Ozzy Osbourne Is Single
Ozzy Osbourne Is Single

Like, imagine being married to Sharon Osbourne for 33 years. That doesn’t sound fun. It’s can’t be. Being drunk for 30 of those probably helped, but Ozzy Osbourne is sober now and I guess he realized. 

A source tells E! News that the couple mutually agreed that Ozzy would move out of the house temporarily. In addition, the split has nothing to do with Ozzy’s sobriety. Our insider shared that the rocker has been sober for three and a quarter years and has not touched drugs or alcohol in that time.

He realized he should be banging other people. 

Former X Factor judge Sharon Osborne has dumped hubby Ozzy Osborne after he allegedly cheated on her with a hairdresser, it was reported last night. The 67-year-old Black Sabbath frontman is reported to have had a relationship with Michelle Pugh, 45, a celebrity hairdresser whose clients include Jennifer Lopez and Alicia Silverstone. Sharon is said to have confronted Ozzy telling him she had proof of an affair which she had suspected for some time.

It’s hard to imagine Ozzy Osbourne can still respond to his own name, much less find another place to live. But sticking your penis in strange is a motor skill that never really leaves you. Maybe him and the hairdresser can Zillow and chill. Oh wow that was lame. Damn. Sorry. I’m trying out a new coffee and I’m having a little adjustment period. I appreciate your patience during this transition.

[ h/t Dlisted ]

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Lady Gaga Is A Mean One

Lady Gaga, who swears she lives for her “little monsters,” showed her appreciation for their support this weekend. The Toronto Sun reports:

The Poker Face star returned to the U.K. capital with her Monster Ball tour and was at her controversial best when a fan threw a doll of Father Christmas onto the stage.

Gaga accepted the gift – but then stunned the audience by biting into it with her teeth before finishing it off with the heel of her shoe.

She told her victim, “I hate the holidays. I’m alone and miserable you f**king stuffed little toy.”

But Gaga made up for her aggression later in the set, by reading segments of a book another devotee handed to her.

Attacking a stuffed animal that some poor soul with poor taste gave you? Now that’s metal. Though in Gaga’s defense, she probably thought it was a chew toy. Just like this guy did. Except, you know, with a live fucking bat.

Here’s Erin Heatherton in the fitting room at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. If you’re upset that there aren’t more Lady Gaga photos here, you should probably be reading Perez instead.

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