Rihanna’s New Video For ‘BBHMM’ Will Get You Fired

When I say Rihanna‘s new video for Bitch Better Have My Money will get you fired, that’s not hyperbole. I don’t know where you work exactly, but I assume they have a strict policy against torture and titties. And titties being tortured. Or listening to Rihanna songs. Again, this video is NSFW. I don’t know if I can stress that enough.

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Rihanna Had Her Album ‘R8′ Scrapped Because Her Singles Suck

You know that album Rihanna has worked on for two years? And you know those three songs that she put out recently that were all shit? Good. Because there won’t be an album with more.

Remember the singles that Rihanna released earlier this year? The three singles that were going to be on her upcoming R8 album? Well, those singles are just promo singles, until she releases three actual singles off her actual new album. Whenever that’s happening. After critics slammed RiRi for the lackluster sales of “FourFiveSeconds,” “B***h Betta Have My Money,” and “American Oxygen,” the singer may change her mind and declare those songs to be promo singles. That means those singles won’t be listed on Rihanna’s highly anticipated R8 album. They’re just promotional singles for the actual singles she’ll choose for her forthcoming album.

To be honest, I’d rather look at Rihanna than listen to her (here she is topless), so if she just wants to stop trying to make music, I’m sure that would be okay with with everyone. Especially Beyonce so she can finally stop checking Jay Z’s second phone.

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Rihanna Is Doing It Wrong

Rihanna was walking around NYC this weekend, and as you can see, she’s wearing a San Antonio Spurs jersey. You might also know that the San Antonio Spurs have been eliminated from the playoffs. She probably bought this jersey off Craiglist from Bieber after they won the championship last year. He now has a Clippers and a Cavaliers jersey saved in his wishlist. Also, Drake is circling players he wants to hug.

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Rihanna Wore This To The MET Gala

Yeah, so Rihanna showed up to the MET Gala looking like Tyler Perry Presents Beauty And The Beast. Like, how big of a dick to you have to be to wear  a train or whatever that long? I hope there wasn’t a pool or a body of water at this place because black can’t swim as it is. I don’t know. This just looks incredibly dangerous. Even if there is a lifeguard she should still use the buddy system and remain cognizant of water safety.

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Rihanna In V Magazine Says Good Morning, Links

Selena Gomez has a massive cameltoe   The Superficial

Kate Moss and her hard nipples for W Magazine  Drunken Stepfather

Chelsea Kane forgot her bra  (NSFW site) Taxi Driver Movie

John Travolta has a message for the haters  Dlisted

Nina Agdal belongs in a bikini  Hollywood Tuna

Blake Lively’s rack is falling out  Popoholic

Katie Cassidy is still in a bikini   Celebslam

Kelly Brook went on a hike in this   Moe Jackson

IDLYITW [Facebook] [Twitter]

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Here’s Rihanna Snorting Coke

If you’re wondering how Rihanna can drop a new song seemingly every two weeks and most of them be shit, I guess we have our answer. Cocaine. She does a shitload of cocaine. This story also makes a lot more sense now. You know Jay has better coke than suburban high school house parties.

 

Rihanna snorting coke now smh #shedanextwhitney

A video posted by EAZY MONEY AKA YOLO HOFFA (@1ezmoney) on

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Rihanna Is A Great Singer

Let me preface this by saying that Rihanna is very pretty and “ft. Rihanna” has probably been the most written phrase since 2010 besides “sorry my phone died”.  I’d just rather not look at her while she sings live, because that would mean I’d have to sit through her performance of “American Oxygen” at the March Madness Festival. To be honest, I’d rather hear Frank Kaminsky say “fuck that nigga” on that bridge in Selma.

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This Is Rihanna’s New Album Cover I Guess
This Is Rihanna’s New Album Cover I Guess

Is the Braille for when her eyebrows grow over he eyes? I don’t get it. I wish I could write more, but I honestly can’t look at this picture anymore. Rihanna looks like my neighbor Gerald who fixes cars. His pit bull is named Menthol.

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Cara Delevigne Snatched Naomi Campbell’s Weave Over Rihanna

You have two options. 1.) Read the rest of this post 2.) Read the headline over and over again.

The two models apparently got into a fight over their mutual friend Rihanna while at a chic party for Dasha Zhukova’s Garage Magazine at Paris club Castel Sunday night. A witness told Page Six, “Naomi accused Cara of ‘disrespecting’ Rihanna and started yelling, ­before Naomi pushed Cara, who pushed back.” Another witness added, “Cara pulled Naomi’s weave, but it didn’t come off.” Naomi and Cara, along with Rihanna, have been spotted together at events for Paris Fashion Week. But the witness said, “Naomi was angry because she felt Cara had said something negative about Rihanna.” A separate source said Naomi, 44, unexpectedly started ranting at Cara, 22, at the glamorous bash, with guests including Bianca Brandolini and Lauren Santo Domingo. The source said, “It was a noisy and packed party. Naomi was saying all these nonsensical things, she was ranting. There was a messy pushing match. Cara didn’t understand because there’s no problem between her and Rihanna. Cara didn’t want to be involved and was telling Naomi, ‘Get away from me!’ ”

Much like Georgia May Jagger (nice teeth, Punxsutawney Grill), Cara Delevigne really has no business being a model, so when she snatches an actual supermodel’s weave, I have no choice but to take Naomi Campbell‘s side. Mostly because she’s insane. And to be honest? Who wouldn’t fight over this? I beat up somebody in Panera Bread once, I’m not above it.

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DiCaprio Made Out With A Blonde Model In Front Of Rihanna

Hey, remember when Leonardo DiCaprio was banging Rihanna then she said he should drop a few pounds? Good times, good times.

DiCaprio was spotted hanging with a blonde model at 1Oak in L.A. on Saturday, February 7 — and they were definitely more than friends. “They were making out,” an insider tells Radar, and they didn’t care who saw — even though Rihanna was only feet away! “Rihanna was at the owner, Richie Akiva’s table, downstairs,” an insider tells Radar exclusively. “Leo was at a separate table. He had his own by the DJ booth.”

Rihanna wasn’t called put for her body shaming, but I’m almost certain that it hurt Leonardo DiCaprio’s feelings so much that he developed an eating disorder and felt pressure by the media with the proliferation of the Magic Mike II trailer. He probably hid food under his bed while he scrolled through Tumblr quotes about inner beauty. lol jk he banged another model.

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