Snooki Was Arrested Yesterday

When your 15 minutes are solely based on your ability to get shitfaced, yeah, I’d say this was inevitable. And not at all for publicity. According to TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell us the Seaside Heights PD busted Snooki moments ago for disorderly conduct. The details of that conduct are unclear. We’re told Snooki — real name Nicole Polizzi — is currently in police custody. Earlier in the day, Snooki was partying on the beach with a beer bong … only she was filling it up with Coca-Cola. We’re told she was also seen at a local bar taking “body shots.”

Okay, I admit I didn’t miss a single episode of the first season of Jersey Shore. I know, I know! But it was for the same reason I would poke at roadkill with a stick when I was little (true story) – I am one fucked up little lady. I mean, you put together a group of half-breeds and half-wits who serve as the poster children for melanoma and ‘roid rage, give them a bottle of Jäger, throw in a couple of Bump-Its, and let the rest play out on it’s own? That’s pure GOLD in my book. But I digress… why the hell would anyone put Coke in a beer bong? To see how fast those empty calories go straight to your thighs? Well done Snooks- you seem to be winning that race.

I wonder how much fan mail this dude gets:

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Snooki Is A Murderer

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I know I said I would never have any of these Jersey Shore idiots on this site ever again, but the short, fat one killed somebody so….

Jersey Shore star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was criminally charged for selling booze to minors at a party at her house — a party that ended with the tragic drunk driving death of one of her classmates, has uncovered in a blockbuster exclusive. Snooki was one of three people charged in connection with the 2004 death of teenager Michael Truncali, a investigation revealed. The Marlboro High School senior died with a blood alcohol level of .18 — more than twice the legal limit — when he rolled his Mazda in the early hours of Thanksgiving morning after drinking for hours at Snooki’s house. Truncali had been drinking heavily in the basement of Snooki’s home before crashing his car on his way home. After a several month investigation, Snooki was charged with Prohibited Sale of Alcoholic Beverages, as authorities said she charged a fee for alcohol.

If you didn’t have enough reasons to hate this wannabe Italian bitch, I hope this helps. She looks like a koala dipped in hairspray and Juicy Couture and she she spends her free time charging underage kids to kill themselves. Awesome. If somebody wrapped this idiot in a tarp and stuffed her in a shopping cart then pushed her off a cliff, I may DVR that episode.

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