Octomom Is In Rehab

Well, I mean, at least it’s not porn, right? TMZ reports:

A rep for Octomom tells us … Nadya admitted herself into the Chapman House Drug Rehabilitation Center in Southern California over the weekend after acknowledging she’s become dependent on Xanax … an anti-anxiety drug … which she began taking to “deal with stress.” Suleman’s rep tells us, “Nadya wanted to get off the Xanax she was prescribed by her doctor and learn to deal with her stress, exhaustion and anxiety with professional help with a team of doctors. Nadya wanted to deal with her issues and make sure she is the best mother she can be.” TMZ has obtained photos of Nadya on her way to the treatment center (above). As for the kids … we’re told Nadya is using 3 nannies and 2 friends to divvy up the child care duties. She also has a driver to take the kids to and from school.

Say what you want about this dumbass, but if I had 14 kids, I’d probably need some prescriptions, too. At this point, based on what you hear on the news, I think she deserves a gold star for not drowning them yet. Or ever worse, letting the Duggars adopt them.

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This Is Octomom. Let That Marinate.

Octomom has a fetish video. These are the stills from that.

TMZ has obtained the UNBELIEVABLE photos of Octomom whipping a grown-ass man dressed up as a baby in some kind of weird FETISH shoot. Octo — who STUFFED herself into an ultra-skin-tight corset — is crackin’ the whip on a guy named Tattoo … an L.A. radio personality featured on Rick.com. The eerily-erotic madness takes place all over Octo’s La Habra home … with Tattoo posing with her kids’ horsey and inside their play castle.

Going to stab out my mind’s eye now. brb.

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Octomom Was a Stripper Named Angelina

You might be surprised to learn that a single woman with no source of income or permanent place of residence would have octuplets with the help medical technology, even though she had six already, would be desperate for attention, but be prepared to have your mind blown! She does! Just like she did in her last job!

An exotic dancer going by the name of Sage tells In Touch that she performed with Nadya at amateur stripping contests and bachelor parties between 1999 and 2000. “I met her at an amateur contest, and we wound up doing parties together,” she explains. Limo driver Luis Ceballos also claims to have enountered Nadya during her stripping days. Rather than being shy and ashamed about her job as she has said, he reckons Nadya “always said she wanted to be really famous” and was “overly flirty with the guys we performed for.”

The seething hatred I have for this selfish, delusional lunatic can only be matched by the thought of seeing this hag on stage in Lucite heels and a baby doll dress. That banner picture looks like something that should be pulled out of that whale in Pinocchio, not asking me to go to a private room. I’m not even joking when I say I’d rather get a lap dance from a bear trap.

Why pictures of Angelina Jolie being slutty instead of Octomom? Dude. I hope you didn’t just say that out loud:

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