Olivia Wilde Is Pregnant Like Everybody Else
Olivia Wilde Is Pregnant Like Everybody Else


Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis had a kid in 2014. I’m saying that only because I forgot that happened. That statement was more for me anyway, my apologies. You probably knew about the first kid. They have two kids now basically is what this post is about. 

Olivia Wilde is pregnant! The Vinyl star and her fiancé, actor Jason Sudeikis, are expecting their second child, she announced Monday via Instagram.

I announced Monday via Instagram that I had pancakes. It’s not hard to announce stuff on Instagram. The app is fairly easy to use.


 

Matching baby bumps. ✌️

A photo posted by Olivia Wilde (@oliviawilde) on

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Olivia Wilde Was Too Old To Play DiCaprio’s Wife In ‘Wolf Of Wall Street’
Olivia Wilde Was Too Old To Play DiCaprio’s Wife In ‘Wolf Of Wall Street’


Olivia Wilde, 32, was told she was too “old” to play Leonardo DiCaprio‘s, 41, wife in Wolf Of Wall Street. I mean, that’s basically true. 

“I had heard for a part that I was too sophisticated, and I was like, ‘Oh, that sounds nice. I like that feedback. I didn’t get the part, but at least I’m a sophisticated person,'” she recalled on Tuesday. “And I found out later that they actually said, ‘old.’…”I want to make a translation sheet for Hollywood that’s like, all the feedback your agent gives you and what it really means,” Wilde told Stern with a laugh.

The role, of course, went to Margot Robbie‘s hot ass (Olivia Wilde agreed), but I don’t understand why this is a big deal. Has Leonardo DiCaprio ever seen a woman over 30 naked before? Why would he marry one? Why would he want to see one on set? How does Olivia Wilde be hot and have a jawline like a He-Man villain? It’s all very confusing.


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Screw You, Otis
Screw You, Otis

 

Not only did Olivia Wilde name her son “Otis”, but he’s stuck on her tit like a pastie all the time, ensuring he will one day grow up a psychosexual sociopath who makes lamps out of women’s skin.

“Being shot with Otis is so perfect because any portrait of me right now isn’t complete without my identity as a mother being a part of that. Breast-feeding is the most natural thing. I don’t know, now it feels like Otis should always be on my breast. It felt like we were capturing that multifaceted woman we’ve been discussing—that we know we can be. You can be someone who is at once maternal and professional and sexy and self-possessed. [But] I mean, I certainly don’t really look like that when I’m [typically] breast-feeding. And there’s usually a diaper involved.”

Everything happens for a reason, and Otis was born to make Olivia Wilde’s rack bigger, so I thank him for his contribution to society. I also realize I’m hating on a newborn, so I’ll see myself out. Hey, at least I’m not using him as a human shield. Perspective.

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Olivia Cockburn Had A Boy And Named Him Otis Sudeikis
Olivia Cockburn Had A Boy And Named Him Otis Sudeikis

 

Olivia Wilde had her kid last night, a boy named "Otis Sudeikis". To recap, Olivia Wilde has a son named Otis Sudeikis. Can't wait until he opens his gyro/auto body repair shop.

 

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Olivia Wilde Is Having A Boy

May Olivia Wilde's first child be a masculine child. E! reports:

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis' first child will be a boy, the pregnant Her actress announced after the 71st Annual Golden Globes ended on Sunday, Jan. 12. The 29-year-old beauty dressed her baby bump in an emerald sequined Gucci gown for the star-studded event. "Until about a week ago, I just looked fat!" she told People of selecting a floor-length gown. "I wanted to be like, 'I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!'"…The mom-to-be's son was quite active that evening. "He was kicking the whole time, going, 'Where are we?!'" said Wilde, who told E! News that she's due on May 4. The once-wed actress also revealed that she loves her new body. "It's great—I've never had boobs before!" joked the Drinking Buddies star.

That's cool, but I wonder what her next 20 kids will be? If I was Jason Sudeikis, I'd put her in a jean skirt and some Keds and do what comes naturally.

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Olivia Wilde Is Very Pregnant

Like most men would, Jason Sudeikis didn't take long to not pull out of Olivia Wilde. Then you realize she'll be pregnant and nobody really wants to deal with that because that's pretty gross. I don't know if I would glow if a human was scheduled to come screaming out of my body cavity. Anyway, the good news is her boobs are getting bigger, but the bad news is she also looks like she's pregnant in her forehead. For Sudeikis sake, I hope the kid has his head. It would be probably difficult to get horny when your wife needs a turtleneck to cover up her c-section scar.

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Olivia Wilde Had To Make The First Move On Jason Sudeikis

In the October 2013 issue of Allure, Olivia Wilde said some words, but what we're going to focus on here is the unlimted options available to single men in New York City and Hollywood.

"I met Jason, and I thought he was so charming. He's a great dancer and I'm a sucker for great dancers. But he didn't even get my number. Over the next six months we kept running into each other. [One night], my best guy friend walked up to him and said, 'This is Olivia's number. Use it.' That was the beginning," she says.

As you read this, please keep in mind that Olivia Wilde was married at 18 in the back of an abandoned school bus and stayed married until 2011. He real last name is "Cockburn", so you know this could have only ended up one way. As 1 Peter 5:8 says, her vagina was roaming the Earth like a roaring lion seeking to devour the D. I would quote the Book of Jason, but it's mostly about unlimited blowjobs and anal.

 

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Hey There, Olivia Wilde And Links

Amanda Bynes Is Back on Twitter [Fishwrapper]

Nicole Scherzinger's White Pantie Upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Lindsay Lohan Pulls No Show At Venice Film Festival [The Superficial]

Jessica Alba Slips Into A Bikini For Our Labor Day Weekend [Popoholic]

Julianne Hough Is Still Working On Her Fitness [Hollywood Tuna]

Lance Bass Is Getting Married To This [Dlisted]

Get Revenge [MyEx]

Samantha Gradoville is not very famous (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]

James Spader is an evil robot [Lainey Gossip]

Andrea Casiraghi & Tatiana Santo Domingo marry in a private civil ceremony [Celebitchy]

Hayden Panettiere Spends Labor Day Weekend In A Bikini [Moe Jackson]

“Even in the realm of really bad movies, Getaway is a special kind of awful” [Film Drunk]

Is Kate Upton pregnant? [Celebslam]

A Photo Tribute To Everything American For Labor Day Weekend [COED Magazine]

Ozzy Osbourne Set His House on Fire Cooking a Bacon Sandwich [The Blemish]

Is Martin Scorsese Making A David Bowie/Mick Jagger TV Show? [Evil Beet Gossip]

Uncharted Movie Will Happen Before Mass Effect Film [Crave Online]

Farrah Abraham: Writing the next “Fifty Shades of Grey?” [Popbytes]

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Olivia Wilde Made These Faces, Links

Charlize Theron In A Bikini, That Is All [Fishwrapper]

Nabilla Benattia Changes her Bikini on the Beach (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie

Madonna Has A Grill Now. Oh, Good. [The Superficial]

Natalie Portman Hot Mom Alert! [Popoholic]

Kirsten Dunst Is Not All That Bad [Hollywood Tuna]

Beyonce And Weaves Are Back Together Again [Dlisted]

Hello [MyEx]

Paris Hilton at some Foam Party in Ibiza (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]

Look at this Armani ad featuring Cate Blanchett [Lainey Gossip]

Duchess Kate to make her first public post-baby appearance on Sept. 12th [Celebitchy]

Cheryl Cole Got A Really Big Back Tattoo [Moe Jackson]

Harriet Tubman sex scenes are not comedy [Film Drunk]

Khloe Kardashian should maybe wear looser pants [Celebslam]

Things You Didn't Know About Steve Jobs & Apple [COED Magazine

Watch Val Kilmer Transform Into Mark Twain [The Blemish]

It’s Not Usher’s Fault His 5-Year-Old Son Nearly Drowned [Evil Beet Gossip]

What if Star Wars Episode II Was Better? [Crave Online]

Kris Jenner pulled a fast on Kim and Kanye [Popbytes]

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Here’s Olivia Wilde And Her Brother….Charlie Cockburn

In what appears to be a fun family outing with Olivia Wilde and her brother, equal parts tragedy and hilarity ensue when we learn that Olivia Wilde's real last name is "COCKBURN". If she decides to go into porn (which I fully support btw), she won't even have to change her name. "Cockburn". Say it with me.

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