Petra Nemcova Loves Sean Penn

Sean Penn dated supermodel Petra Nemcova four months ago after he split from his wife, Robin Wright Penn. Sean and Robin have since then reconciled. Maybe somebody should tell Petra that. Rush & Molloy report:

Petra Nemcova has been turning a lot of heads at the Cannes Film Festival – but Sean Penn’s isn’t one of them. “She was flirting heavily with him at the Chopard party Friday,” says a spy. “Later, they went to party on a private yacht. Petra was dirty-dancing with a guy who works for Bono, but it looked like she was trying to get Sean’s attention.”…Penn was talking at the time with Penelope Cruz. But his crinkly eyes seemed fixed on Robin, who appeared to be captivated by whatever Petra was telling her. It wasn’t long before we saw Penn march over, take Robin by the elbow and lead her away, saying, “Come and meet my friend.”

Robin Wright Penn is pretty, but she always looks like people in Zoloft commercials before they take Zoloft. Whenever people talk to her, I get the feeling they have to make sure she’s still alive at some point.

Petra Nemcova at Cannes:

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Sean and Robin Wright Penn are Getting Divorced

Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn announced via their “People” that they’re divorcing after whatever amount of years and too long having been together, and thank God because they sucked as a couple. Sean Penn was loved when he was Spicoli, then he married Madonna and got angry and stuck up. Then he married The Princess Bride, turned into a self-important, egocentric prick, and made almost everyone hate him. It could be worse, though. He could be at the bottom of a lake. You can’t breathe there. Unless you’re a fish. I don’t think Sean Penn is a fish. Oh, God I hope he’s not a fish!

P.S: I’m glad Princess Robin followed my advice. Well done, Buttercup.

P.P.S.: See, I told you so.

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Madonna Leaves the Gym

Note to self: Divorce Sean Penn. This woman is ridiculous. 99% of the planet claims to hate her, but secretly loves her so much so that people skip rent and power bills to afford tickets to her consistently sold out concerts every time she’s on tour. She’s like your favorite pair of underwear which are shredded and stained, but so damn comfortable and have too many memories attached to just let go.

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