Remember on Sunday when Memphis Grizzlies’ forward Matt Barnes told TMZ he was maybe dating Rihanna and they wanted to “see where it goes” then Rihanna went on Instagram and thought his name was Felicia? That was fun. So, like, why would he say that? According to his ex-teammate, Glen Davis, the leading theory now is that Matt Barnes has a Rihanna doll made out of a basketball and horse hair that he browses Airbnb with.
Rihanna has been blowing up her Instagram with pics from her yearly trip to Barbados for Carnival on Kadooment Day. These are those pics. In case you were unaware, Carnival (or Crop Over Festival) is a traditional harvest festival. They celebrate a harvest by women getting in bikinis with jewels on them then the women grind on you and each other. They seems to have it really figured out in Barbados. KFC just introduced a pizza with a fried chicken crust, so America has that going for it, I guess.
When I say Rihanna‘s new video for Bitch Better Have My Money will get you fired, that’s not hyperbole. I don’t know where you work exactly, but I assume they have a strict policy against torture and titties. And titties being tortured. Or listening to Rihanna songs. Again, this video is NSFW. I don’t know if I can stress that enough.
You know that album Rihanna has worked on for two years? And you know those three songs that she put out recently that were all shit? Good. Because there won’t be an album with more.
Remember the singles that Rihanna released earlier this year? The three singles that were going to be on her upcoming R8 album? Well, those singles are just promo singles, until she releases three actual singles off her actual new album. Whenever that’s happening. After critics slammed RiRi for the lackluster sales of “FourFiveSeconds,” “B***h Betta Have My Money,” and “American Oxygen,” the singer may change her mind and declare those songs to be promo singles. That means those singles won’t be listed on Rihanna’s highly anticipated R8 album. They’re just promotional singles for the actual singles she’ll choose for her forthcoming album.
To be honest, I’d rather look at Rihanna than listen to her (here she is topless), so if she just wants to stop trying to make music, I’m sure that would be okay with with everyone. Especially Beyonce so she can finally stop checking Jay Z’s second phone.
Rihanna was walking around NYC this weekend, and as you can see, she’s wearing a San Antonio Spurs jersey. You might also know that the San Antonio Spurs have been eliminated from the playoffs. She probably bought this jersey off Craiglist from Bieber after they won the championship last year. He now has a Clippers and a Cavaliers jersey saved in his wishlist. Also, Drake is circling players he wants to hug.
Yeah, so Rihanna showed up to the MET Gala looking like Tyler Perry Presents Beauty And The Beast. Like, how big of a dick to you have to be to wear a train or whatever that long? I hope there wasn’t a pool or a body of water at this place because black can’t swim as it is. I don’t know. This just looks incredibly dangerous. Even if there is a lifeguard she should still use the buddy system and remain cognizant of water safety.
Selena Gomez has a massive cameltoe The Superficial
Kate Moss and her hard nipples for W Magazine Drunken Stepfather
Chelsea Kane forgot her bra (NSFW site) Taxi Driver Movie
John Travolta has a message for the haters Dlisted
Nina Agdal belongs in a bikini Hollywood Tuna
Blake Lively’s rack is falling out Popoholic
Katie Cassidy is still in a bikini Celebslam
Kelly Brook went on a hike in this Moe Jackson
If you’re wondering how Rihanna can drop a new song seemingly every two weeks and most of them be shit, I guess we have our answer. Cocaine. She does a shitload of cocaine. This story also makes a lot more sense now. You know Jay has better coke than suburban high school house parties.
Let me preface this by saying that Rihanna is very pretty and “ft. Rihanna” has probably been the most written phrase since 2010 besides “sorry my phone died”. I’d just rather not look at her while she sings live, because that would mean I’d have to sit through her performance of “American Oxygen” at the March Madness Festival. To be honest, I’d rather hear Frank Kaminsky say “fuck that nigga” on that bridge in Selma.