Katy Perry’s amfAR Quinceanera Went Well
Katy Perry’s amfAR Quinceanera Went Well


“She still doing it?”

“Mmm hmmm.”


Since Selena Gomez has better things to do besides be up Orlando Bloom’s ass every waking moment, Katy Perry filled in nicely by following him to amfAR’s 23rd Cinema Against AIDS Gala last night in France.

Katy Perry, 31, very quickly decided she didn’t want to break up with Orlando Bloom, 39, after he seemed to be caught kissing Selena Gomez, 23, in Las Vegas. However, the pair walked the red carpet separately at the fabulous anfAR gala on May 19, despite the fact that they showed up together at the Met Ball.

Jesus, she even wore a Quinceanera dress to trick Orlando into thinking she was Selena. These pictures don’t show us if she was wearing soccer shoes or not. She’s a month away from Instagramming J Iron Word quotes.


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Katy Perry Was All Up Orlando Bloom’s Ass In Cannes This Weekend
Katy Perry Was All Up Orlando Bloom’s Ass In Cannes This Weekend


Less than a week after this and this happened, Katy Perry was smothering Orlando Bloomwith insecurity in Cannes this past weekend. John Mayer hopes she’s sipping with the rest of us.  

(more…)

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Selena Gomez Stole Your Man, Katy Perry
Selena Gomez Stole Your Man, Katy Perry


Say what you want about pointy ears and blue contacts, but Orlando Bloom turned that into quality getting pussy for life even though they’ve ran out of Hobbit books.  He’s like a budget Leonardo DiCaprio, but Leonardo has never banged this. Orlando Bloom has. Katy Perry also calls him her boyfriend. I mean, probably not so much now since he banged Selena Gomez last week. You do you, Orlando. 

Orlando Bloom and Selena Gomez found love in the club — for at least one night — when things got VERY physical in Las Vegas, and TMZ got pics of the hookup. It went down Friday night at Light in Mandalay Bay — Selena had the after-party for her Vegas concert there, and sources in the club tell us Orlando was a surprise, late addition to the party … and made a major impression when he got there. We’re told things got very “touchy feely” quickly before 23-year-old Selena and 39-year-old Orlando started neck-nuzzling and embracing in a booth. However, we’re told Selena absolutely went back to her room alone.

This also happened.

Yeah. 31 sounds about right. Selena Gomez is 23 and looks like this most of the time. Katy Perry is 31. She also wore this to the MET Gala. What was that about? That must have factored into Orlando Bloom’s decision here. 


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Katy Perry Calls Orlando Bloom ‘Her Boyfriend’ Now
Katy Perry Calls Orlando Bloom ‘Her Boyfriend’ Now


It’s been barely two months since Orlando Bloom saw Katy Perry’s boobs at the Golden Globes then took them home and did what you do with boobs like that. They’ve basically been together ever since, and were spotted in Malibu yesterday all up on each other.  

“Katy likes how down to earth Orlando is,” the insider explained to us earlier this month. “They seem to be getting serious and are an official couple. She calls him her boyfriend.

Katy Perry doesn’t seem to be wearing makeup in those pics E! has up, so Orlando Bloom really must be in love or the boobs haven’t worn off yet. Like I said, it’s only been two months. Give it time.


Look, Orlando Bloom has already banged this and was married to Miranda Kerr. He’ll snap out of whatever this is eventually. 


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Selena Gomez Says She Never Banged Orlando Bloom
Selena Gomez Says She Never Banged Orlando Bloom

Selena Gomez understands that when you pull the pin on a grenade, you don’t hang around to watch it blow up, so she’s now distancing herself from this Bieber/Bloom thing. Also, “Bieber Bloom” sounds like a shitty law firm.

Selena Gomez says she’s never done the nasty with Orlando Bloom … and she has absolutely zero to do with his raging battle against her ex-BF Justin Bieber. Sources directly connected to Selena tell us … the reason she was with Orlando back in March is because their manager organized an event for his clients at We Day in Oakland. As for the widely-circulated photo of Orlando and Selena at a Chelsea Handler show in L.A. a few weeks later … it was nothing more than a smoke break. They were actually with their respective groups of friends and happened to be next to each other when the pic was snapped.

Selena seems really defensive, because the picture in question (here) looks like Selena regrets letting Orlando talk her into anal and letting him wait with her while her Uber driver tries to find an alternate route through traffic. “Your driver will arrive in 4 mins”?! You said that 5 mins ago!

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Justin Bieber Is A Little Bitch

It looks like this Justin Bieber/Orlando Bloom “feud” isn’t going away any time soon, because a day after his bodyguards blocked Bloom’s punch then safely escorted Bieber out of the club and tucked him into his race car bed, he posted this picture on Instagram. That’s what bitches do. Post shit and troll people on social media then do…not much else, because well, they don’t have much else to do. I bet Orlando Bloom has some cool pics he’s been waiting to post. Can’t wait to see them!

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Orlando Bloom Swung On Justin Bieber

Besides being tunnel brothers, Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber are not related. So this is just two bitches fighting over two other bitches. For the lack of a better phrase: Ain’t nobody got time for that.

New video shows what went down inside the restaurant. You can see Bloom deliver a right hand shove to Bieber’s face, though Bieber’s bodyguard appears to deflect the brunt of the blow. Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber early Wednesday morning in Ibiza … and Justin fled the restaurant — this according to 2 eyewitnesses. The eyewitnesses tell TMZ … Orlando was in Cipriani restaurant which was packed with celebs, including Paris Hilton, and Diddy. You don’t see Orlando swing, but the eyewitnesses tell us that’s exactly what happened. We’re told Justin ducked the punch. That’s where the video starts and you hear Justin scream, “What’s up bitch?” We’re told when Bieber left the crowd applauded. The backstory is almost legendary … Justin partied with Orlando’s then-wife Miranda Kerr after a 2012 Victoria’s Secret fashion show in NYC and they got very VERY close. And in April of this year, Orlando was hanging out with Justin’s on-and-off GF Selena Gomez. So the bad blood is flowing.

I don’t even know how Bloom got close enough to Bieber to get a punch(?) off, because Bieber can’t even try to put a straw in a juice box without his bodyguards stomping on it, but we should all just take the time to salute the real hero this story: the crowd. The only issue is that they didn’t wrap him in the Canadian flag and set him on fire. Canadians are well-known for hating us for our freedom.

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Selena Gomez Is Doing The Same Thing To Orlando Bloom Now
Selena Gomez Is Doing The Same Thing To Orlando Bloom Now

 

Continuing in her phase of banging efeminate white dudes, Selena Gomez is now reportedly banging Orlando Bloom. Sources say Justin Bieber is so mad he threw his Barbie Princess Unicorn against the wall. Every princess needs the perfect pet, and what could be more perfect than the enchanting unicorn? Barbie Princess doll's unicorn has a gorgeous wavy mane that girls will want to brush and style! A glittery saddle and tiara of its own make it the perfect riding companion for Barbie princess! An enclosed brush lets girls beautify the unicorn's mane!

Justin Bieber, 20, is furious over Selena Gomez, 21, allegedly flirting with Orlando Bloom. The Biebs is used to being “king of the hill” when it comes to his lady-love’s affections, so this latest interaction between Selena, and Orlando must be a huge slap in the face to the troubled pop bad-boy.  Selena and Orlando recently participated in the We Day California conference on March 26. The 21-year-old singer gave a moving speech and later, backstage, posed with Orlando and Seth Rogen — who has been one of Justin’s biggest haters. The picture  was posted to her Instagram account, and was probably the reason for Justin’s alleged  jealous accusations. Additionally, Seth has openly expressed his disdain for the “Never Say Never” singer, which could have also triggered a reaction in Justin.

I don't know why Justin Bieber is so upset, because Orlando Bloom is the real loser in this whole thing. Because, uh, up until last year, he had his own table and an open reservation in Miranda Kerr's vagina. Now a waitress is telling him the drink specials at a Taco Mac.

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Miranda Kerr Is Dating A 46-Year Old Billionaire

Is Orlando Bloom a very handsome man? Yes. Was Miranda Kerr convinced that, combined with her genes, Orlando Bloom would a produce an aesthetically pleasing child? Yes. Is Orlando Bloom a nice guy who genuinely seems to love his family? Yes. Does Orlando Bloom have all that Legolas money? Yes.  But please keep in mind, Orlando Bloom is not a billionaire. And nothing makes a chick tsunami off her seat like the letter "B" in front of "illionaire". So naturally, Miranda Kerr has been secretly dating 46-year old Australian billionaire James Packer for months. And if you're wondering what you have to look like to pull Victoria's Secret ass if you have a billion dollars. THIS. You have to look like this. Vogue Australia reports:

After announcing her split from Orlando Bloom just a few months ago, Miranda Kerr (and April Vogue cover model) is said to be in a relationship with James Packer. Packer, in turn, had earlier announced his own divorce from Vogue's November cover model Erica Packer; interestingly, Erica Packer and Kerr also both hail from the same town of Gunnedah (look at that six degrees of separation right there). Neither Kerr nor Packer have denied the reports after being approached a week ago. It is said that the pair have been in a secret relationship for the past few months. Kerr and Packer have known each other for several years, often holidaying together with their respective families and Packer has been said to have provided business advice to Kerr on her beauty brand, Kora.

So to recap, Miranda Kerr was happily married to Orlando Bloom until her billionaire friend divorced his wife, then she was no longer hapilly married to Orlando Bloom. This has to be some sort of coincidence, and not a long-term and calculated plan by Miranda Kerr to dive in a swimming pool of money. Nope. This is definitely true love. Of money. True love of money.

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Thank You, Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney is proof that as long as you put in a few years with a popular boy band, you can then spend the next four decades making average-to-terrible music and still have enough clout in the entertainment industry to get A-list actors like Johnny Depp and Natalie Portman to star in your latest music video. Then you can have a big premiere of that video where half of Hollywood turns out. But I do have to give the cute Beatle some credit, he managed to get Miranda Kerr to change out of workout clothes for the first time in weeks. So thanks for that, Paul.

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