Rosario Dawson Found Her Cousin Dead Last Week
Rosario Dawson Found Her Cousin Dead Last Week


Rosario Dawson found her 26-year old cousin dead in her house last week. Yikes.

Law enforcement sources tell us Rosario walked downstairs in her Venice home last Thursday and found 26-year-old Vaneza Ines Vasquez lying unresponsive. Paramedics rushed to the scene and transported Vaneza, but ultimately they could not resuscitate her. We’re told Vaneza — who worked for Rosario — had recently been suffering migraines and also had hypertension. We’re told early autopsy results point to her dying from natural causes. Toxicology results are still pending, but our sources tell us Vaneza had no history of substance abuse.  We reached out to Rosario and the family of Vasquez who did not wish to release a statement at this time.

Man, this is horrible. No word word yet if her cousin worked for the DNC and had a laptop. Stay tuned for breaking news as it happens.


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Rosario Dawson’s Complex Magazine Shoot

These are just the tiniest bit old, in the sense that I found them this week and have been keeping them to myself, constantly tempted to auto erotically asphyxiate myself. Finally, when I saw that I had run out of lemons, I decided to ditch the plan and get these sexy Rosario Dawson photos out on the street, like stat!

I’m also in the market for a new (and stronger) leather belt with a metal strap.

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Rosario Dawson: Saved By Gas

One time my friend Morgan texted me that she was standing somewhere next to Rosario Dawson, and I think I became instantly excited. In my pants. And she wasn’t even really there.

She’s all over T Mag this week, talking about sex and gas:

My mom told me so much about sex at an early age that she scared me: I didn’t have sex until was 20. I got into trouble at school because one of my friends said, ‘‘Lesbians do it with straws.’’ I said, ‘‘I can tell you how lesbians do it, and there are no straws involved!’’ But I think all that talk of sex put me off. The first time I had it, I think it was in a head-to-toe rubber. I was terrified of getting pregnant. My mom was planning to get an abortion when she was pregnant with me. She was at the clinic waiting for her appointment and she felt me move in her stomach. I always tell her it was probably gas. I thank God for gas.

And how her mom used to lick her (at 2:30):


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Rosario Linkson

Ugliest The Hills girl, Audrina Patridge, is posing in a bikini again [Popsugar]
Jennifer Aniston still has nipples [Hollywood Tuna]
Katie Holmes pegged her jeans; needs slouch socks and white Keds [Dlisted]
Ashley Tisdale has reflector vectors [Just Jared]
Angelina Jolie might be Catwoman [Hollywood Rag]
Amanda Bynes goes for a jog [Popoholic]
Mischa Barton’s publicity stunt (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Demi Moore topless and large [City Rag]
Josh Hartnett thinks he’s Johnny Depp [Lainey Gossip]
Ali Lohan looks 45 years old [Egotastic]
Dark Knight Alternate Ending [College Humor]
Jade Goody panty upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Christina Milian is a fashion disaster [ASL]

Rosario Dawson yesterday at the annual HFPA luncheon:

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Rosario Dawson is Wet

These pictures of Rosario Dawson hosing herself off are a few days old now, but according to the “post all pictures of actresses in bikinis” clause in my contract, here’s Rosario Dawson in a bikini hosing herself off. I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I mentioned that she has huge boobs and that I’m pretending that she’s gripping that hose like my penis, so I won’t say that. Besides, that looks nothing like penis. After the first twelve inches, it curves at more of a 45-degree angle.

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