Last month, YouTube “star” Nicole Arbour made a viral video that made “real women” happy. She followed that up with another viral video that made real women sad. So, so sad. It made them so sad she was fired from a movie about real women. Her latest video, I guess, is a propaganda film that will be used by Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte in the eventual Planned Parenthood hearings.
In a video uploaded on Thursday called “Dear Instagram Models“, YouTube comedian and actress Nicole Arbour went in on Instagram models, calling them “do nothing bitches” and saying they basically fuck old men for designer bags and clothes because men like titties. Anyway, the video has 9M views on Facebook. Here’s some excerpts.
“It’s time we have a chat, sexy bitches.”…“This has been weighing on me for a while. I can’t go on the internet without seeing you titties, your ass, or basically up your fallopian tubes because you are an Instagram model.…There’s nothing wrong with being a gorgeous, hot, sexy, fiery woman, but there’s a lot of ‘Do Nothing Bitches’ running the internet right now, and I’m not cool with it. Do Nothing Bitches, the ones who’re just trying to be hot and are waiting for some guy to come along and take care of them…I’m not saying not to be gorgeous, and confident and sexy, do that! But do something else too. I think you’re better than this. We are all better than this…Porn girls are out there getting paid for their titties and ass. You are putting it out there for free…I wanna show that I can be awesome, and smart, and good at shit, and also be a hottie! Be hot! Be sexy! But be something else too…What I do with my boobs is trick people into listening to me, then they accidentally learn something and find out I’m hilarious.”
Oh, I get it now. It’s a female empowerment message! You know, the Taylor Swift kind of female empowerment where you attack other women to show you’re a strong woman or something. I honestly don’t know how that works really. You post your titties too (see gallery above), but you obviously know you’re smarter than people you’ve never met, except you post titties and still have to work three jobs while other chicks get shit for free. Wait, it’s hard to tell who is smarter. I mean, if I could just take a seflie then have some old ladies want to send me a fresh pair of J’s and a NBA League Pass subscription, why would I be writing this shit on a Saturday? I’d contour a man bun on my head and try to keep my dick half hard until I found the best light for my boxer briefs. Then I’d go back to writing this on Monday, because humans are capable of being two things at once. That being said, the full video is after the cut. In an ironic twist, she did the video in lingerie. And if we’re being honest with ourselves, she shoulda had one of the Instagram models help her out with her makeup. Say what you want about Katie May or Emily Sears, but I assume their collection of Hermes bags aren’t filled with fucks to give but rather makeup that could have better suited your needs in this particular case. (more…)