Nastia Linkin

Denise Richards is here to stay [Dlisted]
Anal fisting at the Olympics [City Rag]
Serena Williams is a big giant monster [Hollywood Rag]
Jennifer Lopez is still desperate for attention [Just Jared]
David Beckham might really have a big dick [Lainey Gossip]
Miley Cyrus duck face still posing for pictures (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
George and Brad are promoting yet another movie [Popsugar]
Pamela Anderson is looking haggard [Hollywood Tuna]
Natalie Martinez has booty [Popoholic]
Heidi Montag is a retard [Egotastic]
Rihanna might have nipples (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Vanessa Minnillo is still famous for no reason [ASL]

Olympic Gold Medal winning Nastia Liukin in a bikini:

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Phelps Beats Other Countries, Bangs Their Women

Eamon Sullivan is an Australian Olympic swimmer who blew his shot at gold medals in Bejing by losing in races in which he was favored (he finished 6th in one of those). He was dating fellow Australian swimmer, Stephanie Rice. Then America’s Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals. Eamon Sullivan is no longer dating Stephanie Rice. New York Post reports:

Phelps, fresh from shattering Mark Spitz’s 36-year-old record, was spotted Monday night in a hot make-out session with Down Under swimmer Stephanie Rice, a source tells The Post’s Clemente Lisi and Luke Dennehy. The pumped-up pair clinched and swapped spit at a celebratory bash outside the Olympic Village. The Baltimore Bullet swooped in for the lip-lock with the 20-year-old brunette just weeks after she split from Aussie swimmer Eamon Sullivan. “All the swimmers are talking about it, and [Sullivan] is cut up about what happened,” the source said. The day after the face-sucking frolics, Phelps and Rice cheekily posed together for Speedo – laughing and playfully groping each other as a photographer snapped them in their swimsuits. “I definitely admire him for his athletic ability and everything he’s achieved,” gushed Rice, who won three gold medals of her own. “I’m just really glad to be in the mix with that.”

I tried to think of a scenario where Michael Phelps could possibly kick more ass, but involved him carrying a trident, wearing an American flag as a cape, and flying into outer space on a giant eagle to thwart aliens from colonizing Earth. Some people thought that might a little unrealistic. But don’t kid yourselves. They’re coming. Oh yes, they’re coming. Wake up America!

The following video is dedicated to this picture of Stephanie Rice and Rihanna:

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Courtenay Semel is a busted up fame whore (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Gwen Stefani is having her baby [Just Jared]
Will Smith is gay [Popsugar]
Eva Longoria is either pregnant or fat [Dlisted]
Nicole Richie is jealous of Mary-Kate Olsen [Hollywood Rag]
Jennifer Garner is still pregnant [Lainey Gossip]
Danielle Lloyd is topless [Hollywood Tuna]
Matthew McConaughey’s surfing faux pas [City Rag]
More Halle Berry in lingerie [Popoholic]
Ugly ass Audrina Patridge in more stupid staged pictures [Egotastic]
Charles Manson is Scatmanson [College Humor]
Emily Parr forgot her panties (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor kicking ass and winning gold last night:

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Jennifer Lopez is Still a Bitch

Jennifer Lopez never ever disappoints when it comes to telling the world how great Jennifer Lopez is. And I have to admit, this time it’s pretty impressive. Even for me. You’ve been warned. As you read this, try not to punch a hole in the first thing you see. MSNBC reports:

Poor Jennifer Lopez. The new mom is training for a triathlon, but everyone is too busy watching the Olympics to notice. Lopez, who appeared on “Good Morning America” Aug. 18 to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.'” Lopez is planning on donating money raised for her race to the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. To help drum up attention, she started a blog to share tips on training. “Touch up makeup prior to your run” hasn’t made its way into any posts, despite Lopez being spotted arriving in Central Park with her makeup artist later in the day. “Apparently, Jenny from the Block requires a lot of powder,” says the source.”

Yeah, Jennifer. Who cares to see the most decorated Olympian of all time make history when we can watch your fat ass putting on mascara and struggling to breathe during a triathalon you’ll never finish? Here’s a hint: Everyone. So shut the hell up and take a moment to finally realize that you only have a career because Selena got shot in the back. You suck and you’re completely irrelevant. The only way you’d be a lead story today is if you fell into a vat of chemicals and grew 50 feet then attacked a city.

Photos: Splash

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Margaret Cho is tattooed [Just Jared]
Renee Zellweger looks kinda old [Popsugar]
Eva Longoria is trying to have a baby [Dlisted]
Marla Maples is in shape, we get it [Hollywood Tuna]
Naomi Campbell on a yacht in a bikini (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Mister Rogers evil clown video [City Rag]
Office Space Drama [College Humor]
Lindsay Lohan wants to be Jewish [Hollywood Rag]
Kim Kardashian booty tight in 80s jeans [Popoholic]
Vin Diesel on Broadway [Lainey Gossip]
Cheeky Girls topless (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
How My Ass Taste? (Tropic Thunder) [Pajiba]
More of Rihanna in Barbados [Egotastic]
Christina Aguilera goes out again [ASL]

USA Women’s Gymnastics team finals/silver medalist winners last night:

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Michael Phelps Owns France

Leave it to the French (who have never won anything that matters) to talk shit to the United States Men’s Swim Team, which just happens to include the greatest swimmer of this generation.

We will smash them up!” France’s Alain Bernard boasted on Sunday after the heats of the men’s 4x100m freestyle relay.”

Not only did USA win the gold in the 4×100 men’s relay, they broke the world record. Suck it, France. The only way you could’ve been more embarrassed is if Michael Phelps was dressed as a mime.

If you don’t know anything about WWII, watch the French dudes in this video and you’ll get the general idea:

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Star Wars Classic vs. Special Edition [College Humor]
Sienna and Balthazar go to the pharmacy [Dlisted]
Rachel Bilson is a bum with pokies [Hollywood Tuna]
Scarlett Johansson‘s boobs light up Leno [City Rag]
Rachel Bilson drops into Home Depot [Just Jared]
George Clooney gives his abs some air [Popsugar]
Justin Timberlake is still romancing Jessica Biel [Hollywood Rag]
Leighton Meester stunning in NY [Popoholic]
Mandy Moore in a shitty see through shirt (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Jodie Marsh meat curtain upshorts (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Ryan Phillippe‘s girlfriend is in a bikini [Egotastic]
Rihanna shows Chris Brown around Barbados [ASL]
Gwyneth Paltrow is leggy and horsey [Lainey Gossip]
I Love You, Too, Man. Now Shut the Fuck Up. (Pineapple Express) [Pajiba]

The USA Women’s Gymnastics team on August 10th:

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Helloooo 2008 Olympics!

The Olympics are here, but the women’s beach volleyball uniforms are not. I specifically asked for the “Naked and Nudity,” and all we got were these lousy “Thong and Bra” uniforms. The IOC really needs to step it up, so they only scored a butt[point]cheek today rather than a tit[point]ass. Better luck next time, slackers.

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