Reggie Bush Married This On Saturday

Hey, remember when Reggie Bush was dating Kim Kardashian then they broke up, then he basically started dating Kim Kardashian with a better face and way better body? Yeah, her name is Lilit Avagyan and she married Reggie Bush this weekendKim’s half-brother Brody Jenner was there, but he skipped Kim’s wedding. Why? Because Kim is a horrible human being and didn’t invite Jenner’s girlfriend Kaitlynn Carter, because Tom Cruise forbid that somebody attend Kim’s wedding who looks better than her. Whatever. This post is about Lilit Avagyan’s rack. Enjoy.

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Kim Kardashian’s Ex-Publicist: Her “Wedding Was Staged”

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Jonathan Jaxson, Kim Kardashian’s publicist from 2007 to 2009, was on something called The Elvis Duran Morning Show yesterday where he basically said she can’t even take a shit without a script or a producer in a van giving her stage directions through a headset. NYP reports:

Kim Kardashian is a master of media manipulation, claims her former publicist Jonathan Jaxson. Jaxson, who worked with Kardashian from 2007 to 2009, says that he believes Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Humphries was staged. “I staged several of the moments that the world has seen of her, such as a ring that we alleged was from Reggie Bush,” Jaxson claimed. “It was December 26, 2007 — I remember the day. She was going to go shopping with her grandmother and her mom and we said, ‘Let’s do something to get more press for you.’ She said, ‘Perfect. Let me go to a ring store and walk out as if Reggie Bush were proposing to me … I have ring I love and adore — it’s seven carats. I’ll keep it in my purse.'” He says the stunt went off without a hitch. “It was calculated to a T and then it was leaked to a magazine,” he said. Despite this, Jaxson claims Bush was not in on the publicity stunts, and alleges that when he got wise to Kardashian’s antics, he chose to end their relationship. Jaxson says he began working with Kardashian the day her sex tape broke, and says he believes that it was not leaked with Kardashian’s knowledge, although he noted that she “wasn’t devastated by any means.” Jaxson furthermore claims to have built Kardashian’s image, alongside her sisters’, and says fame was always her goal.

The blacklash against this den of Armenian whores in the recent weeks has been brutal and has made the world a better place. In fact, I just walked outside and saw a rose growing through concrete. And a unicorn pulling a wagon full of kittens. Then the sun winked at me. Then an elderly Mexican dragon walked from behind a tree and read me a book about the importance of sharing.

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Kim Kardashian Is Suing Old Navy

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Six months ago, singer/actress (talented) Melissa Molinaro (banner pic) starred in commercials for Old Navy’s Super C-U-T-E campaign. And since she has black hair, brown eyes, and a tan, people said she kinda looked like amateur porn star/reality show whore (untalented) Kim Kardashian. Kardashian was completely fine with all this until last month. Last month when it was revealed that college cheat/average NFL running back (can’t take a hit) Reggie Bush was dating Melissa Molinaro after he dumped Kim Kardashian. Now Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for $20 million, because OMG, FUCK THAT BITCH! OH, NO SHE DIDN’T! KOURTNEY HOLD MY EARRINGS! TMZ reports:

There is only ONE Kim Kardashian — and now she’s declaring a legal war on Old Navy for using a Kim K look-alike in a recent ad campaign … TMZ has learned. Kim is filing a lawsuit against the clothing giant — claiming they intentionally used a look-alike in an effort to dupe the public into thinking Kim was affiliated with Old Navy. We’re told Kim is especially furious that Old Navy has been tweeting to her page about the look-alike — in an effort to gain even more publicity. One of those tweets read, “@CBSNEWS reports that Old Navy’s Super CUTE star looks like @kimkardashian. #LOL. What do you think?” We’re told Kim believes the copycat campaign has damaged her wallet somewhere in the range of $15 to $20 million.

Oh, please. If Old Navy wanted Kim Kardashian they would have hired Kim Kardashian. Because the Kardashians are whores who will put their name on anything. They don’t need to hire a fake Kim Kardashian because the real Kim Kardashian will blow everyone in the room if it means she’ll be on television for five minutes. If it’s longer than five minutes, she’ll call in Kendall to lick your balls. She only licks because Kris is saving “unlimited sodomy” for a special contract.

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Kim Shot First

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Kim Kardashian has been frolicking in bikinis lately, sexily playing the victim after it was reported that she and Reggie Bush split because he was cheating on her. Maybe it’s because she was banging Kanye West the whole time.

You’ve been hearing that Kim and Reggie broke up because she was pressuring him to get married. Well that WASN’T IT!!! MediaTakeOut.com learned the REAL reason Reggie Bush dumped Kim Kardashian – because she SLEPT with Kanye West!!! Here’s what happened. According to an EXTREMELY RELIABLE insider, Reggie and Kim were on the road to getting married. Reggie even went so far as buying her a ring, and was waiting for the right time and place to pop the question. Well one day, Reggie was using Kim’s laptop when all of a sudden some IMs came over . . . from Kanye WEST!!!. And Reggie played it cool and answered them like he was Kim. And come to find out that Kanye and Kim were GETTING IT POPPIN for many months – ALL BEHIND REGGIE’S BACK!! The insider told MediaTakeOut.com that Reggie confronted Kim about the text messages, and she ADMITTED to having the affair. Once Reggie heard that . . . he LEFT HER AZZ!!!

MediaTakeout brings the fuckin fury with the caps lock key and uses the phrase, “LEFT HER AZZ!!!”, so it’s unclear if any of this is true. I choose to believe it is, because they tell me it’s from an EXTREMELY RELIABLE insider. You hear that? EXTREMELY RELIABLE!!! Just like the emergency pregnancy test I had in my nightstand!!

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Kim Kardashian Is Relaxing



Apparently on vacation from wearing a bikini and letting people take her picture, Kim Kardashian is on vacation in Costa Rica wearing a bikini and letting people take pictures of her. I assume she’s with Reggie Bush, but I can’t really tell. The dude in this picture has a really great tan, but I thought black dudes went to the beach wearing socks and Timberlands and maybe carrying a hand towel. Sorry, I’m so confused right now.

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Kim Kardashian Is Getting Married Too



Apparently inspired by her sister Kong’s shotgun wedding to LA Laker’s forward, Lamar Odom, Kim Kardashian cornered Reggie Bush and nagged him until he said yes. National Enquirer reports:

Inspired by sister Khloe’s extravagant “wedding”, Kim Kardashian has secretly started planning her own wedding to BF Reggie Bush, say sources. Kim and the New Orleans Saints running back – who split in July amid charges they had both cheated – are back together and happier than ever after rekindling their love affair in August, say friends of the couple. “Kim and Reggie haven’t looked back since reuniting,” said a friend of the couple. “They’re already making wedding plans.” Kim is the one who popped the question – sort of. “After they got back together, Kim was determined to pin him down on marriage,” explained the friend. “So while visiting him in New Orleans following Khloe’s wedding, Kim brought up the subject of walking down the aisle. “She was totally surprised when Reggie said, ‘Yes, let’s do it!'”

Man, I hope I get invited to this wedding. Especially for the giftbags. I’ve always wanted to try Swisher Sweets and cocoa butter.

I know I’ve said it before, but this can be the only possible reason he said yes:

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Kim Kardashian Is Single



If you’re a rapper or a marginal NFL player, congrats dude, today is your lucky day! Star Magazine reports:

Kim Kardashian made no secret of her intention to wed her NFL star beau of two years Reggie Bush. But it wasn’t to be. “Kim and Reggie split up today,” her rep Jill Fritzo tells Star. “There was no cheating involved.” Sources tell star the Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ star and the New Orleans Saints running back couldn’t find time for romance due to their busy schedules.

Don’t get excited white dudes. I don’t know if you knew this our not, but Kourtney is the only Kardashian that doesn’t like black guys. Kim and Kong have gotten off more black dudes than Abraham Lincoln, so sorry about your luck, man. If you’re white, and you somehow find your penis in Kim’s mouth, you might want to cover your ears. Because it will be obvious at that point that The Jigsaw Killer is about to give her instructions.

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Kim Kardashian Isn’t Engaged



Yesterday, Kim Kardashian’s publicist, whose job it is to keep this whore’s name in the news, “mistakenly” told Star Magazine that Kim Kardashian was engaged to New Orleans Saints running back, Reggie Bush. Almost immediately, she took to her blog to deny the story. Oh, my! What controversy!

“I am not engaged!!! My new publicist was talking with Star Magazine earlier today and accidently referred to Reggie as my fiance so they posted the news on their website! There have been so many rumors flying around recently about Reggie and I being engaged that she assumed we were! So, sorry Star Magazine for ruining your exclusive! It’s totally my publicist’s fault haha. She said she gets so many wedding
requests she thought we were actually engaged. The rumors about me picking out my ring recently are also not true! I don’t know where all this comes from!! Don’t worry guys, you will be the first to know if and when I get engaged!!… Well after I tell my family, of course! .

Who knows if these two are engaged or not. I poured myself a drink and stepped out on my balcony to ponder it, but as it turns out, I don’t give a fuck.

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Kim Kardashian And Reggie Bush Are Easter Incarnate

This is what Easter looks like when it’s about the grand opening party at Opium at the Seminole hard Rock Hotel and casino and mild groin-itch that is jusssssst subtle enough to not go to the doctor about.

Just look how high psyched Reggie is.

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This Looks Heavy

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Kim Kardashian would jack off a giraffe if she thought it would give her camera time, so imagine what she said when GQ asked her to pose all slutty all over her boyfriend, Saints running back Reggie Bush? The answer may shock you, but not as much as her candid interview inside, where she discusses everything in her exciting life from brushing her hair 100 times in the mirror and finding jeans that fit. And he was shy at first, but when asked about the banner picture, Bush said that yes, his biceps had to be fused with reinforced steel. Man, I can’t believe it! The magic of Hollywood!

Since they’re not the hi-res, you can see the rest of this pictures here. *SPOILER* Kim has a gigantic ass.

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