Don’t F*** With Sharon Osbourne

The Rock Of Love Charm School Reunion slutstravaganza was on this weekend, and when “Rodeo” and some large-breasted woman named Megan started sparring with Sharon Osbourne, I stood up in my chair, did a few cholo snaps and let out a nice big “Oh no you di’in’t!”

Look, this woman took her husband and managed to make him a household name for his music, then the star of one of the premiere reality shows in MTV’s history. Sure, Jack and Kelly Osbourne are little more than animated piles of fat and hair, but you don’t see me saying that to Sharon Osbourne’s face. Because that bitch will END you.

Getting some crap splashed on your white bikini and giant ta-tas is a small price to pay.

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Jes Isn’t Rocking Bret’s Love

In this day and age, it’s truly hard to find love. That’s why I really had my hopes up when VH1 decided to throw a 44 year old guy in a hair band in a room full of strippers and star-fuckers to see where their hearts led them. Oh well. Page Six reports:

Bret Michaels never even got started with the “girlfriend” he selected last season, Jes Rickleff. Sources tell The Post’s Melissa Jane Kronfeld that Michaels was informed by the pink-haired punk rocker over the phone that she had taken up with a Chicago clothing designer upon returning home to the windy city. VH1 has renewed “Rock of Love” for a second season, but has not announced if Michaels will be its heartthrob.”

This comes as a real shock man, because everybody knows reality shows are not known for being faked or staged. Every reality show except for Man vs. Wild. That guy doesn’t even try. I saw an episode one time where he said he was in Africa, then they pulled the camera back you could see cars and a house made out of bricks. You’re not fooling me, sir.

Here’s classy Rock of Love contestant, Brandi C. These are NSFW:

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