The 2018 Met Gala Was Last Night
The 2018 Met Gala Was Last Night

 

So, the 2018 Met Gala was last night. The night where celebrities get dressed up in utterly ridiculous shit and get their pictures taken under the pretense that they’re raising money for something. The theme this year was “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination,” so they all wore stuff with religious stuff on it or whatever. No think pieces about cultural appropriation yet from the Catholic Church. Anyway, they all looked dumb. Rihanna was the black Pope. Jared Leto offered a reward for Robin Hood. Lena Waithe wanted everyone to know she was gay if they didn’t already. Katy Perry wore wings. Tom Brady looked like he colonized Wakanda. Cardi B was Cardi B at an event. She looks like she has no idea where she it or why she’s there, but is just happy to be there (she won’t be invited back). Sarah Jessica Parker is 53 but looks 83. Kim Kardashian wore what she always wears. She has nothing else to offer. Every other dude there wore just a suit, and every other chick there wore something that would show off their boobs. But fashion’s big night or whatever.

 

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Rihanna Really Did The Grammys
Rihanna Really Did The Grammys

 

Hey, dudes. Before we get into everything else, here’s Rihanna at the 2018 Grammys on Sunday night. As you may have noticed, Rihanna has put on some weight and that’s fine. I think Rihanna is the only woman celebrity who can do that and we all just go along with it, because she’s hot either way. Like, Kelly Clarkson was also at the Grammys and she looks like a Southern celebrity chef now. Sometimes it just doesn’t work for some people. Buzzword buzzword body positivity blah blah buzzword whatever.

 

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Rihanna Is A Cosmetics Mogul Now
Rihanna Is A Cosmetics Mogul Now

 

Rihanna launched her debut cosmetics line, Fenty Beauty (Fenty is her last name), and it’s selling like hurricane insurance because it was specifically designed for dark-skinned women/gays. She also just revealed a Holiday Collection, so white women/gays will also be buying it now to seem woke/cool. White people love being black until a black person gets shot by police. You know how it is. But yeah, she went to the Fenty Beauty By Rihanna Paris Launch Party in Paris last night and wore what looks like a garbage bag, but it doesn’t matter because Rihanna can wear a garbage bag and still look good enough to eat. In the figurative sense.

 

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Rihanna Had Her 3rd Diamond Ball
Rihanna Had Her 3rd Diamond Ball

 

I just realized the title sounds like she ate it, but Rihanna‘s annual Diamond Ball is a charity event that’s so good Harvard named her Humanitarian Of The Year. Lots of people showed up. Beyonce (good LAWD), Emily Ratajkowski (of course), Cardi B (whatever), Jamie Foxx and Dave Chapelle (goat), and somebody named Imaan Hammam who I now might be in love with. Here’s some pics from the thing.

 

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Rihanna’s War On Bras Continues
Rihanna’s War On Bras Continues

 

In a 2014 interview with Vogue, Rihanna said the only time she wears a bra is when she’s wearing nothing else but a bra. If any other clothes are involved, she doesn’t wear a bra. This is why we continue to be blessed with pics like this. We live in a glorious time of Rihanna walking around without wearing a bra. Apologies to women who have to wear bras. You’re great as well. Also shout out to men who wear bras out of necessity and because you just like to wear bras. Also, shout out to bras themselves. Hopefully I covered everything for those of you who are still reading this post.

 

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Rihanna Did Crop Over Again
Rihanna Did Crop Over Again

 

It’s that time of year again, Rihanna is at Crop Over. Crop Over is something they do in Barbados that we only know about because Rihanna goes every year and dresses like this. If elected, I will make this a national holiday. Rihanna looks so hot here even Chris Brown commented. He also nearly beat her to death because she asked who he was texting one time. Not sure why he’s allowed to comment. Maybe she should try blocking him at least once.

 

the @aura_experience caught by @dennisleupold #BARBADOS #cropover2017 #culture

A post shared by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

 

We serve a gracious god:

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Rihanna’s Breasts Did The ‘Valerian’ European Premiere
Rihanna’s Breasts Did The ‘Valerian’ European Premiere

 

So Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets  isn’t doing so great at the box office. I guess if you’re planning on making a movie, casting Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne as your leads probably wouldn’t be the best idea. Save money by casting two pieces of bland white bread and gluing eyes on them. Or something that’s more boring than that. Not sure how it would work, but you could cast the movie Boyhood as your lead. This post is about Rihanna‘s boobs in this dress, so I guess we should talk about those. It appears to be some sort of push up thing that make her boobs look bigger. This site isn’t just about boobs, we also cover science things. Making women’s boobs look bigger has been a huge science thing for a while.

 

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Rihanna Did The ‘Valerian’ Premiere
Rihanna Did The ‘Valerian’ Premiere

 

Rihanna is playing a shape-shifting alien in Luc Besson’s Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets, and I was told by management not to discuss how Hollywood is blackwashing shape-shifting aliens for a casting gimmick. I guess I’m just too woke. But obviously, as you can see, Rihanna attended the premiere and she’s not a shape-shifting alien. It’s just a shame that so many filmmakers use human actors to portray aliens from different planets. This is very problematic. You can look at these pictures of Rihanna being hot in this dress if you want to, but you’re just perpetuating the lack of alien representation seen in movies today.

 

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Rihanna Is Boarding Thicc Airlines
Rihanna Is Boarding Thicc Airlines

 

Not sure if Get Out made people actually like TSA agents or not, but imagine being a TSA agent and working yesterday when Rihanna came through. The bald white dude in pic #1 liked it so much he followed her into pic #16. She’s only carrying a coat because ass is her carry on. Good lawd.

 

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Prepare For The Rihanna Outrage
Prepare For The Rihanna Outrage

 

Maybe they’re still upset about Kathy Griffin or women going to movies, but white conservatives will probably be pretty mad at Rihanna for posing in front of American flags and a target that says “Dead Presidents” at the Madeworn x Roc96 Pop-Up Event. Nobody tell them that means money. Let them boycott dead presidents or whatever they decide that’s just as dumb.

 

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