Philip Seymour Hoffman Is A Dick
Philip Seymour Hoffman Is A Dick

 

Does Obamacare cover years of intense psychotherapy? If so, somebody let his kids know.

Philip Seymour Hoffman had amassed quite the estate after 25 years in the business and when he died tragically on Feb. 2 of a heroin overdose, he had his estate in order per his exact wishes. According to probate documents filed in New York City and obtained Monday by E! News, Hoffman had told his former accountant that he “did not want his children to be considered ‘trust fund’ kids,” and therefore left the entirety of his reported $35 million estate to his partner Mimi O’Donnell. David Friedman, who had advised Hoffman in financial matters, told attorney James H. Hill that the Capote star had told him as recently as one year before his death that his wishes had not changed as far as leaving all the money to Mimi, knowing she’d be raising their children with that money.

Sure, Philip Seymour Hoffman was a fantastic actor, but let’s be real for a minute. He didn’t die “tragically”. He died because he was a heroin junkie. That’s pretty high on the list of things that can be easily avoided. He also apparently wants to teach his kids a valuable lesson by allowing them to grow up without a father, who on the way to the grave, told them to fuck off one last time by denying them any benefits of the career that took him away from them in the first place. I feel like my extensive use of pronouns in this post makes it lose some of its power. Anyway, dick move bro.

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Philip Seymour Hoffman Died
Philip Seymour Hoffman Died

 

He was 46. Well shit. Deadline reports:

Oscar-winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman has died… According to NYPD, Hoffman was discovered Sunday morning in his Manhattan home after suffering an apparent drug overdose. Police were called to the scene around 11:30 AM by Hoffman’s friend who found the actor non-responsive in the bathroom of the apartment this morning, according to NYPD, which said that a hypodermic needle and two glassine envelopes containing what appeared to be heroin were found in the fourth-floor apartment. Police would not confirm the name of the friend who found Hoffman. An autopsy will be performed and results could take  some time for toxicology reports to become available.

I'm not going to sit here and canonize this guy, because in reality, Hoffman was just a heroin addict who got paid to read words that a screenwriter wrote. It's not a particularly new or unique story. But I'm not going to marginalize or deal in sweeping generalities here either. In 20 years, Hoffman starred in over 60 movies, and in those, you would be hard pressed to find a single bad performance. Even if the movie was terrible (Along Came Polly, Twister, Red Dragon, Mission Impossible III) He read the words, but he also transcended them. Though he was a fat, balding white dude, there wasn't a role he couldn't play. If you watch Boogie Nights and can't feel every last bit of pain and heartache at Scottie J's unrequited crush on Dirk Diggler, or if you watch The Master and aren't creeped out by the overwhelming sense of dread whenever Lancaster Dodd is on screen, you might want to go to the ER. You might be dead yourself.

 

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Johnny Depp is The Riddler



In what may be the biggest casting spoiler in recent film history, Michael Caine has revealed that Johnny Depp and Philip Seymour Hoffman will be playing the two villains in the sequel to The Dark Knight, reportedly titled, Gotham. Director Christopher Nolan has been in hiding since TDK’s release, and has been notoriously secretive and non-committal about a possible sequel. That all changed when Caine gave an interview at the Toronto Film Festival on Monday. Splash Page MTV reports:

In an interview with MTV News conducted just hours ago at the Toronto Film Festival, Michael Caine – there to promote “Is There Anybody There?” – seemed to confirm rumors that the next installment of the “Batman” film franchise will feature two very well-known names playing the roles of The Riddler and The Penguin. “They’ve already got them in mind,” said Caine, when asked who he’d like to see take up arms against the Caped Crusader. “It’s Johnny Depp as The Riddler. And The Penguin is Philip Seymour Hoffman. I read it in the paper.” So Caine is like the rest of us, reading gossip in the tabloids, right? Except for one thing…according to the actor, he confirmed the news through the studio itself. “I was with [a Warner Bros.] executive and I said, ‘Are we going to make another one?’ They said yeah. I said, ‘How the hell are we going to top Heath? And he says ‘I’ll tell you how you top Heath – Johnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin.’ I said, ‘Shit, they’ve done it again!”

Wow, does MTV News sanction waterboarding during their interviews now? It certainly appears so, because Michael Caine gave that information up pretty quickly. The only way he should have said any of this is if his balls were hooked up to a car battery.

Update: Hoffman is denying these rumors here. Apparently Michael Caine is senile.

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