Leonardo DiCaprio & Nina Agdal Split
Leonardo DiCaprio & Nina Agdal Split

 

It’s that time again, friends. That time when Leonardo DiCaprio dumps a hot model he’s been banging for a year for no other reason than because he can. Maybe Nina Agdal got dumped because she thought global warming was a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese. Or maybe she got dumped for the same reason DiCaprio dumps everyone. Take it away and act surprised, People.

That’s because, the source says, “He’s not ready to settle down and just isn’t in the mindset to get married or have kids.”

That’s ok. According to Instagram, it looks like she’s open for business.

 

 

#fbf to when the DiCaprio world was her oyster.

 

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DiCaprio Is Still Banging Nina Agdal
DiCaprio Is Still Banging Nina Agdal


Apparently #HappyHeteroSexualPrideDay is trending because we’ve had to hide in the shadows for too long in fear of persecution. So let’s all celebrate. I think it was started by this recent virgin. I’m sure his wife is concerned about all the false flag attacks on her vagina. She also probably doesn’t get loud as the brand suggests. Anyway, we’re here to talk about America’s favorite heterosexual, Leonardo DiCaprio

Leo DiCaprio and his latest blond model girlfriend, Nina Agdal, are on a romantic trip to the Bahamas, even though his reps have denied they’re dating. The Oscar winner and Danish Sports Illustrated model have been spending time in the Bahamas, and visited the private island of Over Yonder Cay, which rents at an astonishing $75,000 per night with a minimum seven-night stay.

Astonishing. When you can drop half a million for a week vacation in the Bahamas, it should be assumed that a Sports Illustrated model is included in the price. If not, I’m not sure why anyone would bother. Instagram likes?


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Nina Agdal Is Better In A Bikini

Sorry to make you sit through Kendall Jenner bikini pics, so here’s Nina Agdal in some bikinis. I hope that helps. We can also hug if that helps. Maybe a nice dinner, some intellectual conversation, and if you want, you can show me some pictures of your dog in the snow. Haha, I’m kidding. Wanna come over after the bars close and watch some Netflix?

 

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Nina Agdal Isn’t Depressing
Nina Agdal Isn’t Depressing

 

Lots of talk about domestic violence on the site lately, so here’s Nina Agdal in a bikini wishing you peace or something.  I don’t hit women, because that’s just pretty dumb and you shouldn’t do that, but mostly because women aren’t like us. They’ll set you on fire where you fucking sleep then go open another bottle of wine and play Candy Crush they don’t give a fuck. So yeah,  here’s Nina Agdal in a bikini. Wait, is repeatedly punching a woman’s cervix considered domestic violence? I’d like to clear that up before I comment further on this picture.

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Nina Agdal Will Definitely Help

The National Guard is in Ferguson, Missouri right now, but you know where Nina Agdal is? She’s at the Encore Beach Club in Vegas wearing a bikini. I don’t know. If I was in National Guard I’d much rather be there. Seems like it would be a more laid back vibe.

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Nina Agdal Is Everything

I'd like to buy everybody at Gosee a beer or coffee. Or basically whatever they're into, because I'm not sure Nina Agdal has ever been this hot. I haven't checked her wiki so I don't know if she's ever been to Atlanta in June. Yesterday my neighbir evaporated on the way to check her mail.

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Here’s Your 2014 SI Swimsuit Cover
Here’s Your 2014 SI Swimsuit Cover

 

The 2014 Sports Ilustrated Swimsuit Issue cover was released yesterday, and the most important thing we need to realize here is that it doesn't include Kate Upton. Thanks, guys. However, it does include Nina Agdal, Lily Aldridge, and Chrissy Teigen. Instead of "blonde and kinda fat with a huge rack" being the criteria this year, apparently it was "who has a nice ass and has dated or is married to a musician"? Either way, we all win. Lookin good, ladies.

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Nina Agdal In A Bikini Is Better News

Yeah so, sorry about that last post. To make it up to you, here's Nina Agdal in a bunch of bikinis for Beach Bunny. This is pretty cool, because my New Years' resolution is to see more chicks in bikinis. Off to a great start, you guys!

 

source = Beach Bunny

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