This Just Happened

 

Proving once and for all he's a changed man who no longer gets consumed with anger at the slightest insult, Chris Brown just started a Twitter war with Perez Hilton, who incidentally, is still a vile human being who looks like a cartoon reporter. But the real loser here has to be Jenny Johnson. It only took a few minutes for Chris Brown to respond to Perez Hilton, not three years of constant trolling. I hope she writes another GQ article so she can tell us how much she doesn't want to talk about it.

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Perez Hilton Even Kisses Celebrity Wax Sculptures’ Asses



When you’re a vile and loathsome human being who made a living drawing cum on celebrities’ faces then hired ghostwriters and turned into a squealing fangirl once they invited you to the party, of course you’ll show up at the unveiling of Kim Kardashian‘s wedding-themed wax figure at Madame Tussauds in a fucking tuxedo. Haha, because you’re going to marry it, right?! Oh, Perez! We see what you did there! I swear, can’t decide which thing in these pictures I’d punch in the face first.

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Perez Hilton Wrote A Children’s Book

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If this book isn’t illustrated with MS Paint and semen, then I’m not really sure what the point of any of this. Oh, it’s called “The Boy With The Pink Hair”. Perez says in USA Today

“This story is about every kid that’s ever had a dream, felt excluded, wanted to belong, and hoped that one day they could do what they loved and make a difference,” says Hilton in a release.

In Penguin’s press release they given us deeper insight into this gay shit. LA Times reports:

“The Boy With Pink Hair” is the story of a child born with a shock of fabulous hair that sets him apart from his peers. While some find this difference hard to accept or understand, “The Boy With Pink Hair” uses the opportunity to find what makes him special and share it with the world. The children’s book is illustrated with vibrant retro-feeling art by first-time illustrator Jen Hill, putting into pictures the fun that comes with embracing individuality

“The Boy With Pink Hair”, a tale of acceptance and rainbow dreams, is basically a subversive tactic designed as a children’s book that should just be called “The Boy With Pink Hair Who Likes To Experiment With Things Up His Ass And Your Child Should, Too Because It’s Fabulous”. Of course, lost in all this is the fact that, since 2004, Perez has been one of the most vicious and evil bullies ever to exist on the Internet. Who justified it to himself and the media by saying he was doing it for the good of the gay community. Then a few gay kids killed themselves, then all of a sudden bullying was wrong and should be outlawed. Whatever. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and The Advocate hate him, so if you really think he’s doing to for the betterment of the world, you’re a fucking idiot. Sorry. I don’t know how else to say it. But at least Britney has a new concert coming up. That should make you feel better.

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Twitter Ruins Everything


Ciara ran into Rihanna at a party. Rihanna wasn’t nice. Because she gets more press, Perez Hilton sided with her. All of this happened over Twitter.E! Online says:

In this episode of Twitter smackdown, it’s Ri-Ri vs. Ci-Ci.

The two singing divas (and former Chris Brown lovers) went at it yesterday after Ciara brought up Rihanna
on our very own Fashion Police.

“I ran into her recently at a party. She wasn’t the nicest,” Ciara told the Joan Rivers-led panel. “It’s crazy, because I’ve always loved and respected what she’s done in fashion. It wasn’t the most pleasant run-in.”

Well, Ri-Ri wasn’t too pleased.

She tweeted: “My bad Ci, did I forget to tip you? How rude of me….You gangsta huh? Ha.”

And so it began!

Ciara came back with: “Trust me Rihanna you don’t want to see me on or off the stage.”

“Good luck with bookin that stage you speak of,” Rihanna tweeted. Ouch!

But apparently Ciara found that funny, replying with: “Pure comedy.”

It didn’t stop there! The biggest diva of them all, Perez Hilton, decided to join in, backing up Rihanna.

He tweets: “@ciara It obviously wasn’t funny to her. It was hurtful. @Rihanna has had a difficult week.”

“@ciara And I’m sure your week has been difficult too, publicly proclaiming that your label doesn’t support you and you want to be dropped.”

Dang!

Eventually the beef became too much, and Ri-Ri decided to make amends.

“Ciara baby, I love you girl!” she tweeted. “You hurt my feelings real bad on TV! I’m heartbroken! That’s why I retaliated this way! So sorry! Let’s make up.”

Perez chimes in: “@ciara She extended an olive branch to you now and is being the bigger person. Accept it and move on. Or stay petty and less successful.”

What else could Ciara do but reply with: “Ri, u know its always been love since day 1! Doing shows and everything. You threw me off in that party! Apology accepted. Let’s chat in person.”

Of course, Perez was happy with the outcome too.

“@ciara Good! #LoveAndLight Now if only @NICKIMINAJ and @LilKim could make peace too!”

Rihanna and Ciara got into a catfight and Perez Hilton appointed himself as their mediator. Fuck technology. This would have been a lot more entertaining if it was dealt with the old fashioned way. The way that ends with broken nails, missing weaves, and a hate crime.

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Ryan Murphy And Perez Hilton Aren’t Done Whining

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You thought I was done with this story didn’t you? Haha, fooled you! A team of ghostwriters because Perez is too busy kissing ass and starfucking report:

When creator Ryan Murphy was asked how he felt about Kings of Leon’s rejection to his invitation to cover their music on the show, Ryan unapologetically rehashed his disappointment with the band’s ignorance to arts education. If that isn’t the most glaring example of homophobia, we don’t know what is. We’re appalled. We also have Ryan’s response to Mr. Followill, in an exclusive email he sent to us just moments ago. Take a look, Nathan. This is how an upstanding gentlemen handles your kind of behavior. Ryan tells us:

“Just read Nathan Followill’s Tweet…in which he implied I should ‘get a manicure and buy a bra.’ Wow. That’s a homophobe badly in need of some education. I’m all for manicures, don’t wear a bra. Would guess most gay dudes don’t. But it’s telling that Nathan can reduce a group of people to a mean-spirited cliché, in a time where young gay men are killing themselves all over the country because of hatred like this.”

That said, I would love to sit down with Nathan or any member of Kings and Leon, and tell them how on Glee we actually love their music, and support their artistry…but cannot condone or even laugh at their clear disdain of gay people. ” Neither can we! We’re shocked those cruel, stereotypical thoughts even crossed his mind, let alone made it onto the Internet. Shame on you, Nathan.

Ryan Murphy can continue to wrap himself in his bedazzled flag of “I’m fighting against ignorance to arts education” if he wants, but in reality, this asshole got told no, and he lost it. And when Nathan Followill called his ass out on it, he did what all good gay drama queens do: He immediately cried homophobe and passive aggressively martyred himself as the persecuted victim. And of course, Perez Hilton sent an email to his ghostwriters while he was picking up Lady Gaga’s dry cleaning to tell them to jump on the sanctimonious double standard train as well. But unlike Nathan Followill, I don’t apologize. Mostly because I give not a fuck. On the other hand, I do give a fuck about someone telling me that I have a disdain for gay people and how they are shocked by “cruel, stereotypical thoughts”, when that same person posted THIS. A post about a person who Perez viciously outed, and when it was mentioned that he may have gone too far, Perez replied, “And if I have to drag some people screaming out of the closet, then I will.” Oh, let’s not also forget the time Perez got his ass beat by Will.i.am.’s bodyguard then called him “Will.i.am a fag”. You know, but not before he tweeted like a little bitch asking his followers to call the police. Look, if you want to draw cocks and cum on people’s faces one day, don’t come to me with your righteous indignation and act like you’re all above it the next. And if you have a show that turns every song into a show tune, don’t clench your butt plug every time an artist has the audacity to say no. Instead, do us all a favor. Take a Xanax and stop posing for a picture that nobody is fucking taking. Thanks.

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OK, I Lied

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I realized I said I wouldn’t write about Perez Hilton anymore, but that’s before some Canadian gossip website called Drink The Glitter posted these pictures of Perez Hilton screaming and flinching like an abused child after getting a fist of justice to his dumb ass face. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but if Jesus doesn’t stop a meteor from crashing into Earth sometime this afternoon or if the cast of my penis isn’t the top story tonight on CNN, this might be the best fucking thing you see all day.

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Sissy Fight!!!





As you probably already heard, Perez Hilton got his ass beat down like an Iraqi prisoner by Black Eyed Peas’ frontman, Will.I.Am (Pretentious for “William”? Not sure) Sunday night after the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto. Now for the irony, GLAAD now wants to kick his ass too, because the gay slur (fucking faggot) he used during the argument that was caught on tape, apparently doesn’t make GLAAD feel all that glad.:( Hilton says in a statement to TMZ:

“I am saddened GLAAD chose to victimize me further by criticizing me for how I non-violently dealt with a very scary situation that, unfortunately, turned violent. While I doubt I will get an apology from GLAAD, nor do I expect one, I would just hope people know how difficult it is to intellectualize a situation and think rationally when a thug disguised as a musician is screaming at your face and intimidating you. I am just very fortunate and grateful that nothing more serious happened to me.”

Man, this should be fun. A war between a fat queer and and an army of gays. I have no idea what something like that entails, but I’m pretty sure we can expect a Judy Garland karaoke contest and a baton twirling competition at some point.

This post is ridiculously gay, so here’s Marisa Miller and her kick ass stomach and perfect tits to apologize:

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