Rihanna Has Been Banging DiCaprio For Years

Rihanna is technically a model, and if you don’t consider her a model, she’s hotter that 80% of models, so naturally Leonardo DiCaprio’s penis has been inside her 80% of the way for years apparently.

We know that Leo and RiRi have had a flirty few weeks since they were spotted together on New Years Eve but apparently, the two have been hooking up for years according to Us. That would mean that Rihanna was sneaking around behind Chris Brown and Drake’s back to secretly hook up with Leo — yikes! Leo also had a relationship with Toni Garn during this time…”After his breakup, Leo started texting Rihanna again. They decided to have some fun,” a source said. “Neither one is looking to make this anything more than fun. He’s into her, and they’re enjoying it.”

Not only do Leonardo DiCaprio and Rihanna have life completely figured out, but when DiCaprio dies, his penis should have its own monument.

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Bar Refaeli Doesn’t Care That DiCaprio Banged Rihanna

DiCaprio went to Chuck Pacheco’s 30th birthday party at the Playboy Mansion on Saturday where he may or may not have hooked up with Rihanna. So TMZ decided it would be cool to ask one of DiCaprio’s ex-gf’s her thoughts on it while she was walking through the airport. It’s hard to tell in this video, but Bar Refaeli almost took out a broadsword and cut out this dude’s spinal cord to wear as a necklace.

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Rihanna Is Hosting Charities Now

 

WENN says this is Rihanna at “Rihanna’s 1st Diamond Ball Benefiting The Clara Lionel Foundation held at The Vineyard Beverly Hills”.  I would look up what that is, but I think people pretty much came to see Rihanna in this dress.

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Rihanna Did Esquire

Unlike Chris Brown, there’s only one thing of Rihanna’s I want to punch, but I guess it’s because I’ve never really hung out with her and only know her from videos and pictures like aliens and Bigfoot. But nothing has really changed on my end after seeing her shoot for Esquire. A lot of abortion clinics will be closing soon, so I’ll have to rethink my long term Rihanna plan I had all mapped out. Lemme get back to you guys on that one.

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Rihanna Was A Ninja Turtle

Although she’s never received training in the art of self-defense, Rihanna went as Sexy Ninja Turtle for Halloween, because whatever Rihanna wears makes you want to have sex with her. I normally don’t like reboot movies, but if they can remake TMNT tomorrow with Rihanna and Megan Fox, then I’d actually pay to see that. I may even go by myself. And sit in the back. And wear a long coat. No, only because it’s fall and movie theaters are pretty cold. Don’t make this weird.

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Rihanna Wore This

Rihanna attended the same even Miley Cyrus did, amfAR LA Inspiration Gala Honoring Tom Ford Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow, and please keep in mind, this was a charity event to stop AIDS. Last time I checked, unprotected sex is the best way to spread AIDS, so why is Rihanna wearing this? I would have unprotected sex with her is what I’m trying to say here. Like, right now if she asked. What, did she say something? Tell me exactly what she said word for word.

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Rihanna Might Be In The Next James Bond Movie
Rihanna Might Be In The Next James Bond Movie

 

At least she’ll be able to do her own stunts.

The ‘Umbrella’ singer has been approached by producers to star in the upcoming James Bond film alongside Daniel Craig, according to The Sunday Mirror. Bond 24 is expected to begin filming on December 6, and is due for a November 2015 release. Director Sam Mendes’ follow-up to Skyfall, which will see Daniel Craig return for his fourth film as the spy, has recently been in the process of a rewrite by long-time franchise writers Neal Purvis and Robert Wade.

Man, that was an overload of information, so I hope you were able to process it all. I was approached by a homeless man this morning. It was a followup to the Homeless Man Yesterday, when the same homeless man approached men. He is set to return as the star in Homeless Man Tomorrow. It is expected to begin filming at 7:30am tomorrow outside Starbucks. Man, this post sucks. Look at Rihanna’s boobs and sex hair in the banner pic though. That’s pretty interesting.

 
 

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Rihanna Hates CBS
Rihanna Hates CBS

 

The NFL rightfully deserves any and every amount of criticism thrown their way for their complete mishandling and systematic failure on dealing with the domestic violence that is running rampant in their league, and from the beginning of the Ray Rice incident, it was pretty clear to everyone that it was a compromised process and their response was more about protecting the vague and ambiguous “integrity of the shield” than protecting the victim. You can’t see what you saw in that video, suspend Rice for two games, then react to the public reaction by trying to take some moral high ground by suspending him indefinitely hoping that will be enough to stem the PR tide long enough for people to forget about it and move on. But as it turns out, people aren’t forgetting about it and it’s not going away. Enter last week’s Thursday Night Football game between the Ravens and Steelers on CBS. Because they wanted to jump at the chance to have a “serious tone” and briefly give a Nicholas Sparks speech about domestic violence before their viewers got to see grown men get irreparable brain damage and Budweiser ads for three hours, CBS yanked a musical segment featuring Rihanna.

“CBS you pulled my song last week, now you wanna slide it back in this Thursday? NO, F*** you! Y’all are sad for penalizing me for this.”…She followed that up by writing, “The audacity …”

You can say what you want about Rihanna, but ever since her own experience with domestic violence in 2009, she’s clearly reclaimed her life on her own terms, but five years later, while all of a sudden trying to be the  Domestic Violence Police, CBS just victimized a person who has worked extremely hard to reach a point in her life where she no longer has to identify herself as a victim. Great work, CBS. Maybe next time you can have a segment where Chris Brown walks through the stands and punches one lucky fan at random. Maybe Dr. Pepper or Capital One can be sponsors.

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Rihanna Hates America
Rihanna Hates America

 

Not only is she really hot and talented, but Rihanna is the greatest Twitter World Cup troll of our generation. She has no love for the US soccer team, because they suck and have to wait four years to suck again, so here she is partying with the German team after they only had to score once to beat Argentina. I don’t know how Fox News is going to report on this. They can’t call her a slut because she can afford her own birth control.

 

Rihanna Instagram

Rihanna Instagram

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