This Is Rihanna’s New Album Cover I Guess
This Is Rihanna’s New Album Cover I Guess

 

Is the Braille for when her eyebrows grow over he eyes? I don’t get it. I wish I could write more, but I honestly can’t look at this picture anymore. Rihanna looks like my neighbor Gerald who fixes cars. His pit bull is named Menthol.

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Cara Delevigne Snatched Naomi Campbell’s Weave Over Rihanna

You have two options. 1.) Read the rest of this post 2.) Read the headline over and over again.

The two models apparently got into a fight over their mutual friend Rihanna while at a chic party for Dasha Zhukova’s Garage Magazine at Paris club Castel Sunday night. A witness told Page Six, “Naomi accused Cara of ‘disrespecting’ Rihanna and started yelling, ­before Naomi pushed Cara, who pushed back.” Another witness added, “Cara pulled Naomi’s weave, but it didn’t come off.” Naomi and Cara, along with Rihanna, have been spotted together at events for Paris Fashion Week. But the witness said, “Naomi was angry because she felt Cara had said something negative about Rihanna.” A separate source said Naomi, 44, unexpectedly started ranting at Cara, 22, at the glamorous bash, with guests including Bianca Brandolini and Lauren Santo Domingo. The source said, “It was a noisy and packed party. Naomi was saying all these nonsensical things, she was ranting. There was a messy pushing match. Cara didn’t understand because there’s no problem between her and Rihanna. Cara didn’t want to be involved and was telling Naomi, ‘Get away from me!’ ”

Much like Georgia May Jagger (nice teeth, Punxsutawney Grill), Cara Delevigne really has no business being a model, so when she snatches an actual supermodel’s weave, I have no choice but to take Naomi Campbell‘s side. Mostly because she’s insane. And to be honest? Who wouldn’t fight over this? I beat up somebody in Panera Bread once, I’m not above it.

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DiCaprio Made Out With A Blonde Model In Front Of Rihanna

Hey, remember when Leonardo DiCaprio was banging Rihanna then she said he should drop a few pounds? Good times, good times.

DiCaprio was spotted hanging with a blonde model at 1Oak in L.A. on Saturday, February 7 — and they were definitely more than friends. “They were making out,” an insider tells Radar, and they didn’t care who saw — even though Rihanna was only feet away! “Rihanna was at the owner, Richie Akiva’s table, downstairs,” an insider tells Radar exclusively. “Leo was at a separate table. He had his own by the DJ booth.”

Rihanna wasn’t called put for her body shaming, but I’m almost certain that it hurt Leonardo DiCaprio’s feelings so much that he developed an eating disorder and felt pressure by the media with the proliferation of the Magic Mike II trailer. He probably hid food under his bed while he scrolled through Tumblr quotes about inner beauty. lol jk he banged another model.

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Here’s The “FourFiveSeconds” Video
Here’s The “FourFiveSeconds” Video

 

I’m not going to pretend that I know what “FourFiveSeconds” is about or if Paul McCartney knows who any of these people are, but here’s the video. It stars lush black and white cinematography and Rihanna‘s massive forehead. When she dies, she’s gonna donate it to Barbados for her people to use as a movie theater screen. I don’t think they have those there.

 

 

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Rihanna Posted Some Of The “FourFiveSeconds” Video
Rihanna Posted Some Of The “FourFiveSeconds” Video

 

Remember that song “FourFiveSeconds” Rihanna dropped with Kanye and that new guy Paul McCartney? It’s pretty dope. Anyway, Rihanna posted a sneak peek of the video on Instagram last night. I hope Paul McCartney wins and this video looks great so far, but I think Missy Elliot is a lock for Best New Artist.

 

 

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Rihanna Has Been Banging DiCaprio For Years

Rihanna is technically a model, and if you don’t consider her a model, she’s hotter that 80% of models, so naturally Leonardo DiCaprio’s penis has been inside her 80% of the way for years apparently.

We know that Leo and RiRi have had a flirty few weeks since they were spotted together on New Years Eve but apparently, the two have been hooking up for years according to Us. That would mean that Rihanna was sneaking around behind Chris Brown and Drake’s back to secretly hook up with Leo — yikes! Leo also had a relationship with Toni Garn during this time…”After his breakup, Leo started texting Rihanna again. They decided to have some fun,” a source said. “Neither one is looking to make this anything more than fun. He’s into her, and they’re enjoying it.”

Not only do Leonardo DiCaprio and Rihanna have life completely figured out, but when DiCaprio dies, his penis should have its own monument.

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Bar Refaeli Doesn’t Care That DiCaprio Banged Rihanna

DiCaprio went to Chuck Pacheco’s 30th birthday party at the Playboy Mansion on Saturday where he may or may not have hooked up with Rihanna. So TMZ decided it would be cool to ask one of DiCaprio’s ex-gf’s her thoughts on it while she was walking through the airport. It’s hard to tell in this video, but Bar Refaeli almost took out a broadsword and cut out this dude’s spinal cord to wear as a necklace.

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Rihanna Is Hosting Charities Now

 

WENN says this is Rihanna at “Rihanna’s 1st Diamond Ball Benefiting The Clara Lionel Foundation held at The Vineyard Beverly Hills”.  I would look up what that is, but I think people pretty much came to see Rihanna in this dress.

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Rihanna Did Esquire

Unlike Chris Brown, there’s only one thing of Rihanna’s I want to punch, but I guess it’s because I’ve never really hung out with her and only know her from videos and pictures like aliens and Bigfoot. But nothing has really changed on my end after seeing her shoot for Esquire. A lot of abortion clinics will be closing soon, so I’ll have to rethink my long term Rihanna plan I had all mapped out. Lemme get back to you guys on that one.

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Rihanna Was A Ninja Turtle

Although she’s never received training in the art of self-defense, Rihanna went as Sexy Ninja Turtle for Halloween, because whatever Rihanna wears makes you want to have sex with her. I normally don’t like reboot movies, but if they can remake TMNT tomorrow with Rihanna and Megan Fox, then I’d actually pay to see that. I may even go by myself. And sit in the back. And wear a long coat. No, only because it’s fall and movie theaters are pretty cold. Don’t make this weird.

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