that still has landlines in their business center. But its not. Its the name of a two-week old baby who will never have to spend the night in one. Anyway, Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling have two kids now. Let’s move on.
People tell me all the time that Ashley Graham looks like Eva Mendes. There’s one major difference though. Ryan Gosling wouldn’t get Ashley Graham pregnant twice. Much less once. I hope that clears this issue up.
Eva Mendes has another bun in the oven! Multiple sources confirm exclusively to Us Weekly that the actress and her longtime boyfriend, Ryan Gosling, are expecting their second child together. According to a source, the mom of daughter Esmeralda, 17 months, was spotted hiding her burgeoning bump during a photo shoot in Los Angeles in February.
Not sure where you go after “Esmeralda”, but hopefully Ryan Gosling has some input on the name this time. He probably agreed to that name during a blowjob. We’ve all been there.>
Ryan Gosling really doesn’t do big studio flicks, but he has a baby and eventual alimony and child support payments now, so he’s been reportedly fielding offers from both Marvel and D.C. to be a A-list tentpole for what will eventually be a dumb film adaption of a colored pencil drawing.
In recent weeks, the 33-year-old actor has met with Marvel Studios to discuss starring in the title role in Doctor Strange, and he is fielding an offer to topline Summit’s adaptation of The Secret Life of Houdini: The Making of America’s First Superhero. Sources also say he is being courted to star in Suicide Squad, David Ayer’s take on the DC Comics supervillain team at Warner Bros. Marvel has been casting a wide net for Strange ever since talks with Joaquin Phoenix broke down. Sources say that Jared Leto and Justin Theroux have been chasing the role, while Ethan Hawke’s name also has surfaced as has Keanu Reeves. It is unclear when the movie would go into production but Marvel has staked out a July 8, 2016 release dates. Houdini, with Dean Parisot attached to direct, was to have starred Johnny Depp but the actor will be sailing with a new installment of Pirates of the Caribbean for almost half of 2015. Summit ideally would like to get going before that. Ayer’s Suicide Squad is still in early development and the script is being worked on. But that is not stopping the filmmaker and the studio from making overtures for what is to be an A-list ensemble piece filled with colorful anti-heroes. Sources say that Will Smith, Margot Robbie and Tom Hardy also are fielding offers. Warners had no comment.
Let’s me honest here. I’ve sex with women who were less attractive than Ryan Gosling. He’s handsome. We all get that. But I hope he’s in a mask the entire time, because if he has to emote any kind of human feelings or be in a scene where the direction doesn’t include “stare at this longingly”, I’m afraid they might want to recast because every character he plays has autism. I think in Only God Forgives he got paid $4M or $1M a word.
I forgot Eva Mendes was pregnant. Luckily, the baby did not.
Hey girl, indeed! Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling welcomed a baby girl on Friday, Sept. 12, multiple sources confirm exclusively to Us Weekly.
So there’s a four day old human alive right now because Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling had unprotected sex. At what point does this baby just stare at herself in a mirror all day? Six months old?
“Hey, girl. Don’t throw that Kleenex away. Let’s save that for my tears.”
“He was the best lover I’ve ever had,” recalls a curvy blonde, who shared a night of passion with Ryan after meeting him at a nightclub. But once the lovemaking was over, things took a turn…”I thought I heard him sniffling,” she says. “Then I realized he had tears gushing down his face. I asked if he was all right, and he said he gets emotional sometimes.”
I don’t understand why Ryan Gosling would cry after sex. Maybe he realized he was in Only God Forgives. I can see how it would be hard to tell with his four lines of dialogue.
The Notebook celebrated its 10th anniversary last week, so director Nick Cassavetes sat down with VH1 to tell some stories about filming and stuff. Namely, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams hated each other. YOUR FANTASY IS DEAD
“Maybe I’m not supposed to tell this story, but they were really not getting along one day on set. Really not. And Ryan came to me, and there’s 150 people standing in this big scene, and he says, “Nick come here.” And he’s doing a scene with Rachel and he says, “Would you take her out of here and bring in another actress to read off camera with me?” I said, “What?” He says, “I can’t. I can’t do it with her. I’m just not getting anything from this. We went into a room with a producer; they started screaming and yelling at each other. I walked out. At that point I was smoking cigarettes. I smoked a cigarette and everybody came out like, “All right let’s do this.” And it got better after that, you know? They had it out… I think Ryan respected her for standing up for her character and Rachel was happy to get that out in the open. The rest of the film wasn’t smooth sailing, but it was smoother sailing.”
Also, James Garner thought Gosling was an idiot.
“(Ryan] says, “I was thinking about accents. There’s all kinds of South Carolina accents — one’s more rural” and this and that. [Garner] goes, “I don’t do accents, kid. They’re stupid.” And [Ryan] goes, “Okay. What about eye color? I have blue eyes. You have brown eyes.” He says, “Everyone knows Jim Garner’s got brown eyes. Do what you want, kid.” [Ryan] says, “Okay, I guess I’ll wear contacts. What about hair?” And he says, “Do whatever you want, kid. Nice to meet you. See you later.” Ryan looked at me and said, “Shut up, don’t even say a word.” So that’s just an example of two extremely different types of acting styles. Both are wildly successful.”
I've still never actually seen this movie, but I know a dude maybe waited for a chick for a long time then she died or something. Sounds romantic.
"Hey girl, I will smolder them. I shall smolder them all."
Ryan Gosling's directorial debut, Lost River, dropped at Cannes this year. You can catch it on Netflix pretty soon under the title, Lost Every Single Award At Cannes.
Last year Only God Forgives, Nicholas Winding Refn's movie starring Ryan Gosling, was booed at Cannes. This year, Gosling, there with his directorial debut Lost River is not doing much better. Lost River stars Mad Men's Christina Hendricks, Agents of SHIELD's Iain De Caestecker, and Doctor Who's Matt Smith as the residents of a broken down city, and though the film drawing comparisons to Refn and David Lynch, it's not exactly receiving a swath of acclaim. Some of the initial tweets from critics were damning. Grantland's Wesley Morris unleashed this particular gut shot: "If a $200 haircut and $900 shades were given lots of money to defecate on Detroit, the result would be Ryan Gosling's directing debut." Variety's Scott Foundas said that it's "a first-rate folie de grandeur. Echoes of Argento, Korine, Lynch, Malick in a tedious allegory of Detroit as ghost town."…The Telegraph's Robbie Collin enumerated Gosling's influences. "The problem is, it’s like everything Ryan Gosling’s seen: David Lynch, Mario Bava, Nicolas Winding Refn, Terence Malick, Gaspar Noé and a splash of David Cronenberg for good measure," he wrote. "But these filmmakers’ ideas and imagery aren’t developed, they’re simply reproduced: think Wikipedia essay rather than love letter." Collin also called the movie "mouth-dryingly lousy."
Man, poor guy. This has to be tough (he reportedly skipped his own film's afterparty). I'm not sure how he'll recover from this. A good way to start would probably be to stare at himself in the mirror.
That sound you heard yesterday was a tsunami of panties flying after two media outlets (InTouch Weekly and Life & Style) reported that Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes had split after two years. According to reports, Eva Mendes likes to party and Ryan Gosling likes to stay at home and make babies. Daily Mail reports:
They seemed to be crazy about each other when they stepped out regularly in LA with her dog Hugo. But on Wednesday, two publications reported Ryan Gosling, 33, and his girlfriend Eva Mendes, 39, split up over Christmas. 'There is no ill will,' InTouch's source said. 'Neither is rushing out to date other people right now.' Life & Style Weekly's source added: 'They just knew it was time.' Ryan's rep did not return calls to MailOnline. Eva's rep chose to not comment. A big problem was they liked different things. Eva, who is the face of Thierry Mugler perfume, preferred to be in the limelight, while her partner didn't. 'Eva loves Hollywood, the parties, the glamor,' a source shared. 'She loves going out.' But not Ryan, who is 'introverted – very serious and a total homebody'. Another problem was getting hitched and having babies. 'They knew it was time to take the next step and get married,' a friend admitted. 'But neither was sure they wanted that to happen.' Mendes has said in the past she was not interested in becoming a mother. 'I'm certainly not thinking about being a mom,' the beauty has said. 'I can't imagine it. I'm too selfish.' The Only God Forgives actor, however, wanted a brood. 'I'd like to be making babies,' he said. 'But I'm not, so I'm making movies.'
But as soon as the reports surfaced, Mendes' rep shot then down:
Sorry, ladies. Despite new reports which claim the couple, who were first romantically linked in September 2011, called it quits over the holidays, Eva's rep tells E! News the latest breakup reports are just another round of rumors.
It's a rep's job to say shit like this, so who knows if they're broken up or not. If they are, Ryan should text me. I mean, he's prettier than some of the chicks I've dated and I set a personal record max on the bench press yesterday. I also make pretty good brownies and can rock the fuck out of a tie and vest. Just sayin'. Holla at me, boo.
"That chick just said 'marriage' LOL"
The voices in their head have spoken: Women want a Ryan Gosling sex tape. Hollywood Gossip reports:
In a new survey conducted by Vivid Entertainment and XCritic (dot) com, Ryan Gosling was named the actor most respondents want to see in a sex tape. Gosling earned the naked distinction by winning 21.6 percent of the vote. He was followed by Brad Pitt with 17.2 percent… Channing Tatum at 15.6 percent… and Matthew McConaughey and Johnny Depp, both with 12.7 percent.
Awww, that's pretty cool. Women probably want to see a Ryan Gosling sex tape because he's a really nice guy and treats his mother well. And listens when they talk about their day. And he can handle that at their worst so he deserves their best. Or whatever things post on Facebook to make us think they aren't watching porn right now.