Candice Swanepoel Had A Happy Easter
Candice Swanepoel Had A Happy Easter

 

Candice Swanepoel is the closest thing to physical perfection the Earth has to offer, so when she gets naked on Instagram (see NSFW version here), I'm contractually and morally obligated to post it. Why can't this be the body of Christ? I'd eat that. I mean, figuratively of course.

 

pic source = Instagram

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Alexandra Daddario Got Naked For Vanity Fair
Alexandra Daddario Got Naked For Vanity Fair

 

You wanna know how great True Detective is? "Alexandra Daddario topless" is like the 6th best thing that happened in season 1. Maybe the 7th. I guess she realized that and decided to get completely naked for Vanity Fair. I could keep typing, or you can look at the NSFW photo here. You're welcome. What? Oh, stop it. You're making me blush.

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Demi Lovato And Fes Have Leaked Naked Pics

As the headline clearly points out, Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama took pics of themselves sexin and now they're online. Sucks for them, cool for all of you I guess. Demi Lovato is a violent cokehead and a cutter, but at least she understands how to keep her man happy. Gold star for Demi. I could lie and say these aren't kinda hot, but I just want to tell the girl in Santa Monica who stopped me for my autograph because she thought I was Wilmer Valderrama, that this isn't me. I wasn't Wilmer Valderrama that time either, dummy.

 

Note: The last pic is very NSFW (i.e. titties)

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Who Wants To See Kendall Jenner’s Nipples?

Kendall Jenner was playing with dolls and drinking from a sippy cup like three years ago, but here she is walking the runway at Marc Jacobs during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. And those are her nipples. I assume people think this might be hot, but all I see is a chick who still probably holds her nose when she takes a shot. I can't get down with that. I mean, I guess I can understand why this happened. Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney are all old now and can't get the attention they used to. This is probably the only way Kris Jenner can achieve orgasm.

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Taylor Momsen Is Naked On Her New Album Cover
Taylor Momsen Is Naked On Her New Album Cover

 

Taylor Momsen was Cindy Lou in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, but then she discovered eyeliner and Tumblr, and has tried to be rich white girl edgy ever since. Now she's the lead singer of a shitty band called The Pretty Reckless (ooh it has two meanings!) and they have a new album called "Going To Hell" coming out. And, uhhh, this is the album cover. It's a picture of a naked Taylor Momsen with a tattoo pointing to her crack. So she's bad at anal? I don't get it. See the NSFW version HERE. You know, if that's your thing, weirdo.

 

pic source = Twitter

 

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Sooo…Kim Kardashian Has This Purse Now

I'm not sure if this was a Christmas gift from Kanye or not, but Kim Kardashian has a new purse with two chicks scissoring on it while another chick watches. At least I think it's a purse. Miley Cyrus might call it the storyboards for her next video.

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Candice Swanepoel Posted This On Instagram Then Deleted It
Candice Swanepoel Posted This On Instagram Then Deleted It

 

When you're physical perfection, sometimes you feel the need to take naked pics and post them on Instagram. Then, you have to read comments from chicks on their third McGriddle telling you that you should eat a sandwhich because they don't unerstand that just buying the Insanity DVDs and not opening them don't cause you to lose weight. You also have to read comments from dudes who say you look like a 10-year old boy, because looking at a full grown naked woman and thinking, "10-year old boy" isn't weird at all. So sorry, Candice Swanepoel. Sorry you had to delete it. Diabetes is also sorry because it so wanted to do you.

 

SEE THE UNCENSORED (NSFW) PIC HERE

 

 

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Kendall Jenner Is Already Posing Topless
Kendall Jenner Is Already Posing Topless

 

Welp, that didn't take long, guys. Kendall Jenner is already posing topless. You can see the NSFW version here, or you can wait until she makes a sex tape with Jennifer Hudson's little brother or whatever the Brandy/Ray J equivalent is. Janelle Monae's little brother? To be honest, there's lots of possibilities here.

 

pic source = Instagram

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Monica Bellucci Is Filming A Movie

Hey, remember when Monica Bellucci was one of the most beautiful women in the world? That was cool. Well she's filming a movie now called The Milky Way where she runs around the woods in a see through shirt. Based on the title, I think she plays a lactation consultant who is on the run from a serial killer. Should play well at SXSW.

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